By Samuel Stoddard

 

http://www.rinkworks.com/romantic/

 

Being romantic is hard work. Some people think that romance is easy, that anybody can be romantic with very little work. This is not true. To be romantic there are a lot of things you must know about romance and a lot of situations you must prepare for. For example, you and your beloved plan a date for next Friday night. You ask where she'd like to go. "Oh, I don't know," is her reply. "Surprise me. I know you'll think of something special." What do you do? Give up? Read on and learn the secrets of romance.

 

 

 

OK, so this guy sees himself as a charmer. Let's take a look at some of his advice:

 

Taking advantage of the intrinsic romance in cute things obviously depends upon recognizing which things are cute. The rule is simple. Small things are cute. If you see a food product in a grocery store that comes in a smaller package than usual, get it, because there's a very good chance it's cute. The same goes for travel size shampoo, toothpaste, and so on. Find a store that sells doll house stuff, and your supply of cute things can be limitless.

 

Travel sized shampoo and toothpaste is the way to a woman's heart...

 

Red is romantic, because red is the color of love and passion. Consider roses. Red roses mean, "I love you." Yellow roses mean, "Let's just be friends," which is synonymous with, "You are irritating, and I hate you." So you do not want to be wrong. Get her red roses, red ribbons, red balloons, red teddy bears, red puppies, and red tickets to the World Series, and she'll fall hopelessly under your spell.

 

Stab yourself in the face and bleed on her as a present and she will adore you forever. RED!

 

Background music is romantic, and note the word "background," because not just any music is romantic. For music to be romantic, it must be too soft to hear. Also, it may not be lively or funny or good. Elevator music is the most romantic genre of music out there.

 

I always get laid in elevators...

 

Romance is personal. To be romantic, you must be personal and do personal kind of things. It's sort of romantic to buy a mooshy greeting card for your loved one, but to be really romantic, you should sign it. As far as birthday presents and so forth go, you can make the gift personal by carefully considering your beloved's interests and choosing a gift uniquely suited to her personality. Flowers always works.

 

Sign the card - shows you've made an effort.

I'm trying to work out if this thing is a joke or not. I mean he's goes so well in the middle, until the last sentence which negates it.

 

Be as much like James Bond as you can

Are we limited to puns about 'getting the english end up' which anybody who truly understood the language would cringe at. It's lucky the ones he ends up with aren't natives.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think this site is genuine. I mean he tries to add humour to things but I think jokes aside he believes in what he is saying. This is sad enough, but to think he should make a website about it is beyond ridiculous.

 

Anyway, this thread is about romance. What you like, what you don't like, and anything else.

ahaha this made me laugh...red is a very attractive colour though :charming:

I think he is just talking about stereotypes or something like that....for me it looks like "how do cliche men think of cliche women"....haha nice

and he is trying to be funny...

 

although I must admit I could see myself in some of his views on cliche women....haha...:wacky:

 

edit: I am not even sure anymore if I am making sense....I need to think of that again hm

brb dieing

brb dieing

 

Overwhelmed by romance?

Stab yourself in the face and bleed on her as a present and she will adore you forever. RED!

 

We see enough blood every month.

We see enough blood every month.

 

ALERT ALERT

 

EXTREMELY UNROMANTIC

 

SEEK AND DESTROY!!!

We see enough blood every month.

 

ALERT ALERT

 

EXTREMELY UNROMANTIC

 

SEEK AND DESTROY!!!

ALERT ALERT

 

EXTREMELY UNROMANTIC

 

SEEK AND DESTROY!!!

 

Heh heh.

We see enough blood every month.

 

ALERT ALERT

 

EXTREMELY UNROMANTIC

 

SEEK AND DESTROY!!!

 

:worried2:

haha interesting. I'm always a sucker for travel sized anything.

 

:thinking: exceptions being maybe, penis. :sneaky:

haha interesting. I'm always a sucker for travel sized anything.

 

:thinking: exceptions being maybe, penis's. :sneaky:

 

Oh no she didn't :P

 

On a side note, whilst it is acceptable grammar, I don't like the word penis's. Singular it is OK but plural I go for a slang term.

;):laugh3: edited for Braddocks comfort level.

:smug:

I can't argue with penis. And neither should anybody else.

:crown: the King has spoken.

Carry on.

No! It is penii.

No! It is penii.

 

I was going to put that, but it wasn't in the dictionary I checked.

I love how simply inserting "penis" can take a thread in a whole new direction.

 

Ian we need penis smilie.

I love how simply inserting "penis" can take a thread in a whole new direction.

 

Ian we need penis smilie.

 

Haha, yeah. We are so easily corruptible.

A penis smiley would be hilariously horrifying.

:evil2: oh rly ?

:saw::sweatdrop:

:lol:

 

hey i live just an hour away from the lodge where that was filmed.

cool fyi huh.

I love how simply inserting "penis" can take a thread in a whole new direction.

 

Ian we need penis smilie.

 

 

 

 

:thinking: :freak:

what this thread has turned into is my definition of romance:heart:

 

:wreck:

:laugh3: