what you guys think ... and i want honest, i'll never improve my skills if people don't give me an honest opinion!

 

Verse 1

 

The recruitment drive promises glory and riches,

They fail to tell of the death and squaller of those desert ditches.

Mother Teresa would turn in her grave,

To see the demise of the young and the brave.

 

Chorus

 

He's a 21st century Jekyll and Hyde,

With a face of a saint and a smile so wide,

Under his grin which could hardly get any bigger

He enjoys having his finger over the trigger

 

Verse 2

 

Everyone in their right mind wants world peace

Yet the government want to make a soldier out of Mr McNeice

Would President Blair send his son to die

And risk having to join the bereaved as they cry?

 

Chorus

 

He's a 21st century Jekyll and Hyde,

With a face of a saint and a smile so wide,

Under his grin which could hardly get any bigger

He enjoys having his finger over the trigger

 

Verse 3

 

His doctors continue to spin their lies

As he drops bombs on the innocent from the skies

Those lives he promises freedom and change

His armies have amassed within their range

 

Chorus

 

He's a 21st century Jekyll and Hyde,

With a face of a saint and a smile so wide,

Under his grin which could hardly get any bigger

He enjoys having his finger over the trigger

ok heres my opinion. it all rhyms the lyrics are good the song has a meaning and i just think its brilliant so yeah i like it

ok heres my opinion. it all rhyms the lyrics are good the song has a meaning and i just think its brilliant so yeah i like it

 

and that is your honest opinion ... you not just saying it's good so that i won't be offended?

im definetly being honest here..

when i think something sucks i would definetly say it.

im definetly being honest here..

when i think something sucks i would definetly say it.

 

I've written another song but it's only the bare bones ... it needs alot of work.

would love to see more work always love to see/read other ppl's work

i tried writing a song but im not realy good at it, poetry is more my kinda stuff..

i like it too - its very good :)

see i told you it was good! :D

I like the chorus...but I would have to actually hear it.

Good work huney! :D

I'm pleased with the response so far ... thanks people!

I'd have to agree with whatshername

i would have to hear it if you wanted me to judge it.

 

 

my opinion: I really dont like how you have the rhyme thing going on. maybe you could change that up a bit, but if i heard it and it sounded good i wouldnt say anything then. :roll:

 

its good though :D

you got something going, and that's more than what i could possibly do. :D ;)

I'd have to agree with whatshername

i would have to hear it if you wanted me to judge it.

 

 

my opinion: I really dont like how you have the rhyme thing going on. maybe you could change that up a bit, but if i heard it and it sounded good i wouldnt say anything then. :roll:

 

its good though :D

you got something going, and that's more than what i could possibly do. :D ;)

 

yeah i lean far to much on rhyming lines ... i'm going to concentrate less on that ... it would make a good poem i think ... the song is actually the first full song i've ever written!

it would make a great poem.

 

:D

 

nice job for your first full song ever written

always, stays in the background

and its so hard to find the nothings that arent important

and its so hard to find the place not far away

where i just might be

but i cant be me

 

aometimes your mind is so full of other peoples worries

theres no room for your own

 

but i say it all and ive said too much

but i say nothing and i havent said what i mean

 

and i still dont know you

 

and its not that hard to find the somethings that are important

and its not that hard to read what you write

but it is that hard to see what you mean

 

and i watch how it all grows

but nothing comes in return

 

[chorus]

 

and i broke a window

 

and after all, maybe it

but then it doesnt

whats wrong with being sure?

 

:shrug:

Very good!!!! :o

 

I want to hear these songs now!!! :D