A miserable Disneyland punter got decidedly more melancholy when he happened upon Chris Martin and family at the themepark this week, writes ivPressOnline. Here's what he had to say. Also see photos after the jump. Let us know what you think of this guy's pathetic rant at the Coldplay forum here [thanks mimixxx]
Chris Martin from Coldplay is a wuss. Besides all that ridiculous sad bastard music his silly band practices, he seems like a genuinely miserable human being, and another one of those camera-shy celebrities who thinks the world revolves around him and his need for privacy.
Dude, then what the hell are you doing going to Disneyland? The Wife and I took our Satan spawn to Disneyland for her birthday last weekend. We weren’t in the park 20 minutes when I ran into the Coldplay front man, his (poorly named) child Apple — or who I assumed was Apple — and an entourage that included a couple of beefy security guards. It was 9 in the morning and there were already thousands of people roaming the park.
The Wife and kid had just gotten on the Dumbo ride, and were spinning around merrily when I positioned myself to snap a picture of them. I wouldn’t have even noticed Chris Martin if I hadn’t caught him scowling at me, giving me a once over and whispering something to his bodyguard. I immediately took a look at the largish camera swinging from my neck and connected that he thought I might be a paparazzo on a mission to ruin his family vacation with a TMZ money shot.
I had also remembered at that instant Martin was one in a long line of self-important celebs who had a history of assaulting paparazzi. As Martin and Apple got on the ride, his head goon, who was obviously some sort of ex-British soldier, with Gaelic or Celtic tattoos running up and down his arms, dark glasses, an earpiece and an impossibly thick neck, started to mill toward me.
I ignored him, took my family photo and when the ride was done, The Wife, kid and I got on the Tea Cups. That’s when I told The Wife what happened. She ripped on me for not taking his photo, and then excitedly whispered to me, “There he is … in line. I’m going to take a picture.”
As she put the view finder to her eye and pointed it toward Mr. Gwyneth Paltrow, she said, “He just looked right at the camera.” She explained he glared at her menacingly and left the Tea Cups, walking away quickly. That was it. Martin was gone and our brush with fame was over. All we have is a blurry picture of him turning his head away; not even enough for a cup of coffee courtesy of the National Enquirer or People magazine.
But the experience left me thinking about celebrities and their relationship with the public and the media. In recent weeks, actor Nicholas Cage has been quoted as saying he wants the public to approach him and his family when he’s out, as a way to teach his children to say thanks to the people responsible for his career and what it has brought his family. The guy hasn’t put out a good movie in more than a decade, but he’s still got enough juice to have a film debut at No. 1. His most recent film, “Knowing,” was the top ticket seller a couple of week’s ago and his corny “National Treasures” movies still do well.
The point is, the level of fame Chris Martin is receiving right now might be considerably more. He’s hot off February’s Grammy Awards, where his band was nominated for seven prizes and actually took home three golden Victrolas for “Viva La Vida.”
But it’s the same, really. It’s like comparing really crappy, 99-cent store oranges to organic, Trader Joe’s blood oranges. They’re still oranges. Chris Martin should just chill out when he’s out in the public eye. There’s no reason to come off as such a prick. I found it kind of odd that no one at Disneyland was approaching him for autographs or even trying to take his photo, at least that we could see. That could have been because some were trying to respect his privacy, but it’s more likely because of the angry vibe he was putting off, and, again, that perpetual scowl he was wearing on his face for the 10 minutes I got to see him.
More famous people should have Nick Cage’s attitude about fans, autograph seekers and the paparazzi. Without those people, so-called celebs like Cage and Martin would just be everyday schlubs like the rest of us. Besides, it’s an unreasonable expectation to think you can venture out among the commoners and not be on the po’ folks’ radar to some degree. If that’s the expectation, Mr. Martin, then quit making music that sells millions of copies and wins numerous awards.
Stop marrying famous actresses and giving your kids names they’ll hate you for someday. Quit staging world tours that take you from one end of the globe to the other for months on end, playing for hundreds of thousands of people. Drop out of the spotlight you’ve made it your life’s work to shine beneath. Drop out and go away. At the very least stop maddogging me and my wife — The Wife — for having a camera in your holy presence.
Chris Martin at Disneyland: (pictures courtesy of The Sun)
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