Yay! :smart:

Man...I have a song i really like. But it has no chorus. I've been looking and trying to think of a chorus that's 10 words exactly or less. It's a song about starting over again. It was inspired by UATW.

Hmm...10 words? So it'quite a short chorus then?

Yep. It's to the point. Let me post it if you don't mind and tell me what you think.

 

It's called Tomorrow, but I might change it to Life On The Frontline or something else.

 

Oh sunlight rising in the eastern sky

Can we escape from this world and fly

Just let the rain erase all of the pain

So one day we can start again

 

The roads we're traveling bend and curve

We may be wondering, but we won't swerve

Out of control, we'll keep searching

High and low for our heart and our soul

 

<insert chorus here>

 

Siting silent and still on top of a hill

Through all the storms and chains

I see you running

Through all the mist and rain

I see your heart glowing

and pounding against the pain

 

And if this is a sign

Please show me the right way

Up high or down below

Somewhere the northern lights glow

So maybe one day

Something good will come our way

Something good will come our way

Something good will come and stay

 

<chorus here>

 

Still looking for that chorus...:thinking:

 

The original chorus was

 

I'm wishing away the pain and sorrow

And hoping for a new tomorrow...but it sounds stupid.

Wow, those are beautiful lyrics! I love them!

Thank you, can you think of anything that could make them better? I'm trying to improve it. With your vast superior poetry skills I'll bet you can write very moving pieces.

Well, it's pretty great. I just noticed that there are not the same amount of syllables from one verse to the next, on any of the corresponding lines. For instance:

Oh sunlight rising in the eastern sky - 10 syllables

The roads we're traveling bend and curve - 9 syllables

 

I'm not sure how it is supposed to sound though, so Maybe it's okay if it's like that. But that is just something I noticed.

Anyways, if I think of something that I feel could improve it, I'll tell you!

Okay I see what you mean...Thank you very much. I'll take this into account.

Yep. It's to the point. Let me post it if you don't mind and tell me what you think.

 

It's called Tomorrow, but I might change it to Life On The Frontline or something else.

 

Oh sunlight rising in the eastern sky

Can we escape from this world and fly

Just let the rain erase all of the pain

So one day we can start again

 

The roads we're traveling bend and curve

We may be wondering, but we won't swerve

Out of control, we'll keep searching

High and low for our heart and our soul

 

<insert chorus here>

 

Siting silent and still on top of a hill

Through all the storms and chains

I see you running

Through all the mist and rain

I see your heart glowing

and pounding against the pain

 

And if this is a sign

Please show me the right way

Up high or down below

Somewhere the northern lights glow

So maybe one day

Something good will come our way

Something good will come our way

Something good will come and stay

 

<chorus here>

 

Still looking for that chorus...:thinking:

 

The original chorus was

 

I'm wishing away the pain and sorrow

And hoping for a new tomorrow...but it sounds stupid.

 

Keaton, those lyrics are bloody beautiful :nice: :hug:

When this song becomes famous, we can say we saw it in the making! :D

:nod: I better get a shout out at the music awards Keaton! :p

Yeah, me too, since I gave you advise. :P

Yeah, me too, since I gave you advise. :P

 

There is no reason for me.....

Erm....

 

 

We talked about Spider-Man and that song I remind you of :nice:

That is why I should get a shout out :p

You don't need a reason, you're awesome enough to not need one.

You don't need a reason, you're awesome enough to not need one.

 

:hug: thank-you!

There's so many nice Coldplayers :nice:

You're welcome! :)

Yep. It's to the point. Let me post it if you don't mind and tell me what you think.

 

It's called Tomorrow, but I might change it to Life On The Frontline or something else.

 

Oh sunlight rising in the eastern sky

Can we escape from this world and fly

Just let the rain erase all of the pain

So one day we can start again

 

The roads we're traveling bend and curve

We may be wondering, but we won't swerve

Out of control, we'll keep searching

High and low for our heart and our soul

 

<insert chorus here>

 

Siting silent and still on top of a hill

Through all the storms and chains

I see you running

Through all the mist and rain

I see your heart glowing

and pounding against the pain

 

And if this is a sign

Please show me the right way

Up high or down below

Somewhere the northern lights glow

So maybe one day

Something good will come our way

Something good will come our way

Something good will come and stay

 

<chorus here>

 

Still looking for that chorus...:thinking:

 

The original chorus was

 

I'm wishing away the pain and sorrow

And hoping for a new tomorrow...but it sounds stupid.

 

I really like that!

Oh sunlight rising in the eastern sky

Can we escape from this world and fly

.

 

I like all of it but that bit :lol:

I don't like the rhyme.

Maybe "escape from this world and sigh?"

I don't know :sad:

I really like that!

 

Thanks! I appreciate the feedback.

 

I like all of it but that bit :lol:

I don't like the rhyme.

Maybe "escape from this world and sigh?"

I don't know :sad:

 

Okay, I see what you mean. What you said makes sense. I'll look into it, thank you!

I like all of it but that bit :lol:

I don't like the rhyme.

Maybe "escape from this world and sigh?"

I don't know :sad:

 

Yeah that'd be better, me thinks

Hi guys and gals!!!

I'm watching live 2012 what you all up to?

Eating a panini ahaha

PANINI AHHHHHH

I

I was standing

You were there

We actually got a panini maker lawl