August 31, 200322 yr We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side - These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it. 1. Saturday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair. The hair we'd like them to cut, they seldom do!! 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints Do Not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just f***ing say it! 1. We don't remember dates. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand. 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? 1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girly mates are for. 1. Check your oil! Please. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is in-admissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you upset or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. 1. All men see in only 16 colours, like the Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to - expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really! 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. NO! No, you really do have too many shoes. 1. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you. ;)
August 31, 200322 yr To tell the truth, it's the best tyhread i've ever seen!!!!!!! Essexbird, you're the best.... wow......!!!!!!! Amazing just amazing!!!!!
August 31, 200322 yr Author sowy! it's hubby's birthday today so I'm being nice and going to organise a birthday surprise! :wink3: :wink3: :D
August 31, 200322 yr LOLOLOL the Toilet seat one was an absolute classic I've used that arguement with women so many times...we have to put it up, so live with having to put it down Oh and the colours one LOL...what is mauve? :D I see in probably 16 colours Red, yellow, blue, green, orange, purple, black, white, beige, brown, scarlet, crimson, turquoise, cyan, indigo, violet :)
August 31, 200322 yr fantastic... come on girls prioritise not accesorise!! :) .... ***starts running...*** :rolleyes: :P
August 31, 200322 yr Aaaaah, really funny... my ex-boyfriend also sent it to me a few months ago :dozey: But I also have the 'female rules'... I think I'm gonna searching for it in my pc :wink3:
August 31, 200322 yr 1. I have long hair 2. guys always think of girls!!!! 3.1.72m for 55 kg (right weight) et toc!
August 31, 200322 yr That's so funny! Thanks for posing it Essexbird. It's very very true, scary really....
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