Although I'm a new member I need some advice. There is this guy that I met this weekend called John and we got on really well but as mates but he wants more. He wants to be in a relationship. Ive been hurt so much in the past and I'm afraid that it will happen again. But how do I tell him?

I'd suggest that you sit him down. Look into his eyes and say "on yer bike"

 

ok but seriously if you think that you two get on well as mates then I think he'll understand if you just tell him about how you've been hurt before. And don't worry, not all relationships end badly :)

yer i guess but i just don't wan to upset him and him to stop talking to me.

But I was so hurt I just don't believe that any relationship could go to plan

well relationships generally don't go to plan and that's usually the fun part and if you and this guy are meant to be, then he should understand and be reasonable :)

yer i guess thanks

Good luck with it all though :)

Btw what's your name? :)

Although I'm a new member I need some advice. There is this guy that I met this weekend called John and we got on really well but as mates but he wants more. He wants to be in a relationship. Ive been hurt so much in the past and I'm afraid that it will happen again. But how do I tell him?

 

Emm its hard though at times u can sometimes meet someone, get along and just get that click for yourself. I guess and would give him merit for being level with u from the onset. Yea a risky measure by him, but if he means what he says he will do good for u perhaps he just wants to make u very happy. !

 

If he was not to tell u and pretend to be a good friend and you found out he liked u but did not say, would u not feel like has has been fake with u all along..

 

Perhaps he knows he would really like u as well, possibly love u and he may have told u this to proctect himself, as he would be so devesated if u found someone, and he had not told u before he will always wonder what if ?? A question that would always do my head in!!

i agree with Fifi.

 

if its meant to be, you might like him too. don't force it. seems he's trying to force it to happen. you don't have to oblige. only if you like him, then go ahead. then don't have regrets, nor hold back...that would be worst.

btw, that's what happened to me. my ex wasn't sure if she wanted to be in a relationship, but when i showed interest, she basically went with it, only to feel regret later and then she ended up breaking my heart too from which i'm still not fully recovered.

 

so yeah, if you don't feel there's chemistry or you don't see it happening, just save the trouble for yourself and the guy...he obviously likes you so look out for that too as to whether you might end up breaking his heart few months down the road.

btw, that's what happened to me. my ex wasn't sure if she wanted to be in a relationship, but when i showed interest, she basically went with it, only to feel regret later and then she ended up breaking my heart too from which i'm still not fully recovered.

 

so yeah, if you don't feel there's chemistry or you don't see it happening, just save the trouble for yourself and the guy...he obviously likes you so look out for that too as to whether you might end up breaking his heart few months down the road.

 

Hmmm I have been in that situation before mate... my heart goes out to you... big style

 

It almost killed me when I saw her going though things with her boyfriend and she kept coming to me with her problems.

 

In the end I ended up being very cold to her in a desperate bid to end the friendship, however she confronted me and was going to give back all the gifts I had gave her in the time we was friends unless I told her what the problem was. I could not see these gifts come. Overall it was killing me when I saw her going though hard times. I wanted to give her the special hug, but I could not and not say anything to her about her relationship as I felt I could have been invertedly getting her myself this against the Prime Directive if u ask me...

 

It was for the best anyway... her now ex boyfriend is a good mate of mine, she is no longer a mate as ironically things went full circle and she wanted me in the end saw me going though something, but the love I had for her in that way had long gone as I met other people that I admired in that way since then. However it was one of my hardest epiosodes in my life.

i`m in the same situation so thanx guys for advice :D

no, with me, my ex gf ended up going back with her ex bf, the guy she was dating before she met me. it's really pathetic, because that means she never was over him and i got used even if she didn't mean to use me. i hate it when this happens. i mean, hey, i was serious and i was clear about what i wanted and told her that if she can't be serious and have a commitment with me than we can just be friends, but instead, she just went along with how i was feeling, only to later back off...in the process breaking my heart and making me wonder about life itself.

oh, kasia, so you have some guy after you but you're not interested?!

try and be her friend !

if u can

its not easy belive me.. espcailly when its hard for her !! :P but there could be a greaert thing in the future !

I am so glad I am not looking for someone at the moments, these things can take up a lot of time up in your mind. I can write a book about this !

i am trying to be a friend!--she makes it hard somtimes, a lot! i have tried so hard to continue to stay in touch...though i feel i'm being a fool for her.

I am so glad I am not looking for someone at the moments' date=' these things can take up a lot of time up in your mind. I can write a book about this ![/quote']

 

I mean have to have me mind on someone... that I fancy or been out with... as well

oh, you don't know about how it's affected my whole life, my work, my social life, everything.... i can't stop thinking about it and its really not good.

oh' date=' you don't know about how it's affected my whole life, my work, my social life, everything.... i can't stop thinking about it and its really not good.[/quote']

 

 

yeah belive me I make that mistake all the time mate... I once was signed off work ill for 3 weeks due a issue I had with someone I liked/loved there was other things but this contruibuted to me stress level

 

every situation is unique though, and has its own personal merits that I guess u will only understand !!

 

**Some man hugs for u and a pint of stella is on its way !

yeah i have some guy goinafter me but i`m extremely suspicious. i live in london after all

yeah i have some guy goinafter me but i`m extremely suspicious. i live in london after all

 

I can give him a call if u wants he will hear me Manchester Accent and never bother u again ! :D s

omg manchater accent. will i be able to understand you at all when we meet?

#'#'#'##'# did u understand that <<< :lol:

btw, that's what happened to me. my ex wasn't sure if she wanted to be in a relationship, but when i showed interest, she basically went with it, only to feel regret later and then she ended up breaking my heart too from which i'm still not fully recovered.

 

so yeah, if you don't feel there's chemistry or you don't see it happening, just save the trouble for yourself and the guy...he obviously likes you so look out for that too as to whether you might end up breaking his heart few months down the road.

 

Hmmm I have been in that situation before mate... my heart goes out to you... big style

 

It almost killed me when I saw her going though things with her boyfriend and she kept coming to me with her problems.

 

In the end I ended up being very cold to her in a desperate bid to end the friendship, however she confronted me and was going to give back all the gifts I had gave her in the time we was friends unless I told her what the problem was. I could not see these gifts come. Overall it was killing me when I saw her going though hard times. I wanted to give her the special hug, but I could not and not say anything to her about her relationship as I felt I could have been invertedly getting her myself this against the Prime Directive if u ask me...

 

It was for the best anyway... her now ex boyfriend is a good mate of mine, she is no longer a mate as ironically things went full circle and she wanted me in the end saw me going though something, but the love I had for her in that way had long gone as I met other people that I admired in that way since then. However it was one of my hardest epiosodes in my life.

 

 

so how well do you know 'musiclover' daryl... :laugh3: coincidence indeed...

lol was that manchester accent? haha