MaxRide

Oh, believe me, when I'm not online, I generally try to avoid attention..I certainly don't welcome it. I'm what you'd call an extreme introvert. I "get attention" online, for the most part, because I generally try to add to conversations in a helpful/positive way. If that attention suddenly disappeared, I wouldn't be overly upset.

HINT Honestly, I'm not trying to be some kind of attention-seeker. I genuinely had a problem in deciding when/how to come out to my parents. Do I really seem like I want attention so badly?

Oh, okay. That makes more sense. :P Well, essentially, I just want my parents to know, and to have them be more aware of non-binary people in general. I don't really expect them to fully understand, but as long as they address me correctly, I won't mind very much. :shrug: :facepalm: Even before I knew about the term genderqueer, I never really felt like a "female." I mean, I didn't really think about it often (maybe once a year, before this year), but I clearly remember saying that I didn't really "feel like a girl" to my mom a few months after I hit puberty. The development of gender roles in society is actually fairly recent (for example, many Native American cultures recognize "two-spirit" people, which I really have no idea how to explain, sooo...). Even if I lived in a society were gender roles were not as heavily emphasized (or possibly not emphasized at all), I still would not feel connected to 'femininity' in the slightest. All I want is for people to use the correct pronouns; is that really too much to ask? I don't want to be seen as "different," I want to be seen as a normal human. I don't care what else you say, but it is absolutely not ridiculous to be genderqueer. Reilly, I know that you might feel like some genderqueer people are hypocrites, but how would you really know, as a [i presume] cisgender person? /rant No offense taken. :nice: I personally experience neither romantic nor sexual attraction. However, there are quite a few asexual people do, in fact, experience romantic attraction. There is actually a married couple that I have read about: both the husband and wife are asexual, but are obviously not aromantic. Now, romantic attraction is almost as complicated as sexual attraction and gender, and I really have no idea how to explain the difference between romantic and sexual attraction, since I just sort of know that I don't experience either. :P

No problem! :nice:

Don't feel silly! Trust me, I didn't even fully understand gender until this summer...and I still don't completely. Gender is freaking complicated. (oh, just to make this clear: genderqueer = not exclusively/at all (fe)male) 1) There are, in fact, so many ways to refer to genderqueer people that it's pretty hard for me to list them all. I'll just leave this list here (and yes, I know this is VERY LONG) there are so many neutral pronouns Basically, I [and many other genderqueer/neutrois/otherwise outside the binary] find that most people are used to using "they" already, so it's the easiest pronoun to use. As evidenced by the list, though, different people have different preferences. Some people do actually use 'it' as their pronoun, though I haven't seen common usage. 2) Well, some genderqueer people do decide to change their name to a more "neutral" name (Mich, for example). However, there are plenty of people who do not; for example, there's a blogger by the name of Jillian who doesn't want to change their name, even though it is commonly regarded by society as feminine. I'm not exactly sure about the "average" of how many neutrois people want to change their name and those that do not, though. :shrug: [side note: don't ask me why, but there seem to be a heck of a lot of neutrois/genderless-identifying people who were female assigned at birth [this is getting into specifics, which I can go into more detail if you want me to], and not so many male assigned at birth neutrois/genderless people] As for me, Anna is actually used as a male name in the Frisian language (which is apparently used in Germany and the Netherlands). I have thought about going by A.J. in my close family, since the two letters are just my first and middle initials, but I felt a bit disconnected from my identity when I tried identifying myself that way. So, for now, Anna it is. [another side note: though society "gives" names and clothes (which I know you didn't bring up, but I feel is necessary to mention) gender, clothes and names do not inherently have gender. I personally feel uncomfortable wearing overtly "feminine" clothes, but I could care less about my name's "inherent gender," so to speak) woooo long post

^ I'll probably do it right before dinner, then. :shrug: In any case, FRIDAY EVENING YEAH~ I don't even know what my dad thinks of gender and sexuality issues; I know my mom doesn't really care (she actually told me on Sunday that she wouldn't have been surprised if I had come out to her as lesbian instead of asexual. :wtf: but :lol:), but I don't know about my dad. I mean, sexuality, he knows about (and is pretty comfortable discussing), but gender...I'm not so sure. It's alright, Violet, ask away! :nice: It's great that you want to know more.

~gender and sexuality 101~

^ Oh, it can happen. For instance, there are actually a relatively large amount of asexual people who have [consensual, obviously] sex in order to make their [sexual] significant other feel more satisfied. (also, sex drive /=/ sexual attraction] This pretty much applies only for those asexuals who experience romantic attraction (which I have no idea how to explain), though...aromantic and asexual people rarely have that type of relationship. :shrug:

yay genderqueer! :awesome: Well, my dad didn't even read the letter, and my mom doesn't really understand asexuality very well, so I probably won't be doing that again. :P Oh, yeah: I need help with metaphors. I'm terrible at explaining things, but I love using metaphors. Metaphors would be nice. :nod: I just wanted to say something: just because an asexual person doesn't experience sexual attraction doesn't mean that they are celibate. Asexual people are still able to have sex [most of the time, anyway]. :wink: Again, everyone, you are SO HELPFUL AWW :hug: At this point, I just need more concrete advice. like, I don't know, a speech or something

You should probably say sexuality rather than condition...I mean, it doesn't personally offend me, but I'd be careful about using correct terminology around others. :wink: As for being repulsed, well, I'm not really one of those asexuals. I mean, granted, I find sex/romance in general to be really weird/occasionally disgusting, but I'm not hostile about it (at least I like to think that I'm not). Heck, if anything, I have an overly perverted mind. :lol:

aww I don't have courage at all, I just feel more comfortable on the internet :blush: I was actually planning to tell them during dinner on Friday night, so that idea is spot-on! :thumbsup: I just have to tell my youngest half-brother [who is 27] and his fiance before this Saturday, since...well, they're having an engagement dinner/party, and I don't exactly want to be a flower girl or anything. :uhoh2: I've actually kind of known that I wasn't attracted to anyone for a really long time, I just didn't have a word for it. My gender issues are more recent.

Oh, I don't even see "that person is pretty looking." i am blind. :P This is a terrible way to explain it (and I really am not trying to be offensive, honestly, I just can't come up with a better example :embarrassed:), but this is what I see when looking at people: "normal-looking" = what most people see as extraordinarily pretty "almost normal-looking" = the majority of human beings (including myself, but really, most people that I've seen in my area fall into this "category:) and then, in gradients, all the way down to "this person looks absolutely ugly" [when it is not related to injury/illness/genetic conditions like Down Syndrome] ...I probably just came off as a terribly rude person, but honest to god, I don't know how else to say it. :uhoh2:

Well, in a way, it's invalidating my/other people's identity, by, essentially, saying that the identity doesn't exist. (bisexuality is probably a good example of this: a lot of people, believe it or not, don't think that it exists) (I know that you weren't trying to offend me, Emma :kiss:) :shrug: I've spent waaay too much of my time researching non-binary genders, so I'm sorry in advance if I become too specific.

*just wanted to point out that there are six year olds who know that they're gay..and label themselves* I will admit, it has taken me a while to realize what my gender identity, but I'm pretty confident with it at this point. (and to all the other people who have posted in this thread...I haven't gotten around to mentioning/replying to you all, but THANK YOU ALL *giant hugs for everyone*)

This is actually kind of incorrect...almost, but not quite. Hank says it a lot better than I do: [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXAoG8vAyzI&noredirect=1]Human Sexuality is Complicated... - YouTube[/ame]

Yeah...I really hate how heavily people are divided into gender roles. bad society. :snobby: In terms of my asexuality, I just...sort of know. I mean, I don't even see anyone as visually attractive (for lack of a better way to put it, I can identify the qualities that people see as "attractive," but I, myself, am not attracted to them), let alone romantically [aromantic] or sexually. Also, the whole "being too young to know" thing is potentially offensive; it's almost [but not exactly, for obvious reasons] like saying to a gay person, "oh, you're too young to know that you're gay." Trust me, I know. :P

:facepalm: I may be [relatively] young, but I know who I am. Heck, I've known that I've been asexual for almost a year now; I just learned of the term that fit me best in terms of gender more recently (though I've never really "fit in" in terms of either binary gender).

Well, no, to the first part; in terms of gender, that's androgynous (or bigender/genderfluid..I have no idea, I'm not either :P), and in terms of biological sex, that would be intersex. Your latter guess is pretty much spot-on. :nod: I kind of can't decide if I'm a neutral gender, or if I'm genderless (though I'm leaning much more heavily towards the former), but I'm definitely not female or male in terms of gender.

^ By "problem," I meant the issue of how to come out. :P I'm perfectly comfortable with my gender/[lack of]sexuality. -I don't have much time to respond to things at the moment (I'll reply to a few things later), but thank you, lovely people! :nice:

The thing is, I wrote the note about five months ago, and my mom has a pretty terrible memory. (I mean, she remembers that I'm asexual, but that's about it) :uhoh2:

Essentially, yes. Well, I actually wrote out a letter to both of my parents explaining the asexual/aromantic thing (and put the letter in front of their bedroom door), but after my mom looked at the letter, she took it away from the door and buried it somewhere...so basically, my dad never read it. At least, not as far as I know.

(before I say anything, I am not trying to be some kind of "special snowflake." I cannot control these parts of my identity in any way) Well, first, a preface to the problem: A lot of you reading this probably know that I'm asexual and aromantic already, but for those who don't: I don't experience romantic or sexual attraction at all. ("lol you're cold and you don't have a soul" no :|) However, in the past few weeks, I've also figured out that I'm neutrois. This is really difficult for me to explain [look up "genderqueer" if you're curious], but, essentially, it means that I don't identify with either male or female genders. Instead, I identify as a neutral gender. [i'm still (BIRTH NAME REDACTED IN RETROSPECT), by the way; just use a singular "they/them" from now on :nice:] Now, my actual problem: I'm planning to come out to my parents as soon as possible. My mom already knows that I'm asexual and aromantic, though my dad doesn't, but neither of them know that I'm a gender other than male or female. I know that most of you reading this are, most likely, cisgender [as in, "I was born as a [fe]male, and I am comfortable as being seen as a [fe]male"], but if anyone could help me in any way, I would be grateful. (Also, if you have any questions, feel free to ask me) wow that was lousy but here goes anyway *posts thread* EDIT: Well, this sort of morphed into a "ask about gender neutral people" thread, so ASK AWAY~ (also, as my GSA says, "all questions are welcome, but not all statements are")

I was actually just using Stephen Hawking as an example; I couldn't think of any physically talented people off the top of my head. shows how much I care about sports I am aware of the different types of personalities, though. I actually try to avoid praising myself frequently, to be honest, even though it may not appear to be that way. I mean, I do internally, but let's be honest, who doesn't praise themselves internally once in a while? I will admit that I seem rather boastful online, and I do need to work on improving that. However, I actually tend to downplay my abilities in real life (example: "You're really good at drawing!" "Nah, there are people at this school who are better at drawing than I am/my mom is so much better than I am."). Believe me, I'm trying to eliminate the bragging part of my personality as much as I possibly can. As for friends, well...I don't actually want any more all that badly. :| I already have two great IRL friends (three if you count Taameen as an IRL friend, since I physically met her), and I have around five relatively close online friends yes that includes you Dee :hug:. I know this sounds extremelyselfish/apathetic, but if my friends were to suddenly disappear off the face of the Earth, I wouldn't mind too much. Of course, I wouldn't exactly be happy, but I would carry on with my life, and I probably wouldn't end up making any more friends. Heck, I haven't made any IRL friends since I was 10, and I'm just fine with that. why can't I write something in an informal tone jeez sorry I sound so rigid all the time As for happiness, well...*makes another thread*

^ this is completely true for me as well (aside from the mental condition thing...though I could have one :shrug:)

..just wanted to point that out. :P /kind of immature Oh, I'm not that witty. :blush: