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Don't Let It Break Your Heart!

coldplayisawesome

Maybe I'm a ghost
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Joined
Jul 27, 2006
Messages
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And just think of Chris, it also took him until he was almost 40 to find true happiness and meaning in life;)
i was thinking the same thing :D
i feel like it's actually probably something that, for most people at least, does get easier the older you get, even though it seems like it would get harder... but of course i can't say for sure :p
 

flockofbirds222

Believe In Love❤️
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Joined
Feb 6, 2016
Messages
2,942
i was thinking the same thing :D
i feel like it's actually probably something that, for most people at least, does get easier the older you get, even though it seems like it would get harder... but of course i can't say for sure :p
Yeah I always have that idea as well that you learn more about life as you get older and therefore can make more sense of everything:D
Maybe that's what I want to believe but I honestly don't care cause I need hope to hold on to:joy:
 

coldplayisawesome

Maybe I'm a ghost
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Joined
Jul 27, 2006
Messages
28,521
or even when things still seem senseless, you have a wider variety of tools to help you cope :)
 

iamsue

You're a Sky Full of Stars
Coldplayer
Joined
Apr 5, 2012
Messages
2,124
i was thinking the same thing :D
i feel like it's actually probably something that, for most people at least, does get easier the older you get, even though it seems like it would get harder... but of course i can't say for sure :p
YES! Having crossed that line myself, I am here to say it DOES get easier. [emoji108][emoji16]joy! That feeling of ennui, of constant dissatisfaction does fade. There is a sense of acceptance or feeling at home in your own skin , that settles in. I hope you find the same peace[emoji120][emoji171].
 

karvi22

Coldplayer for life.
Coldplayer
Joined
Jun 11, 2016
Messages
933
@karvi22 and @alisbe - Sending you big hugs. Feeling exactly the same way as you have described, sometimes you think you have put things behind you, only to realize the wound breaks open again at the slightest thought.
A few days ago I made the bad decision to read this thread again from the beginning, and I had to break off in the middle because it made all those horrible times come back (and I know I shouldn't be doing this to myself)...Similar to what karvi expressed, feels like there is still something broken inside, not the same again as I was before. And I totally feel like alisbe described, one day I can be in an elated mood and feel like bouncing through the world singing VLV or something and the next day, terribly depressed. And these days seem to alternate a lot.
I don't know what you can do against this "rollercoaster" thing, unfortunately....wish it was more steady.
Also, just wanted to remind everyone that when you're having one of those bad days, the worst thing you can do is start blaming yourself. As much as we think we're in control of those feelings, we usually aren't. Everyone has anxious/depressed days, it's completely normal. True, some people have them more than others, but once again that is out of our control. In most cases you'll find that those bad feelings won't even begin to fade until you've fully accepted them. Also, I do think meditation helps in many situations, so that's a useful tool. I hope you all are doing well :)
Yeah jesus yes. Sometimes I get that exact empty feeling and I have no idea why, like sometimes I Just feel like there's nothing really left in this life. Then I find myself trapping myself within these feelings and having nobody but myself to contemplate them which leads to further emptiness....
I quote only some of you but think all here have been talking about the same thing. Think this is part of life, some days we are in a good mood but some other days we're not, and that's allright. We don't have to be happy all the time. We must try to, but if we can't make it that's totally fine. Actually, life gives us more bad moments than good ones, so it's normal that sometimes we feel devastated. But we can do something about it. We should try to appreciate the good things we have, even if they seem insignificant. We have to appreciate every single beautiful detail of our lives. And when we pass through a tough moment, we must find the possitive side of it. Maybe a bad moment can make us stronger. Or maybe it can teach us something.

For example, someone I really cared about really disappointed me during the last months. I thought this person was caring and generous, but in the end this person turned to be just the opposite. I didn't expect that and I was really hurt, but I learnt something: maybe I should trust a little bit less on people. I tend to think everybody is nice, but that's not the truth, so now I know I have to be prepaired to this kind of disappointments...

As I've said, I'm still trying to bring back the light to my life, but despite all the bad things, think I'm embracing the bright moments more than ever. A walk on the park, a conversation with an old friend, a CP random video... these little things now are more meaningful to me than before. And maybe that's the best thing we can do when everything seems to go wrong...

Hope you can find the light in your lives... :) And remember: when you're in pain, when you think you've had enough... don't ever give up!


PD: @I ran away really loved that Clocks version!
 

