SOMEWHERE IN THE VAST EMPTINESS OF CANADA -- Canadian rock musician Neil Young announced today that Coldplay lead singer Chris Martin was "the worst rock singer ever."
"The guy can't carry a tune," said famous caterwauler Young. "Have you ever heard a live Coldplay recording? Listening to his voice is like listening to a frightened cat trying to escape a pit bull by clawing its way up a chalkboard."
Young made his shocking statement while being interviewed on a Canadian public radio program no one listens to. The interview took place two years ago and only came to light this week when a bored Toronto Coldplay fan Googled "Chris Martin Canada" in hope that the singer was touring the country on his own.
"I was like, 'who the hell's Neil Young?'" said 23-year-old Wendy Schlatt. "Then I Googled him and I was like, 'Oh, it's that dude that looks like a scarecrow and can't sing.' And then I was like, 'Man, that screecher dissin' Chris is like when that Jimmy Carter guy was talkin' trash 'bout that Bush dude. Like, wasn't Carter the worst American president, like, ever?"
In related news, Al Gore today called John Kerry a pompous ass.
Source: http://gunsnbutter.typepad.com
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