Church Bloopers (Supposedly True)

[Guest DavidG]

These are true stories supposedly...

 

* Don't let worry kill you- let the church help.

 

* Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

 

* Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

 

* For those of you who have children and didn't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

 

* The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

 

* This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

 

* Tuesday at 4:00 pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

 

* Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.

 

* Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the pastor in his study.

 

* This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.

 

* The service will close with "Little Drops of Water". One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

 

* Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.

 

* The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

 

* A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

 

* At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

 

:lol: :lol:

[Mojo Pin]

* At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Love this one :lol:

[Guest DavidG]

* At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Love this one :lol:

 

that reminds me of my school choir...now that was hell :lol:

[Mojo Pin]

haha well i used to cover white zombie back in the day..THAT was hell :embarrased: :lol:

[Guest DavidG]

we tried to play the old rock in our school once, it was a religious one and they didnt particularly enjoy listening to killing of the name by Rage on the speakers! :lol:

[Mojo Pin]

whoa, i was in a religious school too, i hated the damn uniform gah i hate ties.. once they got me listening to marilyn manson.. oh the beautiful people *headbangs nun style :stunned:

[Guest DavidG]

:lol: we always had sermons on why the finer pleasures in life where wrong and that we were all the same as Neanderthal man! I swear, a few people there had a huge case of hadeupthereanusitis :lol:

 

hmmm, though, i was more of a sweet dreams cover fan :P

[*Ali*]

i just left my religious school, thank god! (no pun intended) how controlling :dozey:

[Guest DavidG]

i just left my religious school' date=' thank god! (no pun intended) how controlling :dozey:[/quote']

 

:lol: