Check out a brand new Coldplaying LP5 blog entry: #42 finally snaps
Discuss this blog entry in the Coldplay forum here onwards [thanks Corkus]
Well, well, well, a lot has happened in my absence, hasn't it? With all your ever-growing impatience and pestering of the Coldplay.com crew, Anchorman has just checked into rehab and the Oracle is currently on her way to the "loony bin". As for myself and the rest of the roadies? We've been watching the value of the Euro drop as a measure of self-esteem, considering how it's somehow less depressing than dealing with the lot of you readers.
Chris Martin infamously once said that Coldplay fans are among the best fans in the world. Let me tell you something - in case you haven't yet noticed, Chris says a lot of things. His claim that Coldplay fans are so unimaginably awesome is about as full of shit as his claim that he doesn't like playing footsies with Jonny Buckland. Ever since my last blog, I have been bombarded with e-mails along the lines of "POST A NEW BLOG #42" or "RELEASE WEDDING BELLS" or "#42 HAVE #69 WITH ME". I'm looking at you, Coldplaying.com. Well, I'm here today to tell you that I have had it...
In addition, I'm sick of the persona "Roadie #42". Sure, it was fun being the answer to life, the universe, and everything, but I started freaking out whenever I saw the number 42, which gave me an uncomfortable urge to post about it somewhere online. As of this day, I shall hereby be known as "Roadie #43". It's still the answer to life, the universe, and everything, except it's plus one! Take that, Douglas Adams!
How have things been going in the studio, you ask? Well, if you recall, last time I blogged about a solar system project. Chris, of course, thought the Styrofoam planets were giant malt balls, so he ate them. Likewise, this has inspired many unique, experimental sounds inspired by the digestive system. Our genius at work - Brian Eno - has been carefully studying the sounds that Chris's digestive tract makes and has been attempting to replicate them in a way that will usher in a new era of musical enlightenment.
We tried taking pictures of Mr. Will Champion playing chess while pretending to look productive, but he warned me that if I were to take any more stupid pictures, he would shove my camera up my right nostril. This made Guy laugh, which insulted Will further. I told the two to take it to a bar. As far as I'm concerned, Mr. Berryman has not been seen since. That leaves just myself and Jonny, and Jonny doesn't let me talk about him behind his back ever since I stumbled upon his scandalous high school year book.
Well, that should hopefully appease you imbeciles until next time, even though it clearly won't, which is why I ask myself why I even bother. Sayonara.
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