I'm pasting this from my journal because it just about describes how I feel right now... kinda crazy and slighty MAD (as in annoyed)

 

http://www.deadjournal/users/sammeth

 

[ mood | cranky ]

[ music | Snow Patrol - Run ]

 

Okay so not MUCH has actually been happening..I'm just soooo utterly bored out of my mind and I thought that maybe writing on here might help...I somehow doubt it...

Hmmm..well valentines day was good, I spent it with Mikey (he's my boyfriend by the way, I don't think I've mentioned him on here yet)he cooked for me..candles and all...very romantic.. :)

Ummm then the following week I stayed at his house, he works so I was on my own alot of the time..but he came home on lunch breaks to see me. and we went out in the evenings to the cinema and dinner and stuff... umm...

I still have no job yet, the parents are clamping down...and its frustrating..I'm trying..in my own way...yes I look for jobs but I want the right one..and I know I don't really have the right to get all picky or whatever but I jsut don;t want to end up in a stupid job..because then I'll feel that I have to stay there for money or because I am depended on..like at Woolies...I don't wanna sound up myself but they did need me...thats why they NEVER gave me time off...half the staff on entertainment wernt trained enough and there were only two of us who knew how to do somethings like charts and refunds...if I had time off it was bad...im not saying they couldnt live without me..but it was much better when I was there to help out... Gah..I just don;t want to end up in that situation.

Anyway I applied for a job today at an estate agents as an office junior...it's not that far...well it's close to kingston..meh I'll just have to see..I applied online and I sent them my CV...they'll probably thing im some stupid school drop-out..thats what I feel like...ugh..it's not good...and the bad thing is...I used to label people like that..and sometimes I still do...whats with that? What right do I have? Argh..

And then theres this other thing...I can't say yes...or no...everyone knows its easier to say yes to something..and alot of the time I do just to make someone happy even if I know that I'm going to hate it...often I respond with maybe...which is supposed to indicate that I DONT want to...but more subtley (if thats a word) than saying no..

Agh it's frustrating..its like say yes and have a bad time, or say no and feel really bad because you've annoyed the other person..it's a no win situation...look after number 1 and fuck everyone else? NUH UH... look after number 1 but consider other people and still feel bad? UH NO!!! look after everyone else and forget yourself? NO BUT WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?

I hate this...and now I'm being selfish...whats wrong with me?

Sad music doenst help either...I mean at least if my music was a little more up-beat....I dunno what I'm saying...that wouldnt help either...because it would just give me more energy to carry on typing utter crap.

And I'm hungry..it was lunch time ages ago..I should have eaten...I WANT POTATO SMILIES.

Okay I'll come back later...this venting business sorta works...

Sam xx

Why did I post that? I couldn't possibly tell you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:stunned:

Okay well this can be my little thread where I sit and talk to myself.

 

 

Shame on you for thinking your an exception...we're all to blame...crashing down to earth...

*hugz Sammie* :stunned:

I hope u can find a job which u want:)

best wishes

take care ;)

:kiss:

((((((((Sammie)))))))))))))

hope you're okay, dear friend! :confused:

i didn't see this thread earlier...or else i'd have def. posted!

 

shucks...another friend pulled down her web page :confused: :/

Sammie...if you feel like that, I'd suggest just getting on with a job...almost any...work there part-time, and search for a better job the rest of your free time. Now, the way I did this, I didn't have any real 'life' but I just couldn't see myself enjoying while not having the "right" sort of job for my degree...so not having a life didn't bother me as much anyways.

And see, you seem to have such a nice and understanding bf...it was really nice of him to treat you like that on V-day! I thot most guys wudn't do such things...lol

 

and about folding to others' pressure...that might only be temporary...'cuz right now u might feel unsure of yourself. but either way, if you say yes, then you should definitely follow thru with what you agreed to. if you have no intention of doing it, then you should just say no...i know, i don't follow this prescription in my own life sometimes...but it works when i do give it a try! :idea2:

 

good luck, sweetie! you'll find the job of your liking soon enough...they can't send all the jobs away to india/china! :D :P

Good luck, Sammie! :kiss:

Thanks Jim...i think i was kinda feeling sorry for myself...I am still stuck with this job business but im just gonna put my cv about everywhere and see what happens :D

*crosses fingers for you* :)

thank you dear

*hugs Sammie*

*hugs Jim*

:cool: don't feel compelled to hug me back, sweetie :lol:

 

(((((((((Sammie))))))))))) :D

:)

:embarrased:

what's your real name? :wink3: :huh:

Good luck with everything Sammie. I know how frustrating it feels to not have something to do and when you have too much time to think about these thoughts and turn things negative. Anyway hang in there for a good job. You should work somewhere you'd be appreciated and respected and not feel like you're holding the place together. If the estate agents place turns you down, then they really don't know what they've lost out on! Good luck :)

actually..it's also frustrating when you have a ton of things to do and you have deadlines staring in your face...but you get attracted to this web site so much

:stunned: :(

:lol: :lol: or when your computer is screwed and you have to refresh a page 10 times to post something!! :dozey: :rolleyes:

oh yeah...that happened to me also..i got some server error just now! :idea2: :stunned:

well I've been getting it for a couple of days now. Can't check my e-mails or anything :/

oh...that must be a little different problem from the one i encountered.

 

sorry, feeeee!! hope your computer and internet access is a-ok! :confused:

 

(((((((((Fiona)))))))))

:lol: :lol: yes or else I'll be crushed! :sneaky:

nah it should be ok....I couldn't be bothered to be bothered at the moment

(((((((((((Steve-Ray)))))))))))) ;)

 

but yeah Sammieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck :D again

wow you sound so excited and happy! i'm happy for ya! :D