Hello I have some intelligent questions to ask

[andster]

Hello I am Andster

I have a few questions for you guys :)

Shoot:

 

1.Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet.

2.Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?

3.Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving a dump?

4.Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

5.Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?

6.If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

7.How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?

8.What color would a smurf turn if you choked it?

9.Where's the egg in an egg roll?

10.Why can't woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?

11.Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

12.Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

13.What do people in China call their good plates?

14.If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesn't he buy his dinner?

15.If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?

16.if a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

17.Why isn't 11 pronounced "onety-one"?

18.If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

19.If you got in a cab and the driver drove backwards, would he end up owing you money?

20.Why is the word for "a fear of long words," hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, so long?

21.If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?

22.Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

23.Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

24.How do people get discombobulated? Have you ever seen someone who was combobulated?

25.Why do kids learn math when they could just use calculators like the grownups?

26.Can't the postman give it to the garbage man and save us the hassle?

27.Did they purposely make dyslexia hard to spell?

28.Why won't my bankruptcy attorney accept payments?

29.Is Florida shaped like a handgun on purpose?

30.Why do Scandinavians keep writing O's and then just crossing them out?

31.What's does it hurt like hell to hit your funny bone?

32.Can they prevent me from paying my phone bill in pennies?

33.Do Asians ever say to hell with it and grab a fork?

34.Where are all the mentally handicapped parking spaces for people like me?

35.Are there crash courses on how to fly?

36.Shouldn't Ronald McDonald be, like, heavier?

37.Why do we sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" when we're already there?

38.Why does honey come in plastic bears and not plastic bees?

39.When someone is yelling at you in sign language, do you just close your eyes?

40.What if Batman gets bitten by a vampire?

41.Why don't radio stations skip the cash giveaways and play some bloody music?

42.Five bucks a gallon?! Is it time to start crying over spilled milk?

43.Only I can prevent forest fires? Isn't that a lot of pressure?

44.Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

45.If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?

46.Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say "hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?

47.Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

[chuck kottke]

Hmm... I wonder, what a lot of questions looks like! :laugh3: Alright, I'll try to answer...

 

Hello I am Andster

I have a few questions for you guys :)

Shoot:

 

1.Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet. > Because in the long long ago days of antiquity, electricity was perceived as a current of electrons (like water coming out of a lake), and the electrons flowed out of a socket. Just a wild guess.:P

2.Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore? Well, it fixes one problem?:laugh3:

3.Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving a dump? :thinking: archaic slang, I dunno. Once there were Privies and buckets; different term from a different time.

4.Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections??

5.Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter? Because the pen in mightier than the sword, it's a pretty dangerous thing to just leave laying about!

6.If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? From Morels, which can be tasty! :P (just watch out for the morel's tails)

7.How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead? Well, I suppose poor contacts on other things make for habits that carry over to remotes.. a hangover from mechanical days?

8.What color would a smurf turn if you choked it? Purple?

9.Where's the egg in an egg roll? Where's the drum in a drum roll?

10.Why can't woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed? ?

11.Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer? Because the fridge makers know that light freezes and builds up inside, so to prevent a cascade of photons from zapping you when you open the door, they left one out. :cool:

12.Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat? > Because there are other uses for carbonized bread. And besides, that's Cajun style!:laugh3:

13.What do people in China call their good plates? fine porcelain ? Good Q.

14.If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesn't he buy his dinner? > For the same reason people buy stuff off infomercials? Maybe he's got preferred stock in Acme?

15.If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong? :laugh3:

16.if a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? Good point. Cross references with udder dictionaries.

17.Why isn't 11 pronounced "onety-one"? It isn't?:stunned:

18.If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to? > The Even Better Business Bureau!

19.If you got in a cab and the driver drove backwards, would he end up owing you money? > Good one - do cab meters only go forwards?.. never really been in one..

20.Why is the word for "a fear of long words," hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, so long? There are so many phobias, all the other names were taken!

21.If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet? Only if you are a fast neutrino. All others leave suds in the bubble chamber.

22.Why is it that night falls but day breaks? sky hits earth, sky breaks from earth - old view.

23.Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? It's an easier hypothesis to test!:P

24.How do people get discombobulated? Have you ever seen someone who was combobulated? It was an awful mess, yes..

25.Why do kids learn math when they could just use calculators like the grownups? Never mind, and just eat your vegetables.

26.Can't the postman give it to the garbage man and save us the hassle? Because each work for a different man, one giveth, and one taketh away.

27.Did they purposely make dyslexia hard to spell? :confused:

28.Why won't my bankruptcy attorney accept payments? Talk to Wall Street - they found a way!

29.Is Florida shaped like a handgun on purpose? NC

30.Why do Scandinavians keep writing O's and then just crossing them out?:laugh3: Wondered that meself - something about the need to put a ski on everything.

31.What's does it hurt like hell to hit your funny bone? It's funny to watch someone else hit theirs!:laugh3:

32.Can they prevent me from paying my phone bill in pennies? Diane frowns on it - go ahead, make her day!:P

33.Do Asians ever say to hell with it and grab a fork? Only when chasing a tasty pig! or maybe that's the Polynesians.. oops! nevermind!

34.Where are all the mentally handicapped parking spaces for people like me? mee too!:angry:

35.Are there crash courses on how to fly? No, but there are courses to teach flies how to crash!

36.Shouldn't Ronald McDonald be, like, heavier? Supersized!:laugh3:

37.Why do we sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" when we're already there? Some games feel like there's no game going on at times! Hence, no-hitters.

38.Why does honey come in plastic bears and not plastic bees? .. Just be glad the honey isn't plastic.

39.When someone is yelling at you in sign language, do you just close your eyes? >Good Q - I'll only know when I can finally see!

40.What if Batman gets bitten by a vampire? Then he becomes a batpire!

41.Why don't radio stations skip the cash giveaways and play some bloody music? ? and they used to say money is music to the ears! Well, glad someone sees the light! (or hears the singing).

42.Five bucks a gallon?! Is it time to start crying over spilled milk? >yes.

43.Only I can prevent forest fires? Isn't that a lot of pressure? Hopefully it is, if you're a hydrant!:P

44.Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? they don't?:stunned:

45.If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat? You'd get one slick cat! :cool: totally cool!

46.Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say "hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"? Well, most people are either Freds, or Dons, or Joes, or...

47.Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

I suppose one should ask a dog this question - I dunno!! Woof! :escaping2:

[Cobalt]

1. The electricity flows outwards

2. Of course your dog still works. It's still alive, isn't it?

3. Same thing as taking a piss. Derived from taking a break, I guess.

4. In case other chemicals fuck it up.

5. Number one thing stolen from banks: PENS! Also, doors are open for potential customers so seems more welcoming etc

6. Apples and oranges

7. EXERCISE IN FUTILITY!!!

8. I dunno, ask the Smurf creators

9. WTF is an egg roll

10. They can...

11. My freezer has a light, whatchu talkin' bout Willis?

12. Believe it or not, some people like their toast like that.

13. I don't know Chinese :shrug:

14. Hunting for fun!

15. Yes

16. Revised editions

17. The same reason 12 isn't onety-two or dectwo

18. Who what now?

19. No. The same way that if you reversed your car the odometer wouldn't go down.

20. Latin translations I would imagine

21. You would likely die trying to find out.

22. Day breaks the night.

23. Because the paint is there to check?

24. Combobulated is not a word!!

25. So they don't have to use the calculator for 1+1. That would be dumb.

26. Give what?

27. No

28. I DUNNO LOL

29. No

30. ...this is a really silly question

31. Bad grammar makes this question impossible to understand!

32. Don't think so

33. Yes you racist ning

34. Off a cliff

35. No, you need more extensive training than a "crash course"

36. Character design

37. I'M NOT AMERRIKUN SORREH

38. Honey doesn't come in plastic bears, WTF?

39. I suppose you could, if you wished to

40. Vampires don't exist in the world of Batman...?

41. Because LISTENER GAIN

42. You cry over spilt milk?

43. Not really, unless you can somehow set things on fire by touching them

44. Pointing to your wrist is the global sign thing for asking for the time

45. The cat would land on its feet

46. Nobody else knows you are a part of AA, so your identity is kept anonymous from people not in AA

47. Not all dogs do this

 

Some of these questions are trying to be all intellectual, but they are not. Try moar.