Essexbird

:lol: :lol: :lol:

sowy! it's hubby's birthday today so I'm being nice and going to organise a birthday surprise! :wink3: :wink3: :D

I gotta go! See you later! :cool:

I saw it and thought it had been edited :angry: Waited through a whole lot of s**t before it too! :angry: :angry: Saw the boys on the red carpet in the pre-show though :)

:D Wow! You post fast!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Dare you!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

aw thanx! :blush: :blush: :blush: Glad you enjoyed it!! :D

:D and when I'm asleep, sometimes they open which used to freak my mum out completely!!! :lol: :stunned:

intimate piercings which dislodged his front tooth ..............

:smug: :lol: :lol: :lol: Actually I always thought it was quite freaky! :o

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side - These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it. 1. Saturday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair. The hair we'd like them to cut, they seldom do!! 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints Do Not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just f***ing say it! 1. We don't remember dates. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand. 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? 1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girly mates are for. 1. Check your oil! Please. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is in-admissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you upset or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. 1. All men see in only 16 colours, like the Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to - expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really! 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. NO! No, you really do have too many shoes. 1. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you. ;)

blue-ishgrey-ish-green-ish (depending on the weather!)

:lol: :lol: :lol: my bro' in law has been sending some top quality email lately!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

think we should be on 9102 now

1880

A list of actual announcements that London Tube train drivers have made to their passengers.... allegedly... ;) "Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologise for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction". "Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from elbow and backside syndrome, not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any." "Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news is that there is a points failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham, which means we probably won't reach our destination." "Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the delay, but there is a security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the foreseeable future, so let's take our minds off it and pass some time together. All together now....'Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall.....'". "We are now travelling through Baker Street, as you can see Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that". "Beggars are operating on this train, please do NOT encourage these professional beggars, if you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity, failing that, give it to me." During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver announced in a West Indian drawl: "step right this way for the sauna, ladies and gentleman...unfortunately towels are not provided". "Let the passengers off the train FIRST!" (Pause ...) "Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care - I'm going home...." "Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with 'Please hold the doors open'. The two are distinct and separate instructions." "Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors." "We can't move off because some idiot has their ****ing hand stuck in the door" "To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage - what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?" "Please move all baggage away from the doors (Pause..) Please move ALL belongings way from the doors (Pause...) This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train – put the pie down, four-eyes, and move your ****** golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your a**e sideways" "May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed on any part of the Underground. However, if you are smoking a joint, it's only fair that you pass it round the rest of the carriage" :lol: :lol: :lol:

The man obviously has taste! :cool:

potatoes! yum!!

hmmmmmmm..........maybe.............. :/

Alex has a fantastic voice and should win! :) :) :)

:idea2: aha! Would that be "The Patriot" then??? ;) :embarrased: have just realised I didn't read to the end of the thread before posting this! doh!! :embarrased:

:cool: :cool: :cool: :cool:

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq :lol: :o :huh: ;) That was my little boy, Alex (he's only 2 and loves to mess with my computer!) vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Hi Sammie, I'm Tracy :) Good chatting to you!