Hopeless Romantic

In honor of my not caring anymore, we should all get high as kites!

No. YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP. -cough- Sorry. And, no, I do not "want" you.

You, sir, are completely disgusting. You are the dirt I scrape off the bottoms of my shoes when I return from my afternoon stroll. Could you please, perhaps, discontinue your less-than-appropriate language?

I know that the course of action you just suggested could never assist me in my journey in finding that special man.

No...I do not appreciate short-term relationships purely for...pleasure. They're so...pathetic.

Every single time I fall in love, I am left. Am I ugly? It must be so...or maybe...it's other reasons... I wish I knew! Maybe if I weren't so stupid I could be loved. Perhaps I am meant to never know what it's like to be loved.

No! This time I have fallen for somebody...someone worlds apart from me, who can't return my love! I am so tired of all of this pain! I will never love again...

100% woman.

Cat! Must you be such a tease? I know that if I return your love, you will break my heart, like loves long past.

Ah, my astronaut, the silence of this solitude I feel is more deafening than the sound of a thousand French horns blaring out the calls of our song...

O! This terrible, terrible day...I can't go on anymore. I must go away now...if I can't have the love of your tooth, I will die.

Because I have been left by my own true love, Joshua Treeman. I can no longer stand this terrible solitude. It has been nearly three minutes since I last felt the warm touch of a lover, or smelled the sweaty musk of a miner from Nebraska.

Would you? My love grows stronger and I grow more restless with each passing second I am without the love of my dear Toothy McSnagglepants.

Your tooth...is beautiful in every way. The only thing that aches here is my heart, as I know I will never know the beauty of spending every moment with your tooth.