Don't Let It Break Your Heart!

I ran away

A Rush of Blood to X&Y
Coldplayer
Charity Donator
Joined
Apr 10, 2015
Messages
20,331
I am tired of being anxious. I am tired of being insecure. I am tired of hating myself. I am tired of my personality when I'm anxious and insecure because I affect everyone around me. I have a great life overall but can't enjoy it. I wish I could have a normal mind.
I hear you and you are not alone with those feelings. Been going through similar stuff, and still am. Have you ever considered therapy ? It can be so helpful to talk those feelings through with a professional.

Another idea: I have recently taken up regular meditation with the help of an app, and I'm finding it helpful (it takes some weeks/months of practice for long-term effects to set in though). Meditation doesn't change the feelings you have, but it makes you view them in a different, more detached way and thus helps you not get caught up in them.

You don't have to go through life being scared of it. Remember that.
 

onlylove

Up&Up
Coldplayer
Joined
Nov 19, 2017
Messages
300
I hear you and you are not alone with those feelings. Been going through similar stuff, and still am. Have you ever considered therapy ? It can be so helpful to talk those feelings through with a professional.

Another idea: I have recently taken up regular meditation with the help of an app, and I'm finding it helpful (it takes some weeks/months of practice for long-term effects to set in though). Meditation doesn't change the feelings you have, but it makes you view them in a different, more detached way and thus helps you not get caught up in them.

You don't have to go through life being scared of it. Remember that.
Thank you. I've tried therapy and meditation with varying levels of success. Mostly it's me. I don't stick with it.

Yesterday was a rock bottom day. One of a few I've had in my life. Something happened which was a decent problem in the build up of problems and I blew my fuse. It's hard when you are anxious and overblown but also justified that a behavior is not acceptable.

Also, I'm tired of apologizing for who I am. I will work to be better but the other side must too.

Then it was good for a day. Then another fight.

I hate it.
 

I ran away

A Rush of Blood to X&Y
Coldplayer
Charity Donator
Joined
Apr 10, 2015
Messages
20,331
Thank you. I've tried therapy and meditation with varying levels of success. Mostly it's me. I don't stick with it.

Yesterday was a rock bottom day. One of a few I've had in my life. Something happened which was a decent problem in the build up of problems and I blew my fuse. It's hard when you are anxious and overblown but also justified that a behavior is not acceptable.

Also, I'm tired of apologizing for who I am. I will work to be better but the other side must too.

Then it was good for a day. Then another fight.

I hate it.
Don't be too hard on yourself. One thing I learnt in therapy (and which I still find hard to accept, but one has to) is that just because you may "explode" sometimes and don't, by your own standards, live up to your best behaviour, that doesn't make you a bad person.
 
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