I never understood the "A man walks into a bar" ones... do they just not have an ending and that's why they're meant to be funny?

 

Knock knock

Who's there?

Lettuce

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in and you'll find out!

 

Knock knock

Who's there?

Mandy

Mandy who?

Mandy lifeboats, the ship's sinking!!:rolleyes:

OK - here's one of my favourites:

 

What's the difference between an Essex Girl and a Walrus??

 

One's all hairy and smells of fish - and the other one's a Walrus!!:P

^ That's funny... but I'm sure it'd be funnier if I knew of Essex girls...

 

Why were there 6 holes in a mirror? Because a blonde tried to shoot herself.

^ That's funny... but I'm sure it'd be funnier if I knew of Essex girls...

 

 

Well in Vancouver they would be Surrey girls, in Germany they'd be Tussis, and maybe there's an equivalent where you are!!:P

Are they really ugly or trannies? If they are transvestites then Kings Cross would probably be the equivalent..

Are they really ugly or trannies? If they are transvestites then Kings Cross would probably be the equivalent..

 

No - just slutty!!:P

Ooooh.... Well, it's still the same as Kings Cross then... That's full of hookers as far as I know

Ooooh.... Well' date=' it's still the same as Kings Cross then... That's full of hookers as far as I know[/quote']

 

But these ones don't do it as a "business"!!:rolleyes:

Knock knock

Who's there?

Mandy

Mandy who?

Mandy lifeboats, the ship's sinking!!:rolleyes:

 

:lol:

But the lettuce one's better.

Hmmm...

this one's horrible.

 

 

How do 104 Jews get into one Mini Morris?

Two ahead, two behind, and 100 in the ashtray.

 

:thinking:

^^That reminds me of a joke I know that is also horrible..

 

 

I did NOT make this up or find it completely amusing......nonetheless it's considered a joke...

 

 

Again...it's a horrible joke but I'll say it anyways.

 

 

 

What's the difference between Jews and a pizza?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pizza's don't cry in ovens....

^I think you should knock these Jewish jokes on the head. They are likely to cause offence.;)

My cousin once told me this joke... it's offensive, but he's not racist and nor am I - just to clear that up...

 

What happened when the man put his hand in the jelly baby jar?

 

The black one stole his watch.

"Knock knock..."

 

"Who's there?"

 

"Interrupting cow."

 

"Inturrupt...."

 

"MOO!"

bad but ok:laugh3:

Q. What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of the airplane?

A. ME!!

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were whipped by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter."

 

Said and done, the next time God looks the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were whipped was 100 miles long, on the line of men that dominated women there was only one man.

 

God got mad and said. "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud, Learn from him!" Tell them my son how did you manage to be the only one on that line?

 

The man said, "I don't know. My wife told me to stand here."

Why did the girl fall off her bike?

Because she's got no legs.

 

:laugh3:

Why did the girl fall off her bike?

Because she's got no legs.

 

:laugh3:

 

Oh, I love it. :lol:

And there's another one.

 

 

Why did Mary fall off the swing?

 

Cos she had no arms.

 

*SPIN-OFF

-Knock,knock!

-Who's there?

-NOT Mary.

 

:laugh3:

HEEEEYYYY!!!!! U STOLE MY JOKE!! (Its in the other thread for jokes.) U BIG THIEF!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

but i forgive ya:wink2::D

What do you call a fly with no wings??

 

A WALK!!:rolleyes:

What's brown and sticky?

 

A stick.

 

 

Where do bees go to the bathroom?

 

The BP station.

 

That last one used to be one of my favourites when I was a kid... I was so easily amused back then...:D

HEEEEYYYY!!!!! U STOLE MY JOKE!! (Its in the other thread for jokes.) U BIG THIEF!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

but i forgive ya:wink2::D

 

Khm! It's my thread :P

& posted it months ago

 

But thanks :D

Why did the girl fall off her bike?

Because she's got no legs.

 

:laugh3:

:o

 

:lol: :laugh3:

Oh, I love it. :lol:

And there's another one.

 

 

Why did Mary fall off the swing?

 

Cos she had no arms.

 

*SPIN-OFF

-Knock,knock!

-Who's there?

-NOT Mary.

 

:laugh3:

:laugh3: :lol:

I heard this the other day. This girl was telling it and NONE of her friends laughed. Poor girl.

 

What kind of pants do the Mario Brothers (the video game) wear?

Denim denim denim, denim denim denim. (like the song...)

 

...Get it?

:dozey: