Heathen_Chemist Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 what you guys think ... and i want honest, i'll never improve my skills if people don't give me an honest opinion! Verse 1 The recruitment drive promises glory and riches, They fail to tell of the death and squaller of those desert ditches. Mother Teresa would turn in her grave, To see the demise of the young and the brave. Chorus He's a 21st century Jekyll and Hyde, With a face of a saint and a smile so wide, Under his grin which could hardly get any bigger He enjoys having his finger over the trigger Verse 2 Everyone in their right mind wants world peace Yet the government want to make a soldier out of Mr McNeice Would President Blair send his son to die And risk having to join the bereaved as they cry? Chorus He's a 21st century Jekyll and Hyde, With a face of a saint and a smile so wide, Under his grin which could hardly get any bigger He enjoys having his finger over the trigger Verse 3 His doctors continue to spin their lies As he drops bombs on the innocent from the skies Those lives he promises freedom and change His armies have amassed within their range Chorus He's a 21st century Jekyll and Hyde, With a face of a saint and a smile so wide, Under his grin which could hardly get any bigger He enjoys having his finger over the trigger Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy'sChick Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 ok heres my opinion. it all rhyms the lyrics are good the song has a meaning and i just think its brilliant so yeah i like it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heathen_Chemist Posted January 21, 2003 Author Share Posted January 21, 2003 ok heres my opinion. it all rhyms the lyrics are good the song has a meaning and i just think its brilliant so yeah i like it and that is your honest opinion ... you not just saying it's good so that i won't be offended? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy'sChick Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 im definetly being honest here.. when i think something sucks i would definetly say it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heathen_Chemist Posted January 21, 2003 Author Share Posted January 21, 2003 im definetly being honest here.. when i think something sucks i would definetly say it. I've written another song but it's only the bare bones ... it needs alot of work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy'sChick Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 would love to see more work always love to see/read other ppl's work i tried writing a song but im not realy good at it, poetry is more my kinda stuff.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hicksy Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 i like it too - its very good :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy'sChick Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 see i told you it was good! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whatshername Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 I like the chorus...but I would have to actually hear it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maria C Posted January 21, 2003 Share Posted January 21, 2003 Good work huney! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heathen_Chemist Posted January 22, 2003 Author Share Posted January 22, 2003 I'm pleased with the response so far ... thanks people! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
';' Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 I'd have to agree with whatshername i would have to hear it if you wanted me to judge it. my opinion: I really dont like how you have the rhyme thing going on. maybe you could change that up a bit, but if i heard it and it sounded good i wouldnt say anything then. :roll: its good though :D you got something going, and that's more than what i could possibly do. :D ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heathen_Chemist Posted January 22, 2003 Author Share Posted January 22, 2003 I'd have to agree with whatshername i would have to hear it if you wanted me to judge it. my opinion: I really dont like how you have the rhyme thing going on. maybe you could change that up a bit, but if i heard it and it sounded good i wouldnt say anything then. :roll: its good though :D you got something going, and that's more than what i could possibly do. :D ;) yeah i lean far to much on rhyming lines ... i'm going to concentrate less on that ... it would make a good poem i think ... the song is actually the first full song i've ever written! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
';' Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 it would make a great poem. :D nice job for your first full song ever written Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atickingclock Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 always, stays in the background and its so hard to find the nothings that arent important and its so hard to find the place not far away where i just might be but i cant be me aometimes your mind is so full of other peoples worries theres no room for your own but i say it all and ive said too much but i say nothing and i havent said what i mean and i still dont know you and its not that hard to find the somethings that are important and its not that hard to read what you write but it is that hard to see what you mean and i watch how it all grows but nothing comes in return [chorus] and i broke a window and after all, maybe it but then it doesnt whats wrong with being sure? :shrug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracy Posted January 22, 2003 Share Posted January 22, 2003 Very good!!!! :o I want to hear these songs now!!! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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