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Worst Coldplay Songs Ever!

The Jordanator

Swim a river out to the sea
Coldplayer
Joined
Dec 11, 2017
Messages
429
Yes yes and yes also Something Just Like This, Hymn For The Weekend and Princess Of China are up there as being some of the best songs that Coldplay has done IMHO.

Go buy a gun and start a war
 

Green Cap Man

COLDPLAY - PORTUGAL
Coldplayer
Joined
Nov 4, 2014
Messages
629
Oh boy this is a controversial thread! I'm now going to stoke the fire a little bit...
I'll go album by album.

Parachutes- There's nothing I dislike strongly enough to mention, but it isn't my favourite album.

AROBTTH- Absolutely perfect, and I'll hear no different.

X and Y- Speed of Sound has always bugged me. Far too similar to Clocks and just feels lazy (apart from Jonny's guitar- I have a soft spot for that)
The Hardest Part- I honestly can't give a reason for disliking it, it just doesn't sit well with me melodically. Maybe it's a bit jarring at times?

That said, I really don't understand why this is the album the guys can't stand considering some of the stuff that is now described by Chris as 'the best stuff they've ever written' more recently...

Viva- Like Parachutes, there's nothing I feel strongly negative about on this one. Maybe 'Yes' is a bit weaker than the rest of the album but it's still very listenable!

MX- So this is the era where I first got into Coldplay (which led me back to the older stuff which I now prefer!) so I'm not as negative about it as I see some people are! That said, Princess of China always gets a skip when I'm listening to the album. Just a bit too synth-y for my liking! (Saw somebody earlier in the thread call UFO 'pointless'- what an absolutely disgraceful opinion ;) A beautiful song!)

Ghost Stories- Initially thought I didn't like the album at all, and really didn't enjoy Midnight and Another's Arms. Listening back, however, the whole album has grown on me massively. True Love, however, is pretty dreadful.

AHFOD- I bloody love this album. There, I said it. I could listen through it again and again and have no problems (as long as I skip to the next track as soon as Army of One has finished- X Marks the Spot can remain secret. Awful.) My main problem with this album, though, is the lyrics and Chris' diction. Most of the time I have no idea what he's actually singing (see- Birds), and a lot of the time the lyrics seem a lot more childish compared to some of the amazing stuff that came before, mainly on VLV (lyrically, I mean).

Others- Miracles (Someone Special) is absolutely horrendous. I love it musically, and the chorus chords/melody are absolutely brilliant, but the lyrics are the worst that Chris has written by a long way. Awful grammar, random references to famous 'good guys' and just cheese to the max. I wish the words were better, because it could so easily be one of my favourites.

Aliens- I just can't agree with the track at all. I can see why some people would love it but I just can't make sense of it.

Gravity- This is the worst Coldplay song because of how it was treated. Should have been on an album. I bloody love it.
When I read the first words of your Gravity review I was so close of losing my sh*t, but then I read the rest of your sentence :D

Anyway, I liked the way you did this, so I'm also making my review of Coldplay's discography worst songs:

EARLY YEARS
  • Only Superstition: It's a listenable song. But that's it. Nothing much to add.
  • Easy to Please: I really don't like the background sounds in this song, but must admit that gives a characteristic sound to it. This song's problem is the fact that it's too slow for me
'PARACHUTES' ERA
  • For You: It really hurts me to put this song here. I liked it some years ago, but now... It just doesn't flow on me. I have to skip it. (I like the drums in this song).
'A RUSH OF BLOOD TO THE HEAD' ERA
  • A Whisper: I just feel like it's 4 minutes of the same rhythm and the same lyrics. I don't like it.
  • 1.36: It's just not a good song. It's average.
  • I Bloom Blaum: trying not to sleep while listening to it.
'X&Y' ERA
  • What If: I have no reason to dislike this song. I guess it just doesn't fit into my head. It's a good song if you just discovered it. But I got "tired" of it after listening a couple times.
  • Sleeping Sun: It's just not good melodically speaking.
'VIVA LA VIDA' ERA
  • Lost!: Never liked this song. Every single version of it.
  • Rainy Day: The beginning of this song sounds to me like a ringtone. The lyrics are not that good to, imo.
'MYLO XYLOTO' ERA
  • Don't Let It Break Your Heart: Name one time you didn't jumped freaking scared by the way this song starts when you're playing in shuffle. You can't. I can't find in this song anything new that can be considered an important addition to MX. It's just a song, sitting there. Still good, but pretty meaningless.
  • Princess of China: I just don't like it. Too much synths, too much repetitive lyrics, it's a classic pop song formula.
  • Moving to Mars: I don't really like Chris' vocals at the beginning and it's really too slow. Pretty good song after the first half of it
'GHOST STORIES' ERA
  • Another's Arms: I don't like the drums, I don't like the lyrics, I don't like that lady singing in the background. I like Chris' vocals in this and Jonny's guitar too (simple but good).
  • True Love: I just don't like the way this song was produced, the drums (very similar to Another's Arms) and the lyrics too. The music video is also one of the worst Coldplay videos out there...
  • Ink: I have mixed feelings on this one. Sometimes I love it, sometimes I hate it, sometimes I forget that it exists...
  • All Your Friends: It's just not a good song, imo.
'A HEAD FULL OF DREAMS' ERA
  • Fun: Chris and Tove Lo voices are like angels in this one. The lyrics are good enough. But the song itself, it's not that good.
  • Army of One: I don't like the beginning and the keyboards too. The lyrics aren't that good. It's a okay song.
  • X Marks the Spot: Trash.
  • A L I E N S: I liked this one a lot when it came out but gradually started getting sick of it. Maybe because of the repetitive drum loop.
  • Something Just Like This: I don't even consider this a Coldplay song. Collaborating with the Chainsmokers is the rock bottom Coldplay could ever go. The song is not good, the lyrics are bad. Maybe the only thing saving it from complete disaster is the small taste of Jonny's guitar by the end of the song. Still trash.
  • Miracles (Someone Special): Super bland lyrics and Big Sean (who the f*ck is he?) isn't doing anything there. Not a bad song, but not good either. It's "ok".
PM: Why so many people don't like "Yes"? It's a f*cking great song specially if you consider "Chinese Sleep Chant" as a part of "Yes". It's a mark in Coldplay's discography.
 

IcebatofvalikinRRBZ8

Ink>Everglow(Live)
Coldplayer
Joined
Oct 21, 2015
Messages
1,221
When I read the first words of your Gravity review I was so close of losing my sh*t, but then I read the rest of your sentence :D

Anyway, I liked the way you did this, so I'm also making my review of Coldplay's discography worst songs:

EARLY YEARS
  • Only Superstition: It's a listenable song. But that's it. Nothing much to add.
  • Easy to Please: I really don't like the background sounds in this song, but must admit that gives a characteristic sound to it. This song's problem is the fact that it's too slow for me
'PARACHUTES' ERA
  • For You: It really hurts me to put this song here. I liked it some years ago, but now... It just doesn't flow on me. I have to skip it. (I like the drums in this song).
'A RUSH OF BLOOD TO THE HEAD' ERA
  • A Whisper: I just feel like it's 4 minutes of the same rhythm and the same lyrics. I don't like it.
  • 1.36: It's just not a good song. It's average.
  • I Bloom Blaum: trying not to sleep while listening to it.
'X&Y' ERA
  • What If: I have no reason to dislike this song. I guess it just doesn't fit into my head. It's a good song if you just discovered it. But I got "tired" of it after listening a couple times.
  • Sleeping Sun: It's just not good melodically speaking.
'VIVA LA VIDA' ERA
  • Lost!: Never liked this song. Every single version of it.
  • Rainy Day: The beginning of this song sounds to me like a ringtone. The lyrics are not that good to, imo.
'MYLO XYLOTO' ERA
  • Don't Let It Break Your Heart: Name one time you didn't jumped freaking scared by the way this song starts when you're playing in shuffle. You can't. I can't find in this song anything new that can be considered an important addition to MX. It's just a song, sitting there. Still good, but pretty meaningless.
  • Princess of China: I just don't like it. Too much synths, too much repetitive lyrics, it's a classic pop song formula.
  • Moving to Mars: I don't really like Chris' vocals at the beginning and it's really too slow. Pretty good song after the first half of it
'GHOST STORIES' ERA
  • Another's Arms: I don't like the drums, I don't like the lyrics, I don't like that lady singing in the background. I like Chris' vocals in this and Jonny's guitar too (simple but good).
  • True Love: I just don't like the way this song was produced, the drums (very similar to Another's Arms) and the lyrics too. The music video is also one of the worst Coldplay videos out there...
  • Ink: I have mixed feelings on this one. Sometimes I love it, sometimes I hate it, sometimes I forget that it exists...
  • All Your Friends: It's just not a good song, imo.
'A HEAD FULL OF DREAMS' ERA
  • Fun: Chris and Tove Lo voices are like angels in this one. The lyrics are good enough. But the song itself, it's not that good.
  • Army of One: I don't like the beginning and the keyboards too. The lyrics aren't that good. It's a okay song.
  • X Marks the Spot: Trash.
  • A L I E N S: I liked this one a lot when it came out but gradually started getting sick of it. Maybe because of the repetitive drum loop.
  • Something Just Like This: I don't even consider this a Coldplay song. Collaborating with the Chainsmokers is the rock bottom Coldplay could ever go. The song is not good, the lyrics are bad. Maybe the only thing saving it from complete disaster is the small taste of Jonny's guitar by the end of the song. Still trash.
  • Miracles (Someone Special): Super bland lyrics and Big Sean (who the f*ck is he?) isn't doing anything there. Not a bad song, but not good either. It's "ok".
PM: Why so many people don't like "Yes"? It's a f*cking great song specially if you consider "Chinese Sleep Chant" as a part of "Yes". It's a mark in Coldplay's discography.
I don’t really care to lyrics to be honest. It’s all about the melody for me.
 

Carolina*

Up&Up
Coldplayer
Joined
Aug 10, 2017
Messages
425
Parachutes: Everything's Not Lost is a little repetitive but I do like the bassline. Never quite understood the hype around Don't Panic. Nothing terrible here.
AROBTTH: Amazing album except maybe Warning Sign or A Whisper
X&Y: My favorite album but I do agree with the negative reviews of it for one song: A Message. And I feel like I'm starting to like Fix You less and less.
VLVODAAHF: I don't understand what's so great about Death And All His Friends or Lovers in Japan (and I love Yes unpopular opinions)
MX: Okay album with some bad songs: U.F.O. (not terrible), Up in Flames, DLIBYH
Ghost Stories: Another's Arms is my least favorite Coldplay song. Enough said.
AHFOD: Everglow, Army of One, Up&Up. I feel like I'm liking Newplay less and less.
Now I feel weird after being so negative about Coldplay....
 

The Jordanator

Swim a river out to the sea
Coldplayer
Joined
Dec 11, 2017
Messages
429
Parachutes: Everything's Not Lost is a little repetitive but I do like the bassline. Never quite understood the hype around Don't Panic. Nothing terrible here.
AROBTTH: Amazing album except maybe Warning Sign or A Whisper
X&Y: My favorite album but I do agree with the negative reviews of it for one song: A Message. And I feel like I'm starting to like Fix You less and less.
VLVODAAHF: I don't understand what's so great about Death And All His Friends or Lovers in Japan (and I love Yes unpopular opinions)
MX: Okay album with some bad songs: U.F.O. (not terrible), Up in Flames, DLIBYH
Ghost Stories: Another's Arms is my least favorite Coldplay song. Enough said.
AHFOD: Everglow, Army of One, Up&Up. I feel like I'm liking Newplay less and less.
Now I feel weird after being so negative about Coldplay....
No dis on Fix you!

I do agree with you on A Message and Lovers in Japan, I don’t really understand the appeal to these, although they are listenable
 
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