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How About an Ode Thread?


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Here's my latest - I was bored at work this morning so I wrote this:


ODE TO A PRIMADONNA COPIER (with a funny squeaky noise)


A grand and exotic machine she may be,

Whose skills only stop short at making the tea,

A finely-tuned thoroughbred, top of her class,

You can tell by the platen – such high-polished glass!


Quietly purring, she waits for commands;

Usually biddable, unless our demands

Become too overwhelming for such pedigree,

Then sparks fly! Oh, my, what a temper has she!


It has sometimes been known, when her feelings are bruised,

That she’ll stop altogether – all requests are refused.

The engineer’s called, and with his toolkit, arrives

(At no little expense!) to probe her insides.


Cajoled and persuaded, ruffled feathers are smoothed,

She resumes normal service, her spirit now soothed.

And as things settle down to business again,

We smile at each other; our relief is quite plain.


But, oh, hear my warning, and make sure well you heed

For complacency’s foolish and can be costly, indeed.

I must whisper this to you, lest she overhears,

So come, come up closer – friends, lend me your ears.


For when I was with her a moment ago

One black-and-white copy I asked for, you know.

No problem, the print was quite perfect and clear,

But I thought – am I mistook? There’s a birdie in here … !


So another copy I took (oh, so compliant was she),

And I am quite certain, no mistake can there be,

That either she’s ailing (a bearing, no doubt),

Or a blackbird’s inside, just trying to get out!


I will leave it with you to decide for yourself

If my theory is sound, or should be left on the shelf.

But my conscience is clear; my duty is done,

I’ll be off to my lunch soon, to sit in the sun.


Then while I’m upstairs I will solemnly pray

That the problem’s resolved with no invoice to pay.

And whether an ailment or a blackbird (or four!),

Let’s hope she’s soon well again, purring once more!



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