Nie

You're a Sky Full of Stars
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Joined
Dec 8, 2014
Messages
8,119
About things getting easier when you are getting older, I can confirm that.

Yesterday, I had a car accident, someone hit me from behind and then escaped (hit-and-run offence).
The 20 year old me would have panicked. But I'm pretty calm under the circumstances. Just glad that there is only material damage.

I saw this in a newspaper yesterday:

1490350124299.png
 

I ran away

A Rush of Blood to X&Y
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Life satisfaction peaking around 23 ?
Oh. Great prospects. :confused:
And only 58 more years to go until reaching the state of psychological well-being, yeeeeah !
 

antdrew

Never in a rush
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Joined
Dec 8, 2016
Messages
820
I quote only some of you but think all here have been talking about the same thing. Think this is part of life, some days we are in a good mood but some other days we're not, and that's allright. We don't have to be happy all the time. We must try to, but if we can't make it that's totally fine. Actually, life gives us more bad moments than good ones, so it's normal that sometimes we feel devastated. But we can do something about it. We should try to appreciate the good things we have, even if they seem insignificant. We have to appreciate every single beautiful detail of our lives. And when we pass through a tough moment, we must find the possitive side of it. Maybe a bad moment can make us stronger. Or maybe it can teach us something.

For example, someone I really cared about really disappointed me during the last months. I thought this person was caring and generous, but in the end this person turned to be just the opposite. I didn't expect that and I was really hurt, but I learnt something: maybe I should trust a little bit less on people. I tend to think everybody is nice, but that's not the truth, so now I know I have to be prepaired to this kind of disappointments...

As I've said, I'm still trying to bring back the light to my life, but despite all the bad things, think I'm embracing the bright moments more than ever. A walk on the park, a conversation with an old friend, a CP random video... these little things now are more meaningful to me than before. And maybe that's the best thing we can do when everything seems to go wrong...

Hope you can find the light in your lives... :) And remember: when you're in pain, when you think you've had enough... don't ever give up!


PD: @I ran away really loved that Clocks version!
Yeah that's what I'm always trying to do and it does make me happy just looking at the smaller things :) But your trust in people is such an awesome quality trust me not many people can or do or like to open up to others readily. Idk I just feel like for me at least the connections I have sometimes with new people or strangers just for being open and too trusting are worth the times I get hurt from it.
 

guy42

Warm Player
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Joined
Feb 20, 2016
Messages
2,588
About things getting easier when you are getting older, I can confirm that.

Yesterday, I had a car accident, someone hit me from behind and then escaped (hit-and-run offence).
The 20 year old me would have panicked. But I'm pretty calm under the circumstances. Just glad that there is only material damage.

I saw this in a newspaper yesterday:

View attachment 6860
Oh great! At least I'm not expected to understand people's emotions just yet :)
 

karvi22

Coldplayer for life.
Coldplayer
Joined
Jun 11, 2016
Messages
933
Yesterday I saw that picture of a girl saying CP helped her to get through her depression and I was shocked. I was shocked because that girl could be perfectly me, or so many more people around the world... Coldplay give us so much love and peace that it's impossible to find the right words to describe that feeling. I thought it would be wonderful if they only knew how important they are for so many people...

Then today I read the story about Chris visiting a child in Manila who is sick of cancer and couldn't attend to the show because of that. It really moved me. it's something so beautiful and amazing that it even made me cry...

I write this because today I really had a bad day, and mostly because of people. Selfish people, mean people. People who make you feel insignificant. So I thought: why can't we have more things like Coldplay in the world? Why everything always has to be this hard? Why? Maybe there's no answer to that question... but maybe all we can do about it is to be more like Coldplay. Spread love and kindness is so easy... we should do it more often.

So while I was spending this awful day all I could think about was CP. How much I love to listen to their music. How they inspire me to be a better person. How I want to be like them. And now I'm listening to them and I've finally found peace today. As always.

Thanks Coldplay for lighting up my darkest days. And thanks Coldplaying for being the place where I can always go to find calm and happiness :)
 

coldplayisawesome

Maybe I'm a ghost
Coldplayer
Joined
Jul 27, 2006
Messages
28,521
Yesterday I saw that picture of a girl saying CP helped her to get through her depression and I was shocked. I was shocked because that girl could be perfectly me, or so many more people around the world... Coldplay give us so much love and peace that it's impossible to find the right words to describe that feeling. I thought it would be wonderful if they only knew how important they are for so many people...

