Empily

christmas cracker jokes trololol

I submitted ten puns to a pun contest, hoping one would win. But no pun in ten did

haha needs the picture or we can't tell :P

yes I text Mainly because if i top up £10 I get free texts for a month

Haha Harry knows a guy who's into beastiality :lol: There is demand therefore there is supply :blank:

And this shall, henceforth, be the thread where the rumour that Gregs dad fucked a dog began.

HAHA :freak: This has come slightly out of the blue you may have a spelling mistake in your joke :lol:

haha wut

continue

gtfo that's my job D:

*enters thread*

Oh hello handsome :charming: She's a very good photographer :wacko:

me

Reason so far: 1. They never dance 2. they're too nice?! 3. They don't shave/presumably bathe often enough. 5. They have fan sites where pathetic nonfans often hang out. 6. They're fans aren't very subtle 7. They never visit me at home. 8. They don't do bar mitzvah's. 9. because Reilly loves them. 10. Chris Martin sweats too much and it's all gross and unhygenic and icky 11. Their fansite is a bitch and just crashed for like an hour. 12. Their fansite is a bitch and double posts like a crazy old schizophrenic guy on LSD. 13 They never come to Montreal. 14. they're not coming to Peru, but i still love them 15) They're more successful than me 16) Chris's got a piano, and not me. 17) Chris says that I can't have his piano. 18) Chris has immigrants in his piano 19) Chris's piano's a bitch! 20) The Viva uniforms make me want to barf <3 21) I'm less attractive than them. 22. Their fangirls are so damn annoying 23. Their teeth are British. 24. They don't play "Shiver" live. 25.They can go see the Big Ben anytime, and I can't! 26. The fact that They sould look more "proud" in their status.....esp videos not some "nice" all the time image.. put some angst 27. They have awesome accents and mine is just annoying. 28. They have Guy. 29. They STILL haven't done a cover of Single Ladies like I suggested last year. 30. They're not mine. 31) They has not much talentz 32. Their music is so upbeat, but the lyrics are so sad sometimes. 33) they don't put their lyrics in their album liner notes and that's sort of annoying. 34. The tickets cost too much. 35. where are The Nappies? 36. Three words: Make. Trade. Fair. 37. They sell their things on ebay for ridiculous prices 38. the singer over-alters his voice in live performances D= 39. Chris turned down my suggestion to call his child 'Processed cheese' only to turn around and call the kid Apple. 40. X&Y 41. Some of their fans lack a sense of humour, or even the ability to recognise it. 42. They're British 43. They've never been in my country 44. I'm sorry, but their merchandise is shit 45. they didn't fix us yet... 46. They stole Viva La Vida, like, 30 times... 47) THEY AREN'T CANADIAN 48. All that hot air that comes out of Chris' mouth pollutes the air, damages the o-zone layer, endangers our forests, melts our ice-caps and kills baby kittens on contact. 49) They made Viva la Vida (album) exist. 50. They're inferior to Radiohead 51. because atm i prefer Muse. 52. Chris, Will, Guy and Jonny just doesn't sound as catchy as John, Paul, George and Ringo. 53. They like cake not trifle 54) I'm really hungry right now and they have more money to buy delicious food than me, so they should just go suck on a dick. 55) Cause Chris Martin loves to kiss Bono's balls. 56. They oblige me to lose time in their fanforum instead of doing something useful (like math homework). 57. They dont admit they are the biggest band in the world 58. Chris Martin is lying to us about Gwyneth. We all know it's a coverup 59. Because Chris has a hat. 60. 'Cause they've probably never been to Sardinia 61. Because Guy's pants are way too tight 62. because their songs are shitty? 63) Their ridiculous Viva outfits. 64) Chris Martin. 65: They have a time machine so they can film videos in the 80's( see Tha Hardest Part) 66) Will is sort of ugly. 67) They impregnate fan girls like me but never send me any money to pay for teh poor bastard. 68. Because Chris Martin IS one of Bono's balls. Bob Geldof being the other and The Edge being a tiny little growth attached to Bob Geldof ball. 69. Coldplay seem to make me zone out when I listen to them and then I get embarrassed when my friends tell me that I've been staring into space for the past 5 minutes with a retarded expression on my face. 70: Because.. they made me retarded. 71. They allowed a Steve Carrell movie to profit off a joke made about how gay they are. Bad because they got called gay and because Steve Carrell got attention. 72. some of their songs end a bit too dramatic 73. They fucked up Lost with Jay Z 74. They barely play X&Y 75. Yellow 76. Strawberry swing (It's awful) 77. They stole my babies and named them "Pear" and "Orange". 78. After they make love to me (Yes, at the same time) they all just roll over and fall asleep, they never wanna cuddle or talk. 79. They're too pussy to rock continue............

Do a prawn cocktail for a starter :lol: easy and quick to do :p

We used to go there all the time :wacky: I loved the pool and the rapids :awesome:

The most I've ever biked is probably around Centre Parcs :lol: I'm glad it's all going well Nick :wacky:

Only if you let me watch, babe :lips:

-moist it either makes me thing of the the thing being described as sexual or reminds me of cake

****

It's working for me :uhoh: and :awesome: it has sound :awesome: sounds like traffic yayyyy

I am terrible :uhoh: The gift wrap I was given last year was really shitty and kept tearing so eventually I got pissed off and wrapped the whole entire thing with cellotape :wacky:

would you rather give a guy butt sex or receive butt sex?

I like how no one has picked butt secks

haha a load of girls just went and posed in the abbey road Beatles fashion :awesome: