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Ondes Martenot

The 50 Worst Things Ever to Happen to Music

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5. Ecstasy

As if convincing countless innocents to spend nights crushed into dilapidated warehouses, waving glowsticks and bouncing along to the same monotonous groove wasn’t bad enough, ecstasy also taught a generation of dance-music auteurs that songwriting was as easy as looping a beat, then taking a nap.

 

4. Neverland Ranch

It’s not as though everything was hunky-dory for MJ before he moved here. But somehow, the star’s retreat into a llama-stocked, Ferris-wheel-equipped, 2,600-acre Southern California funny farm in 1988 didn’t help his psyche. Wacko Jacko may since have emerged from his rustic Xanadu — dangling a baby off a balcony here, facing child-molestation charges there — and moved to Bahrain, but the great pop star he used to be has been lost forever in this multimillion-dollar shrine to childhood.

 

3. “The Star-spangled banner”

Here’s an idea: Let’s have the theme song for the world’s biggest and most diverse democracy be: 1) boring; 2) violently militaristic; and 3) next to impossible to sing. Not enough? OK, now let’s bring in Roseanne Barr to perform. She’s too busy? Get me William Hung!

 

2. Suge Knight

Here’s some advice: If Suge Knight offers to bail you out of jail, wait for a better offer. After doing this for Tupac Shakur, the bullying head of Death Row records molded a talented 24-year-old rapper into a doomed gangsta cartoon, fanned a preposterous coastal rap feud (fuck the Bering Strait, too, while we’re at it!) and steered his young star on a confrontational course that ended in a bullet-riddled BMW 750. Whether or not Biggie Smalls’s subsequent murder was related, Knight drafted a tragedy hip-hop never got over.

 

1. Kids Today!

Back in our day, we didn’t have any of yer fancy iPods and ringtones and downloads. We didn’t have the luxury and convenience of your scrotum-rings and your World Wide Web logs. When we wanted to steal the new Uriah Heep album, we couldn’t just troll the Internets for it, we had to do it the old-fashioned way — by hiking to the store (uphill, both ways) and shoving 12” of vinyl under our sweaters (which we had to knit ourselves). That’s why you sniveling whipper-snappers don’t appreciate the real value of music. Or Uriah Heep. Now get the hell off our lawn!

 

full list:

http://www.blender.com/guide/articles.aspx?id=1913

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I think Billy Ray Cyrus - Achy Breaky Heart was pretty uncalled for, I blame all Americans for that.

 

Vanilla Ice would be second on the list too.

 

 

 

 

(Word to your mother)

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Wow. This list is absolutely idiotic.

 

39. AIDS

Although it was responsible for many deaths (Freddie Mercury and Eazy-E among them) and inspired one of the most insipid hits in the past three decades (“That’s What Friends Are For”), the most significant musical damage done by the AIDS virus came with the subsequent demonization of sex and drugs, two ingredients without which rock & roll become practically pointless — if not impossible.

 

 

 

 

How not funny. Idiots. *shakes head*

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you can't put tatu in the same grouping as indigo girls and melissa etheridge wtf. i agree with 42, 28, 24, 22, and 12. number one should be music magazines.

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Yeah, number one should be people thinking that their soap box entitles them to speaking for "everyone". :nice:

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When it got merchandised. I cannot stop quoting Nietzsche now:

 

"Only sick, music makes money today"

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what i don't understand is in their other poll "50 worst artists ever" they put Emerson, Lake, and Palmer as number 2. What the hell were they thinking?!

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39. AIDS

Although it was responsible for many deaths (Freddie Mercury and Eazy-E among them) and inspired one of the most insipid hits in the past three decades (“That’s What Friends Are For”), the most significant musical damage done by the AIDS virus came with the subsequent demonization of sex and drugs, two ingredients without which rock & roll become practically pointless — if not impossible.

 

I think the listmaker just told me I should be able to share needles and bang a dozen male prostitutes. :shocked2:

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