Then today I read the story about Chris visiting a child in Manila who is sick of cancer and couldn't attend to the show because of that. It really moved me. it's something so beautiful and amazing that it even made me cry...

I write this because today I really had a bad day, and mostly because of people. Selfish people, mean people. People who make you feel insignificant. So I thought: why can't we have more things like Coldplay in the world? Why everything always has to be this hard? Why? Maybe there's no answer to that question... but maybe all we can do about it is to be more like Coldplay. Spread love and kindness is so easy... we should do it more often.

So while I was spending this awful day all I could think about was CP. How much I love to listen to their music. How they inspire me to be a better person. How I want to be like them. And now I'm listening to them and I've finally found peace today. As always.

Thanks Coldplay for lighting up my darkest days. And thanks Coldplaying for being the place where I can always go to find calm and happiness :)
to add to what you are saying, i think maybe sometimes the people who are selfish and mean like that are the people who need that love and kindness the most. we don't always know where other people are coming from, what they've been through to get to wherever they are now (lol do i sound like Chris or what). it's not necessarily an excuse, but certainly good to keep in mind. maybe those people don't realize how they are acting and if you act back with animosity it does no good for anyone. a little kindness goes a long way ;)
 

alisbe

We're diamonds taking shape
Coldplayer
Charity Donator
Joined
Mar 23, 2014
Messages
4,120
Yesterday I saw that picture of a girl saying CP helped her to get through her depression and I was shocked. I was shocked because that girl could be perfectly me, or so many more people around the world... Coldplay give us so much love and peace that it's impossible to find the right words to describe that feeling. I thought it would be wonderful if they only knew how important they are for so many people...

Then today I read the story about Chris visiting a child in Manila who is sick of cancer and couldn't attend to the show because of that. It really moved me. it's something so beautiful and amazing that it even made me cry...

I write this because today I really had a bad day, and mostly because of people. Selfish people, mean people. People who make you feel insignificant. So I thought: why can't we have more things like Coldplay in the world? Why everything always has to be this hard? Why? Maybe there's no answer to that question... but maybe all we can do about it is to be more like Coldplay. Spread love and kindness is so easy... we should do it more often.

So while I was spending this awful day all I could think about was CP. How much I love to listen to their music. How they inspire me to be a better person. How I want to be like them. And now I'm listening to them and I've finally found peace today. As always.

Thanks Coldplay for lighting up my darkest days. And thanks Coldplaying for being the place where I can always go to find calm and happiness :)
The same for me. There are days when only Coldplay and coldplayers give happiness to my life and I'm so thankful for that. If it weren't for them maybe I would only have darkness.
to add to what you are saying, i think maybe sometimes the people who are selfish and mean like that are the people who need that love and kindness the most. we don't always know where other people are coming from, what they've been through to get to wherever they are now (lol do i sound like Chris or what). it's not necessarily an excuse, but certainly good to keep in mind. maybe those people don't realize how they are acting and if you act back with animosity it does no good for anyone. a little kindness goes a long way ;)
This is true and sometimes I forget this. Everyone needs an opportunity and through love we can help.
 

I ran away

A Rush of Blood to X&Y
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Joined
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Messages
19,533
to add to what you are saying, i think maybe sometimes the people who are selfish and mean like that are the people who need that love and kindness the most. we don't always know where other people are coming from, what they've been through to get to wherever they are now (lol do i sound like Chris or what). it's not necessarily an excuse, but certainly good to keep in mind. maybe those people don't realize how they are acting and if you act back with animosity it does no good for anyone. a little kindness goes a long way ;)
1. You absolutely do sound like Chis :joy:
2. You are right in what you say
3. And I think that's what Chris means when
he sings "my heart is my gun"
 

iamsue

You're a Sky Full of Stars
Coldplayer
Joined
Apr 5, 2012
Messages
2,124
to add to what you are saying, i think maybe sometimes the people who are selfish and mean like that are the people who need that love and kindness the most. we don't always know where other people are coming from, what they've been through to get to wherever they are now (lol do i sound like Chris or what). it's not necessarily an excuse, but certainly good to keep in mind. maybe those people don't realize how they are acting and if you act back with animosity it does no good for anyone. a little kindness goes a long way ;)
True words of wisdom! To add, those people may be acting out the way they do because they don't have anyone like Coldplay or Coldplaying to turn to in their darkness.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

alicjanna

Whatcha say?
Coldplayer
Joined
Dec 9, 2015
Messages
628
Hi everyone, I want to get some things off my chest

I've been feeling like a complete mess lately. Some things have been worrying me for a long time but now they started "accumulating":

I have no idea what I want to do with my life.
I can't find my passion and I get bored with things quite easily.
Our maths teacher might take a year-long sick leave next year. He's the best teacher in our school and it makes me worry about my finals.

