February 5, 200521 yr ever try to outsmart a woman.......... > > There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his > money, and > was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, > he said to > his wife, "When I die. I want you to take all my money and put it in the > casket with me. I want > to take my money to the afterlife with me." > > So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he > died, she > would put all of the money in the casket with him. > > Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket; his wife was sitting > there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished > the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the > casket, the > wife said, "Wait just a > minute!" > > She had a box with her; she came over with the box and put it in > the casket. > > Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and the rolled it away. > > So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that > money in there with your husband." > > The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't go back on my > word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that > casket with > him." > > "You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!? > > "I sure did" said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into > my account and wrote him a cheque. If he can cash it, > he can spend it." > --------------------------------------------------------------- > > Women Are Smarter Than Men > > Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, > Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. Going to a > singles' bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away. "I'm > just an ordinary man," he said, walking up to her, "but in just a week or > two, my father will die and I'll inherit 20 million dollars." The woman > went home with Charles, > and the next day she became his stepmother! > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > > Women's Revenge > > "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the > woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a > remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry > your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband > refused to come > shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing > I could do > to him. > --------------------------------------------------------------- > > Understanding Women (A Man's Perspective) > > I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand > how you can > take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair > out by the > root, and still be afraid of a spider. > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > > Wife Vs Husband > > A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying > a word. An > earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to > concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, > goats, and pigs, > the husband asked sarcastically "Relatives of yours?" > > "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws." > --------------------------------------------------------------- > > Words > > A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a > day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be > because we have to repeat > everything to men. The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?" > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > > Stupid And Beautiful > > A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and > so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to > explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; > God made me > stupid so I would be attracted to you! > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > > The Beast > > Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby was > losing his temper. "Be careful," he said to his wife. "You will bring out > the beast in me." So what?" his wife > shot back. "Who's afraid of a mouse?" > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > > Coffee > > A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew > the coffee > each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, > and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." > > The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and > you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my > coffee." > > Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that > the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, > "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the > New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed > says.... > > "HEBREWS" > > Send this to every smart female you know and to the men that know their > place!
February 5, 200521 yr and you needed this loang ass post to tell you not to trick women... lol I didnt even read it!! sorry daryl!! :laugh3: :kiss:
February 5, 200521 yr Author Did not read it myself someone sent me looked funny so I posted it. How was Keane ??
February 5, 200521 yr OH MY.... Keane was MEGA!!!!! I was front row.. took crazy piccies and I'll post them here when I get them back.
February 5, 200521 yr > There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his > money, and > was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, > he said to > his wife, "When I die. I want you to take all my money and put it in the > casket with me. I want > to take my money to the afterlife with me." > > So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he > died, she > would put all of the money in the casket with him. > > Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket; his wife was sitting > there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished > the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the > casket, the > wife said, "Wait just a > minute!" > > She had a box with her; she came over with the box and put it in > the casket. > > Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and the rolled it away. > > So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that > money in there with your husband." > > The loyal wife replied, "Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't go back on my > word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that > casket with > him." > > "You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!? > > "I sure did" said the wife. "I got it all together, put it into > my account and wrote him a cheque. If he can cash it, > he can spend it." :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: thats good :P
February 5, 200521 yr > --------------------------------------------------------------- > > Understanding Women (A Man's Perspective) > > I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand > how you can > take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair > out by the > root, and still be afraid of a spider. :laugh3:
February 5, 200521 yr > Coffee > > A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew > the coffee > each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, > and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." > > The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and > you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my > coffee." > > Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that > the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, > "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the > New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed > says.... > > "HEBREWS" hahah, now thats better :P
February 5, 200521 yr > Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby was > losing his temper. "Be careful," he said to his wife. "You will bring out > the beast in me." So what?" his wife > shot back. "Who's afraid of a mouse?" :lol: :lol:
February 8, 200521 yr haha how true! genious yeah!! i bet that shit was written by a man!!!! mwwahahahaa :lol:
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