Chris Martin To Write A Song About Tits

Coldplay frontman Chris Martin has delighted his army of fans by confirming he is to write a song all about tits.

The internet has been buzzing with rumours of a Coldplay tits anthem after Martin’s brief holiday with David Coverdale from Whitesnake. Seasoned Coldplay observers were last night speculating on the lyrical content of the new song.

Jeremiah Johnson, Coldplay editor of the Sunday Telegraph, said: “He’ll probably call it ‘Tits’ or, if he’s feeling playful, ‘Titties’. There is absolutely no chance that he would call it ‘Knockers’. That’s just not Chris Martin.”

But Roy Hobbs, the Daily Mail’s Coldplay editor, insisted: “I think it will be called ‘Breasts’ or maybe even ‘Gazongas’ with a really uplifting chorus about how, in Chris’s opinion, tits are fantastic.”

Martin is determined to answer critics who said he could never fulfill his potential as a musician until he had penned at least one classic song about tits. Expectations were high that X&Y, the band’s all-conquering 2005 release, would be largely about tits, but instead it was about feeling awkward and unhappy about a diverse range of issues.

Source: DailyMash