Do people tell Newfie jokes all around the world or just in Canada?

You might be a Newfie Jedi if.....

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1.You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be witt ya by*'."

2. Your Jedi robe is made of seal skin.

3. You have ever used your light saber to quarter a moose.

4. Both wings of your X-Wing are done over with sheet metal and rivets and are covered with polybond.

5. You have ever eaten bottled Ewok.

6. You have ever used a land-speeder to get away from wildlife officers.

7. The best part of spending time on Dagobah is the great weather.

8. Even C3-PO cannot understand what you are saying.

9. You have used Jedi mind tricks to help you drag off someone from the Sundance (Bar on George Street) and Breezway (University Bar).

10. You have ever used the force to convince a Human Resources Canada officer to give you unemployment insurance checks.

11. Your father has ever said to you, "Come on by' son, come on over 'ere to the dark side and have a Black Horse (Newfoundland brewed beer) witt yer old man."

12. You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to scare off mosquitoes on May 24 weekend.

13. You have ever used the Millennium Falcon to smuggle booze and cigarettes from St. Pierre (Island belonging to France just of southern nf coast).

14. You have a Newfoundland dog painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

15. You think Andy Wells (St. John's mayor) and Brian Tobin (nf premier) are part of the dark side of the force.

16. You have ever fantasized about Danielle House wearing her hair like Princess Leia.+

17. You have a trailer hitch on the back of your land speeder for hauling your trailer to gravel pits.

18. Chewbacca is the lead of your dog sled team.

19. You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with snowmobile skis.

20. You were the only person drinking Newfie Screech during the cantina scene.

21. If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father ... tell me what the hell your mother's getting on with by'?!" *A by is a boy, as in, "I's the by that sails the boat".

+Danielle House was the very beautiful and very former Miss Canada, until she punched another woman in a bar.

This Newfie is going icefishing. He starts to drill a hole with

his auger when a loud booming voice says "THERE'S NO FISH DOWN THERE!"

So he stops drilling and moves a little ways and starts to drill again.

The same voice booms "THERE'S NO FISH DOWN THERE!".

So he moves a little further and is about to drill again, but the voice

immediately comes again "THERE"S NO FISH THERE EITHER!".

The Newf looks around and says "Who are you anyways? God?"

 

"NO I'M THE ARENA MANAGER!"

Oh wow...

 

can.

 

worms.

 

open. :stunned:

 

 

I think the Newfoundland ones are mainly a maritimes thing. The same jokes are used against other groups all over the place, but never in such a good natured way.

You might be a Newfie Jedi if.....

8. Even C3-PO cannot understand what you are saying.

 

.

 

 

haha nice one

Oh wow...

 

can.

 

worms.

 

open. :stunned:

 

 

I think the Newfoundland ones are mainly a maritimes thing. The same jokes are used against other groups all over the place, but never in such a good natured way.

 

I want to know what other groups are made fun of.

This Newfie is going icefishing. He starts to drill a hole with

his auger when a loud booming voice says "THERE'S NO FISH DOWN THERE!"

So he stops drilling and moves a little ways and starts to drill again.

The same voice booms "THERE'S NO FISH DOWN THERE!".

So he moves a little further and is about to drill again, but the voice

immediately comes again "THERE"S NO FISH THERE EITHER!".

The Newf looks around and says "Who are you anyways? God?"

 

"NO I'M THE ARENA MANAGER!"

 

 

Hahahaha thats amazing.

Q: A Newfie ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut in six or twelve pieces.

A: "Six, please, I could never eat twelve pieces," replied the Newfie.

^Stop hating on my people

Did you hear about the Newfie who went ice fishing?

He caught fifty pounds of ice and his wife drowned trying to cook.

How many Newfies does it take to go ice fishing?

Four. One to cut a hole in the ice and three to push the boat through.

An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Newfie had decided to go on a hunting trip and were staying in a cabin in the woods. They decided to go hunting one at a time, while the other two stayed and guarded the cabin. The Irishman goes out first and comes back with a fox. He says, very simply, "I see tracks, I follow tracks, I catch fox.". Then the Englishman goes out and comes back with a rabbit. He says, "I see tracks, I follow tracks, I catch rabbit.". Then it was the Newfie's turn. He goes out and comes back limping and badly beaten up. He says, "I see tracks, I follow tracks, I get hit by train."

^ouch. That is great.

i know...i love them