No Jacket Required: Biographies Provide Quick Lessons

Think you know it all about Korn, System of a Down and The Cure?

A new series of unauthorized biographies produced by Locomotive Records gives fans a new look at the bands they grew up with, bands that continue to dominate the modern rock charts nearly two decades or more after each formed.

Steal, the biography of Korn, Dehumanize, the biography of System of a Down, and Lost in the Labyrinth, the biography of The Cure, include more than 40 minutes of interviews with the bands, exclusive film footage and ruminations on the musicians by those who know them best.

Don't get too excited. You can't have your cake and eat it too, especially when the DVD documentaries are not authorized by the bands or their record labels.

Thus, you won't hear any original music from the Korn, System of a Down or The Cure on the biographies. The soundtrack for each is not bad, but not something one would expect to hear on a biography from three bands that, in their own unique way, helped forge new paths for rock musicians in their wake.

The one thing that almost makes each DVD unbearable is the snotty, British narrator who incessantly drops hate on American culture - "Churches are more popular than burger bars. And, in America, that's saying something," she spews on the unauthorized biography of Korn.

The line is part of a detailed description of Bakersfield, Calif., where the rap-rock quintet - recently reduced to a quartet in 2005 when guitarist Brian "Head" Johnson left the band after discovering Christianity - grew up, formed and launched its historic career.

The narrator's arrogant ramblings initially scrape at hypersensitive nerves like a cinder block slid down an exposed shin - excruciatingly painful and pointless. Still, she eventually fades into the soundtrack, drowned out by informative interviews with individual band members and behind-the-scenes footage that grants fans a better understanding of the groups and music they have grown to know and love.

Korn, System of a Down and The Cure are not the only three bands receiving this unwarranted exposure. Others on tap scheduled for release in coming months include Bon Jovi, Dave Matthews Band, Madonna, Coldplay, Nickelback, The Strokes, The White Stripes and Slipknot.

Previous unauthorized biographies released by Spain-based Locomotive Records included retrospectives on Metallica, Green Day, U2 and Eminem. Those releases and the ones on tap for 2006 are fodder for fans who just can't get enough of their favorite bands.

For those of you with a casual interest in any of these groups, do yourself a real favor. Keep your wallet in your pocket. Borrow the discs from a friend.

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