I am usually able to cope with these things, but now I overwhelmed with them and that situation:

I became very close friends with a girl from my class and she came out to me that she's fond of females (she's not sure if she's bi/homo romantic/sexual). I must say that she's the most wonderful person I've ever met. After some time I realised that I really love her but I wasn't sure if it was a romantic or non-romantic feeling (like for a family member or a friend). A few days ago she told me that she loves me and I did so too (neither of us said in what way but I guess she meant the romantic way). I've been thinking about my romantic/sexual identity a lot and I realised that even if I might feel attracted to women this feeling is much less stronger than the one I have for men so I can't imagine being in a long-term relationship with a female.
So now I'm terribly confused about what I should do. I guess she thinks that I'm homo/bi too. I can't see myself being with her but our relationship seems to be going that way and it looks like she has fallen for me.
I want to tell her about my thoughts but I'm afraid I'll hurt her. I top of it, she tends to be self-destructive (in a mental, not physical way) so she might blame it on herself. The only thing I want to do now is to be alone but I know that alienating myself is only going to worsen the whole situation and make her worry even more. I don't want to ruin our friendship.

I hope that what I wrote makes sense

Right now I feel like an embodiment of confusion
 

coldplayisawesome

Maybe I'm a ghost
Coldplayer
Joined
Jul 27, 2006
Messages
28,521
Hi everyone, I want to get some things off my chest

I've been feeling like a complete mess lately. Some things have been worrying me for a long time but now they started "accumulating":

I have no idea what I want to do with my life.
I can't find my passion and I get bored with things quite easily.
Our maths teacher might take a year-long sick leave next year. He's the best teacher in our school and it makes me worry about my finals.

I am usually able to cope with these things, but now I overwhelmed with them and that situation:

I became very close friends with a girl from my class and she came out to me that she's fond of females (she's not sure if she's bi/homo romantic/sexual). I must say that she's the most wonderful person I've ever met. After some time I realised that I really love her but I wasn't sure if it was a romantic or non-romantic feeling (like for a family member or a friend). A few days ago she told me that she loves me and I did so too (neither of us said in what way but I guess she meant the romantic way). I've been thinking about my romantic/sexual identity a lot and I realised that even if I might feel attracted to women this feeling is much less stronger than the one I have for men so I can't imagine being in a long-term relationship with a female.
So now I'm terribly confused about what I should do. I guess she thinks that I'm homo/bi too. I can't see myself being with her but our relationship seems to be going that way and it looks like she has fallen for me.
I want to tell her about my thoughts but I'm afraid I'll hurt her. I top of it, she tends to be self-destructive (in a mental, not physical way) so she might blame it on herself. The only thing I want to do now is to be alone but I know that alienating myself is only going to worsen the whole situation and make her worry even more. I don't want to ruin our friendship.

I hope that what I wrote makes sense

Right now I feel like an embodiment of confusion
wow, i can see why you're feeling overwhelmed, this is a lot to be going through at once! but i think the important thing is that you should not worry too much about the REST of your life. it's good to have a general plan, but getting too worried about the details will stress you out and "nothing ever turns out as you planned" anyway ;)

so if you feel like you don't know what you want to do with your life? you'll do many things with your life and that's OK. you don't have to pick one thing and settle for that. keep trying different things out and eventually you'll get an idea for what you want to do. and then probably that will change after some years and you'll start doing another thing. to me that seems perfectly normal.
and if it's figuring out what you want to do for school purposes, then i would say find something that you think would be really practical to have an education in, but that you could also tolerate studying for however long. in your free time, that's when you can experiment with learning different things - the internet is a great place for that. i think a lot of people don't end up LOVING what they do for a living, but instead use hobbies as an outlet for that passion :)

