Well, this thread comes while I was talking with my brother...That doesn't often happen...

 

Well...since August 2005, I know that my brother and I don't have the same father...

 

My mother never mentions our father, and when I ask questions about him, she answers quickly, then she speaks about something else...

 

I'm always thinking about it, even if the relationships between my brother an I are getting better...

I'd really like to speak about that with my mother but I dunno how she will react...I'm quite scared about it...

 

If you were me,would you talk about it with your mother (father)?

Do you have a similar experience in your family?

You need to find a way to talk about it and get answers.

Sure, I try, but I can't find a way to talk to her about that without talking about it...

You have to make sure you're not hurting your mothers feelings though.

 

Since you don't know the reasons behind the fact you have different fathers, you also don't know your mothers point of view.

 

Have you ever seen your father? (to your memory?) Or have you had a step father or anything?

It is probably a really big history between your mum and your dad (that might be akward for her to talk about)..

 

So be sensitive and considerate and SUPER understanding when you gently bring the subject up again..which you should because you are curious, at a good age to find out these things.. and you have every right to know.

 

Get her alone at a time when she is not busy...sit and chat for a while...Then tell her what is on your mind and be honest about how you feel bout the situation.

 

Tell her that you really would like to know, and that she can take some time to think about how to tell you or when. But in anycase...she needs to talk to you about your dad and all that stuff...well not ALL of it, but at least the things you deserve to know.

You have to make sure you're not hurting your mothers feelings though.

 

Since you don't know the reasons behind the fact you have different fathers, you also don't know your mothers point of view.

 

Have you ever seen your father? (to your memory?) Or have you had a step father or anything?

 

No never...She told me he died when I was 3...But I don't really belive it...

 

Clear as crystal, you raise a very good point...I'll do what you advise!!!

yeah..this is a sensitive subject and while I have not had to go through this personally, I do know that maybe (as is natural) your mom will have some uncomforts when having to tell you these things.

 

do it when she is cooking, or driving or something...just be real understanding is all I can give you.

^ok no problems...I'll try it this week end...

Well... I don't have a father (although he didn't die, I haven't spoke to him for 4 years now) and I know that, although I'd probably like to see my dad every day or every whenever, he doesn't deserve it.

 

Now, I'm not saying this is what happened to your family, but my mother and father broke up when I was 11, I'm 17 now. And we (myself and my 2 younger brothers) have no contact with my father for 4 years now, and even before then it wasn't much contact at all, and he has never paid anything for us since they broke up.

 

The problem is with this is if I said to my mother that I would like to see my father, after everything he's done to me and my family, I would feel like it would be throwing everything my mother has done back in her face. For about 6 years she's raised me and my two brothers single handedly, without my father's help. For that I am eternally grateful and that's why I don't mention my father anymore.

 

If your mother said something like your father had died, but you speculate different. Just keep it at that. I would assume greatly that she wouldn't say this unless she had a damn good reason to. If she says your father is still alive, ask why he never saw you. If your mother says it was his choice, leave it at that cause taking your search further would only hurt both parties.

 

 

Whether you choose to take my advice is up to you, and to be honest I have no idea whether it's got anything in relevance to your situation, but I've witnessed what losing a father can do to a family and if you wanna risk doing the same to your family... It's just my experience.

 

Hope you at least read it and think about what you're thinking about doing and whether the possible consequences are worth it.

^You're right...you're so right...

 

i think I'd just try to know more, without hurting her...

 

in my deepest mind I "m still a child who wants to know a little bit more....

just enough to feel better...cos I think I need one father....even if I thought it wasn't the case before....

 

thx to all though!