Coldplay And Crouch: The Robo Bop

'Get up off your sofa, get up off your couch, stop what you’re doing, and do the Crouch, dooby-doo-wah-wah.” Don’t despair (well, actually do). It’s not the latest in the longest line of crap football anthems to make your ears bleed. Rather, it’s the chorus of the hell that Coldplay are proposing to unleash on the nation should England win the World Cup.

Presumably it’s to quell the rampant euphoria that will grip us all should Sven’s men end 40-years of hurt.

Chris Martin made the threat after screwing up a version of Lou Reed’s ‘Perfect Day’ at the Isle of White festival. Lounging around on stage, the curly-haired crooner claimed that his ode to Crouch would be the band's first number one.

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