then, your situation with your friend... i know you say you don't want to hurt her, but the truth is that if she's going to be hurt it will happen whether or not you address it now. if you really don't have romantic feelings for her, it's not right to make her think that you do, and honestly it's not fair to her OR to you. relationships are about communication, no matter whether they're romantic or platonic. if you know you don't feel the same way about her or if you aren't sure how you feel then it's important for you to talk that through with her. be really open about it and let her know how confused you were/are. if she is also unsure of whether she's bi or gay, then i would think she should understand. but it also kinda sounds like you don't know for sure how she feels about you either? you might be right in your inference that her feelings are romantic, but neither of you were explicit about what you meant when you said you love each other, so it doesn't seem out of line for you to ask for clarification.
and it's unfortunate that she is self-destructive, but please don't let that hold you back from talking to her. you can't corner yourself or let her corner you into something you don't want just because it seems to be going that way and you don't want to stop it because you think you'll hurt her. again, that's not fair to either of you. and this might be hard to hear, but... if you talk to her about this and it does ruin your friendship, then clearly your friendship wasn't that strong to begin with.

i hope this helps at least a little bit and i'm sure the others will have good advice for you as well.
 

alisbe

We're diamonds taking shape
Coldplayer
Charity Donator
Joined
Mar 23, 2014
Messages
4,120
Hi everyone, I want to get some things off my chest

I've been feeling like a complete mess lately. Some things have been worrying me for a long time but now they started "accumulating":

I have no idea what I want to do with my life.
I can't find my passion and I get bored with things quite easily.
Our maths teacher might take a year-long sick leave next year. He's the best teacher in our school and it makes me worry about my finals.

I am usually able to cope with these things, but now I overwhelmed with them and that situation:

I became very close friends with a girl from my class and she came out to me that she's fond of females (she's not sure if she's bi/homo romantic/sexual). I must say that she's the most wonderful person I've ever met. After some time I realised that I really love her but I wasn't sure if it was a romantic or non-romantic feeling (like for a family member or a friend). A few days ago she told me that she loves me and I did so too (neither of us said in what way but I guess she meant the romantic way). I've been thinking about my romantic/sexual identity a lot and I realised that even if I might feel attracted to women this feeling is much less stronger than the one I have for men so I can't imagine being in a long-term relationship with a female.
So now I'm terribly confused about what I should do. I guess she thinks that I'm homo/bi too. I can't see myself being with her but our relationship seems to be going that way and it looks like she has fallen for me.
I want to tell her about my thoughts but I'm afraid I'll hurt her. I top of it, she tends to be self-destructive (in a mental, not physical way) so she might blame it on herself. The only thing I want to do now is to be alone but I know that alienating myself is only going to worsen the whole situation and make her worry even more. I don't want to ruin our friendship.

I hope that what I wrote makes sense

Right now I feel like an embodiment of confusion
First of all thank you so much for trusting on us.
About your teacher, take the best of your new teacher. Once a teacher told something like this "a student learn with the teacher, without the teacher and despite the teacher" (I hope this makes sense) she wasn't a good teacher but her words were true, if you want to learn you take advantage of all the tools you have around you and there's always the possibility to ask your teacher any questions you have at the end of the lesson.
Don't worry about your future it'll make things worse. You still have time to make a decision that will make you happy.Write a list of things you enjoy, read about them, look for the many possibilities you have in the feild you choose. Just remember that anything you choose should be something to make you feel happy.
About your friend, you have to tell her how you feel. I don't think there's another way to do it. Perhaps I'm not the right person to tell you what to do because I've been dealing with a situation in which I need to express my thoughts. But, I do recommend you to do it as soon as possible, if you don't do it it'll be harder later, I'm telling you that from my own experience.
I wish you the best
 

Nie

You're a Sky Full of Stars
Coldplayer
Charity Donator
Joined
Dec 8, 2014
Messages
8,119
I can only confirm what already has been said.
If you don't want to be with her as a couple and she believes that you do, talk to her and explain as soon as possible.
Waiting won't make it any easier.
I hope you still can be close friends.
 

I ran away

A Rush of Blood to X&Y
Coldplayer
Charity Donator
Joined
Apr 10, 2015
Messages
19,533
First of all a big hug to you, @alicjanna ! You are going through a lot and I can totally understand how you feel.

I second everything that @coldplayisawesome said, I believe her post really is the best possible advice. Your situation is very difficult, but in human relationships it is sometimes inevitable to either get hurt yourself or have to hurt someboy else's feelings. If you start a romantic relationship with her now just because you don't want to hurt or lose her, but are not physically attracted to her or women in general, it will have a bad basis and will end in heartbreak and even more hurt later. You have got to tell her now. As @Nie said, I hope you two find a way to makw it work as a normal friendship. This might be difficult though, don't wanna get your hopes up....
Hang in there !
 
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