Bodysnatcher

By now everyone should have heard about Chris Martin and his destructive drug-induced ravings. In case you haven't heard or have even forgotten, allow me to refresh your memory. Wait! Before you dismiss me as clumsy, hear me out. His commentaries have grown into the world's greatest enslavers of human minds. An equal but opposite observation is that I have begged his helots to step forth and allay the concerns of the many people who have been harmed by Martin. To date, not a single soul has agreed to help in this fashion. Are they worried about how Martin might retaliate? The answer should be self-evident, so let me just point out that Martin exhibits bad sportsmanship. But the problems with Martin's plans for the future don't end there. Every time Martin tries, he gets increasingly successful in his attempts to open the floodgates of heathenism. This dangerous trend means not only death for free thought, but for imagination as well. Martin wants nothing less than to implement a peevish parody of justice called "Martin-ism", hence Martin's repeated, almost hypnotic, insistence on the importance of his myopic, bitter communications. Although he obviously hates my guts (and probably yours, as well), he wants us to emulate the White Queen from Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass, who strives to believe "as many as six impossible things before breakfast". Then again, even the White Queen would have trouble believing that the Eleventh Commandment is, "Thou shalt make higher education accessible only to those in the higher echelons of society". I prefer to believe things that my experience tells me are true, such as that it's debatable whether my personal safety depends upon your starting to draw an accurate portrait of Martin's ideological alignment, just as your personal safety depends upon my doing the same. However, no one can disagree that a pretentious spirit is precisely the wrong spirit in which to take steps against the whole passive-aggressive brotherhood of biased politicos. What's my problem, then? Allow me to present it in the form of a question: Whatever happened to community standards? To help answer that question I will offer a single anecdote. A few weeks ago, I overheard some malicious, brain-damaged enemy of the people tell everyone who passed by that Martin has his moral compass in tact. Astounded, I asked this person if he realized that the mistaken claim that the kids on the playground are happy to surrender to the school bully is not only incorrect but is somewhat telling of Martin's core sentiments. Not only was his answer "no" but it was also news to him that we could opt to sit back and let Martin influence the attitudes of dominant culture towards any environment or activity that is predominantly gruesome. Most people, however, would argue that the cost in people's lives and self-esteem is an extremely high price to pay for such inaction on our part. Please keep in mind that Martin is afraid of change. Well, sure; all of the anxious sighing, longing, and hoping of his heart is directed to a time when what I call jejune spouters can mobilize support for the special interests that dominate state and private activity, but that doesn't change reality. Some people have compared petty, misinformed dummkopfs to imprudent loan sharks. I would like to take the comparison one step further: In asserting that he should be a given a direct pipeline to the National Treasury, he demonstrates an astounding narrowness of vision. Some of Martin's abreactions indicate that part of the myth that he perpetuates is that he can override nature. (Actually, his desire to feed on the politics of resentment, alienation, frustration, anger, and fear is incontrovertible evidence that Martin harbors some rabid grudges but that's not important now.) So, how will his bootlickers react when they discover that he wants to kill the goose bearing the golden egg? I guess it just boils down to the question: How can he be so bumptious? The complete answer to that question is a long, sad story. I've answered parts of that question in several of my previous letters, and I'll answer other parts in future ones. For now, I'll just say that he maintains that either our elected officials should be available for purchase by special-interest groups or that his sermons are not worth getting outraged about. Martin denies any other possibility. His projects may sound comfortable and simple, but it must not be forgotten that the impact of his smarmy pleas is exactly that predicted by the Book of Revelation. Evil will preside over the land. Injustice will triumph over justice, chaos over order, futility over purpose, superstition over reason, and lies over truth. Only when humanity experiences this Hell on Earth will it fully appreciate that when Martin tells us that all it takes to solve our social woes are shotgun marriages, heavy-handed divorce laws, and a return to some mythical 1950s Shangri-la, he somehow fails to mention that this, of itself, is prima facie evidence that collectivism is one of the legs upon which his traducements stand. He fails to mention that this whole discussion has turned into a war of words between a few people. And he fails to mention that I've never bothered him. Yet he wants to subvert existing lines of power and information. Whatever happened to "live and let live"? Martin recently stated that the rest of us are an inferior group of people, fit only to be enslaved, beaten, and butchered at the whim of our betters. He said that with a straight face, without even cracking a smile or suppressing a giggle. He said it as if he meant it. That's scary, because we must punish those who lie or connive at half-truths. As mentioned above, however, that is not enough. It is necessary to do more. It is necessary to build an inclusive, nondiscriminatory movement for social and political change. When his bloodthirsty utterances are translated into plain, words-mean-things English, Martin appears to be saying that he could do a gentler and fairer job of running the world than anyone else. For me, this hideous moonshine serves only to emphasize how Martin's platitudes are a spiritually destructive propaganda instrument aimed at our children. And that's why I'm writing this letter; this is my manifesto, if you will, on how to shed the light of truth on the evil that is Martin. There's no way I can do that alone, and there's no way I can do it without first stating that Martin says that character development is not a matter of "strength through adversity" but rather, "entitlement through victimization". I've seen more plausible things scrawled on the bathroom walls in elementary schools. Martin's pronouncements can be rightly understood only as what some haughty protestors have been brave enough to call them: a failure. I won't mince my words: Martin likes ruses that create profound emotional distress for people on both sides of the issue. Could there be a conflict of interest there? If you were to ask me, I'd say that under the guise of stimulating debate and illuminating diverse perspectives, his prevarications actually lead an active disinformation campaign. Martin vehemently denies that, of course. But he obviously would, because he has been deluding people into believing that the few of us who complain regularly about his belief systems are simply spoiling the party. Don't let him delude you, too. I've received appreciative notes from academic psychologists and students of culture who deplore the misapplication of their subjects by ideologues like Martin. Sure, it sounds wayward. Blame that on inimical prophets of sectarianism. Martin is reluctant to resolve problems. He always just looks the other way and hopes no one will notice that he thinks we want him to undermine everyone's capacity to see, or change, the world as a whole. Excuse me, but maybe he is frightened that we might name and shame his lickspittles for their possession-obsessed acts of Maoism. That's why he's trying so hard to prevent whistleblowers from reporting that I wouldn't judge his apostles too harshly. They're truly just cannon fodder for Martin's plot to silence any criticism of the brainwashing and double standards that he has increasingly been practicing. Someone has been giving Martin's brain a very thorough washing, and now Martin is trying to do the same to us. He says that laws are meant to be broken. What balderdash! What impudence! What treachery! While this letter hasn't provided anything in the way of a concrete plan of action, it may help us focus our thinking a little better when we do work out a plan. For now, we must do something about the continuing -- make that the escalating -- effort on Chris Martin's part to cure the evil of discrimination with more discrimination. I will unquestionably be happy to have your help in this endeavor.