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YELLOW


CatDubh

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Three men, an Italian, a French and a Spanish went for a job interview in England. Before the interview, they were told that they must compose a sentence in English with three main words: "green", "pink" and "yellow".

 

The Italian was first:

"I wake up in the morning. I see the yellow sun. I see the green grass and I think to myself, I hope it will be a pink day."

 

 

The French was next:

"I wake up in the morning, I eat a yellow banana, a green pepper and in the evening I watch the Pink Panther on TV."

 

 

Last was the Spanish:

"I wake up in the morning, I hear the phone "green...green...", I pink up the phone and I say "Yellow?"

 

biglaugha.gif

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heres one i found

 

 

 

Three guys are walking...

 

 

A black guy, a Mexican guy and a white guy are walking along when they find a bottle with a genie inside. The genie says that he will grant them one wish apiece.

 

The black guy says, "I want all my African brothers in America to be back in Africa where they can be free.' the genie grants his wish.

 

The Mexican guy says, "I want all my Mexican brothers to be back in Mexico where they can be free." the genie grants his wish, and then turns to the white guy.

 

"So you just sent all the Mexicans back to Mexico and all the black people back to Africa?" he asks the genie.

 

"Yes," the genie replies.

 

"Okay," the guy says, "I'll have a coke. then."

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Shoot the chihuahua

 

A man walked into his back yard one morning and found a gorilla sitting in a tree, staring back at him. He tried unsuccessfully to get the gorilla to leave, so he called a gorilla-removal service, and soon a serviceman arrived with: a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs, and a shotgun.

 

Now listen carefully," the serviceman told the homeowner. "I'm going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to the ground. The trained Chihuahua will then go right for the privates of the animal, and when the gorilla instinctively crosses his hands in front to protect himself, you slap on the handcuffs!"

 

"Got it." the homeowner replied. "But what's the shotgun for?"

 

"If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla," said the serviceman, "shoot the Chihuahua."

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lol2.gif

 

OK, here's an Irish one:

 

 

'Hello. Is that Dublin double two, double two?' asked the caller.

'Indeed no,' said Murphy. 'It's Dublin two, two, two, two.'

'I'm sorry to have troubled you,' said the caller.

'It's all right,' said Murphy. 'I had to answer the phone anyway!'

 

DOH!

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  • 6 years later...

So there are these four guys on an airplane. There's a Frenchman, an Englishman, a Mexican, and a Texan. Anyway, the plane starts to malfunction, and the plane is headed towards a mountain range. The pilot tells them that in order to keep the plane from running into the mountain range, three of them have to jump out.

 

First, the Frenchman steps up, yells "Viva la France!" and jumps out of the plane.

 

Then the Englishman steps up, yells "God save the Queen!" and jumps off the plane.

 

Then the Texan steps up. He yells "Remember the Alamo!" and tosses the Mexican off the plane.

 

I know, I know, horrible. :P

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A Jewish pilot has his first flight with his new Chinese co-pilot. As soon as they take off, the pilot says, "I don't like the Chinese."

 

"Why not?" asks the co-pilot.

 

"Chinese attacked Pearl Harbor" says the pilot

 

"no no, that was the Japanese" says the co-pilot.

 

The pilot responds "Chinese, Japanese, they're all the same."

 

After a minute the Chinese co-pilot announces "No like Jews!"

 

"Why not?" demands the pilot.

 

"Jews sink the Titanic!" says the co-pilot.

 

"No, an iceberg sank the Titanic" says the pilot.

 

The co-pilot responds "Goldberg, Steinberg, iceberg, all the same!"

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