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One for the boys ..............


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We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules

from the male side - These are our rules! Please note these are all

numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!


1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it

down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining

about you leaving it down.


1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.


1. Saturday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the

tides. Let it be.


1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than

short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that

married women always cut their hair. The hair we'd like them to cut,

they seldom do!!


1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it

that way.


1. Crying is blackmail.


1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do

not work! Strong hints Do Not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just

f***ing say it!


1. We don't remember dates. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.


1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd

be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with

your dress?


1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every



1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's

what we do. Sympathy is what your girly mates are for.


1. Check your oil! Please.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is in-admissible in an argument. In

fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to



1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways

makes you upset or angry, we meant the other one.


1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it

done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it



1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during



1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.


1. All men see in only 16 colours, like the Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what mauve is.


1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of

mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.


1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like

nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the



1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to - expect an answer

you don't want to hear.


1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.



1. You have enough clothes.


1. You have too many shoes.


1. NO! No, you really do have too many shoes.


1. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.




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LOLOLOL the Toilet seat one was an absolute classic

I've used that arguement with women so many times...we have to put it up, so live with having to put it down


Oh and the colours one LOL...what is mauve? :D


I see in probably 16 colours

Red, yellow, blue, green, orange, purple, black, white, beige, brown, scarlet, crimson, turquoise, cyan, indigo, violet



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