WILL SURVIVE' - (Un-edited versions)

 

MALE VERSION

 

First I was afraid I was petrified

 

At the ugly slapper that was lying by my side

 

I would've drunk a little less,

 

I would've tried to keep my head.

 

If I'd known for just one second you'd

 

Assault me in your bed.

 

I tried to go, walk out the door

 

But you've been sitting on my legs and

 

I Can't feel them anymore

 

And now you're sitting on my face,

 

my nose has vanished - not a trace,

 

I only hope that you're big knickers aren't

 

Made of liquorice lace

 

I want to go, I've got to leave

 

Before your fat and naked body makes me want to heave

 

Only hope that no one saw me walking home

 

With such a sl*t.

 

God the things that you get up to

 

when you're half cut.

 

Please let me go, I'm getting scared

 

There's nothing I can do to stop those ugly

 

Bre*sts from being bared.

 

I think that I must have been mad, God what

 

Made me want to court her?

 

With t*ts that look like Tesco bags I've just

 

Filled up with water

 

It's time to go, run out the door

 

She's started hinting she wants sex on her

 

Dirty lino floor

 

I don't think there's anything worse

 

Than the al-co-hol-ics curse.

 

I WILL SURVIVE !

 

 

 

To which the girls reply.........

 

 

 

FEMALE VERSION

 

At first I was afraid, I was petrified.

 

By the ugly w a*ker that was lying by my side.

 

I would've drunk a little less, I would've

 

Tried to keep my head,

 

If I'd know for just one second I'd be in

 

Your crusty bed...

 

I tried to go, walk out the door.

 

But I laughed so hard at your small kn*b that

 

I've fallen on the floor.

 

Your butts a pimply mess, it's just a broken-out

 

disgrace, But I'd

 

rather look at that, than at your F###ing ugly face...!

 

I want to go, I've got to leave.

 

Your talk of chicks and football really makes

 

Me want to heave.

 

I only know I've got to stop my drinking

 

Spirits and the beer

 

Coz when I looked at you last night, you

 

Looked just like Richard Gere !

 

Please let me go, I feel quite sick,

 

We had the worst sex in the world and you're

 

An ugly pr*ck

 

I should have sh**ged your gorgeous mate,

 

At least he's got a lovely flat

 

But no I go and trust the booze and now I'm

 

Stuck with you, you tw*t.

 

It's time to go, run out the door.

 

You look so ugly it should really be against the law.

 

I'm going to give up all the booze, I'm going

 

To have no stupid fun

 

Coz waking up beside your mug, just makes me

 

Want to be a nun !

 

I WILL SURVIVE!!

:stunned:

I only like the cover cake made ( cake was a band btw...i think hmmmm)

:lol: yep was cool :cool:

that was a fun read.... :lol: :lol:

 

sad that these things really happen... :o

:lol:

you don't agree...? :stunned:

I love this song, but not the cover by Cake :sick:

nope, never had someone unexpected in my bed before :lol:

me neitehr but i know that this happens.... :stunned:

 

a friend of mine ended up like that... :lol: :stunned:

:lol: still, its better that it doesnt happen to us eh :P

hehe...i would never get that drunk that this would happen... :lol: :P

haha lol me neither :lol:

 

although i have been in situations where it could have :lol:

what could have ...? to be that drunk or take someone ugly home...? or both ...? :stunned:

well lol, a girl was drunk and if i were drunk, lol then maybe :lol:

 

but im too easily kept sober and too moral

too easily kept sober...? does that mean you always have to drive...? :P

 

good boy having some moral.... :cool:

:lol: nope, i cant drive

 

thats my excuse lol

 

anyway we get the bus :P

 

but yeah, its good to have morals :)

I drive a Mini, so you can drive as badly as you like and people just laugh. :D

 

:lol: :lol: To the songs!

@Dave

 

you can't drive...? :o

 

shame on you nothing is better than driving aat nightimes through the city with some loud music one...8)

Oh, like doing blockies in the centre of town, that's what the bogans do here! :lol:

 

Mind you, i've down a couple of them in my time :D

@Dave

 

you can't drive...? :o

 

shame on you nothing is better than driving aat nightimes through the city with some loud music one...8)

 

im going to..im an idiot for not!

:lol: :lol: bloody brilliant

im going to..im an idiot for not!

 

you need to learn to drive... :stunned:

 

NOW

 

stop watching the cricket and get yourself behind the wheel...:P :lol:

:lol:

 

okeydokey okeydokey

 

but the cricket is schwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet :lol:

sure... :rolleyes: :rolleyes: