It's Really Unnecessary to Have a Barbecue for Every Party You Host

[Texas Rez]

It's 4th of July, so why not?

 

Vol. 14

It's Really Unnecessary to Have a Barbecue for Every Party You Host

By Anthony Romero

 

1

Why is it that every single year I get invited to Tim's 4th of July barbecue? Seriously, is it really necessary to host a barbecue for every single damn day he sees a level of significance in, including the day we celebrate America's independence? From what I can remember, he invited me to the barbecues he had in the past for Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween, his "I lost my virginity" party, makeout parties (I didn't attend this one because there were no guys to makeout with, though.), birthday parties and Mary's going away party. Tim doesn't even know how to work the damn grill in the first place! Besides, he uses charcoal instead of propane. I just don't understand Tim's logic behind all of this.

 

Like the previous three 4th of Julys I spent with Tim, I caved and decided to attend his repugnant barbecue anyways. It was always held in the afternoon at Tim's backyard, so you can obviously tell that we were in desperate need of that OFF! spray for when we see the fireworks at nighttime. Tim worked the grill, as always, as Johnny, Mylo and I were comfortably seated in our lawn chairs. As we were all sipping on Pepsi discussing about how Suzy tripped at graduation, I noticed something was missing. All I could hear were their voices and the sizzling of the burgers on the grill. There wasn't any music at all. As a matter of fact, I didn't even see a radio or a soundsystem of the sort anywhere! I couldn't help but to inform Tim.

"Tim!" I shouted. "Where's the music?" I waited a good minute or so for Tim's response, but he was too damn busy grilling burnt burgers! I couldn't put my finger as to why he didn't respond to my question. Either I wasn't loud enough or he just ignored me. It's obvious to me that Tim does not know how to host a party. It isn't a party without music. Good music, to be specific.

 

I didn't even want to bother trying to get Tim's attention again. Instead, I decided to leave Tim's place for a bit to bring my radio from my house. Well, I wouldn't really call it a radio though. It's more like of a boombox. It's one of those Memorex boomboxes with handles carved into the design to make life easier for you when you decided to take it with you on the go. Anyways, I downed the rest of my Pepsi, threw the empty Pepsi can on the ground and walked into Tim's house through the back door from the backyard. Without even asking where I was going or even looking up from the grill, Tim says to me "Get the fireworks while you're at it." What the hell does that even mean? He never told me anything about fireworks at all! Does he have them stored in the garage and expects me to go get them for him or something? I wouldn't be surprised if he meant for me to go to a fireworks stand to purchase some for him. Since he decided to not respond to my question earlier I didn't care too much about Tim's request anyways.

 

Since Tim is my next-door neighbor, it obviously wasn't a long walk home. Since my radio was in my room, all I had to do was to simply walk into my room, grab my radio and make my way back into Tim's backyard. Sounds like a simple task, right? Unfortunately, my mom just had to complicate the process for me as always.

"Looks like someone's party ended too soon," my mom said to me when I walked through the front door.

"The party's still going on, mom," I said. "I just came here to get my radio."

"Oh, I think your father's borrowing it for Christian's party."

"Are you serious? When did he leave?"

"He left about an hour ago, I believe."

"Perfect. Just what I needed to hear. I'll just go back to Tim's lame party."

"Okay. Have fun at the party, okay?"

"I will, I will... Wait, why aren't you at Christian's party with dad?"

"Well, thanks to your big mouth for telling him that I had sex with another person at San Antonio during Cinco de Mayo, he's having trust issues with me. Are you happy about that? We're not even on speaking terms because of you."

"Because of me? No, you're getting it all wrong. It was YOUR decision to go sleep with that guy named... erm... named... Well, I forgot his name, but you slept with him! I had to use the $500 you left me to catch a cab to the airport! Then I had to buy a plane ticket back to Lotus City! It was your fault for putting me in that situation!" She was silent after I said that. She knew I was right! Before I could waste another minute in my house, I quickly walked out of the house and made my way back into Tim's backyard.

 

As I walked back to my lawn chair, I noticed Johnny and Mylo went missing. Tim was still grilling, but I wasn't planning on asking him where they went. "I'm glad your back, Rezzy," Tim said while keeping his attention to the grill. "Just put the fireworks in the garage." Shit! I had completely forgot about the fireworks! I was scared of what Tim's reaction might have been if I told him that I forgot the fireworks. There was only one excuse I had in mind, though. What's the risk?

"Yeah, about that...," I said. "The fireworks stand that I went to didn't have anymore fireworks to sell. I'm sorry about that, Tim."

"Oh, okay," Tim said in disappointment. I swear, I thought Tim was going to cry all because I forgot about the fireworks.

"Are you okay, Tim?" I said, just to be sure. "You sound like you're about to cry."

"You won't understand," Tim said as he wiped a tear that was rolling down his cheek. "I'll explain when burgers are ready."

"Right," I said as I opened another can of Pepsi.

 

Mylo and Johnny walked back into the backyard with the onions in a bag that read "The Q Store". As Johnny took a seat in his lawn chair, Mylo placed the onions on the table where all the condiments are.

"So when do we meet up with Josh across the street for the firework competition that you agreed to compete in later tonight?" Johnny said.

"What firework competition?" I said. "Tim, is there something you're not telling me?"

"I thought you knew," Tim said while he was still concentrated on the grill. "Josh and I are going to pop fireworks on the street when the sun sets and we're going to see who can put the best firework display on."

"What's the prize?" I asked.

"Oh, there is no prize, Rezzy," Mylo said.

"Actually," Tim said, "there is a prize. It's bragging rights! That's why we need fireworks that Rezzy failed to supply us with! Oh, wait, burgers are ready. Let's eat first then we'll all go get fireworks."

 

2

After we ate Tim's disgusting burnt burgers, we made a trip to the fireworks stand in the parking lot of the Q Store. By the time we arrived to the stand, we saw how long of a line there was for last-minute firework shoppers. Tim was thoughtful enough to drop Johnny, Mylo and I off to wait in line while he parked his car. As we were standing in line and waited for Tim to park his car, a couple walked up behind us and waited in line as well. The couple didn't seem too happy together, though. They kept arguing about how they should save money for the baby. They were arguing so much with each other about it that I almost forgot what I was standing in line for. I could see from Mylo and Johnny's faces that they were annoyed with the arguing couple as well.

"When do you think they'll ever shut up?" Mylo whispers to me. I didn't want to even get started on that topic, so in order for me to refrain myself from beginning a rant on arguing couples, I just shrugged instead.

"It's not a matter of when," Johnny said, "but a matter of if they'll shut up."

"I concur," I said. "That's a big "if"."

 

Tim finally joined us to wait in line for fireworks. While we were waiting, Tim took out all of the cash he had in his wallet and counted.

"Shit," Tim said. "I don't think we'll have enough for the fireworks we want."

"How much do you have?" Johnny asked.

"I have only $52 cash on me," Tim said.

"Let's all chip in," I said as I took out all of the cash I had in my wallet. It's only ten dollars I was giving up, so it wasn't really much of a loss for me. Johnny also had the same amount of cash on hand as I. It's a different story for Mylo, though. He took out $300 in cash and gave it to Tim. We all looked at him wondering how he managed to even have that much money on him in cash.

"What?" Mylo said as we all stared at him. "When you work for Nunez Landscaping, you get paid decent paychecks."

"Right," Tim said in disbelief as he took our money.

 

After that, it felt like I was standing in line for hours. Time slowly dragged by as I tried to ignore the arguing couple and the odd conversations Tim were having with Mylo and Johnny. Of course, trying to ignore them only made it worse for me. I felt a tap on my shoulder prompting me to turn around, only to notice that it was the boyfriend of the arguing couple that tapped my shoulder.

"I seem to be short on cash," he said to me. "May you please lend me some money for fireworks?"

"I'm sorry," I said. I then pointed to Tim, saying "All of the money I had I gave to him. Go bother him about it." He then forced his way ahead of me in line just to pester Tim into giving him some money. As I was annoyed, I saw Tim's facial expressions as the boyfriend was talking to him. Obviously he was annoyed just as much as I was.

"You have money," he said to Tim. "I need some of that dough to get some fireworks!"

"Oh gosh," Tim said with a sigh. "If you know you don't have enough money for fireworks, then why did you even bother to pay the fireworks stand for a visit in the first place?"

"He has a point," I said to the boyfriend.

"Shut up," the boyfriend said to me. "I was obviously talking to your stingy friend over here; not you." That made me furious. As much as I wanted to kick his ass, I simply didn't. Not only was it because that I didn't want to escalate the situation, I also didn't want to risk ruining some probation thing that the judge had placed me on for that incident my dad dragged me into. I digress, though.

 

I refrained myself from further interfering with the business he tried to make with Tim. Constantly I just kept hearing Tim say things like "No, go sell yourself and get your own money!" I couldn't help but to laugh a bit. Okay, I lied. It was not just a little bit of laughter from me, it was a lot. Tim managed to survive through the pestering boyfriend and bought fireworks. Since we didn't want to deal with the couple anymore, especially the boyfriend, we quickly loaded the fireworks into Tim's car and hurried back to Tim's house.

 

3

We finally arrived back into Tim's backyard, and were seated comfortably in the lawn chairs. While Mylo, Johnny and I continued to sip on Pepsi, Tim decided to make room in the garage for the fireworks for the time being. I went into the garage with Tim so that I could help him. It was something I regret doing, actually. Everytime I try to help someone, it backfires on me, especially this time.

 

As I was moving some boxes in the garage, Tim told me he had to take a break and went back inside the house for a few minutes. Moments later I saw a car parked on the side of the road along next to the curb. It was a red Toyota Prius, a car that I'm not quite familiar with. As far as I can remember, I don't recall anyone that I know of who drives a red Toyota Prius. I looked closely and noticed the two people inside of the car. Next thing I knew, the people in the car were actually the arguing couple. They followed us to Tim's house and now has me questioning about both of their lives, as I see that they clearly don't have one. How do I know? I saw them ran out of their car and took the fireworks out of Tim's car that he left unlocked. The best part about it was that I didn't do anything to stop them.

 

Minutes later, the couple left with all of the fireworks the they stole and drove off. Tim then walked back into the garage with a huge smile on his face, not knowing the fireworks were gone.

"Let's start getting those fireworks out of my car," Tim said with excitement.

"Yes," I said with a smirk on my face, "let's go do that indeed." This has been the best 4th of July yet.

 

© Anthony Romero, 2013

[Matter-Eater Lad]

Cool story bro.

[Reilly]

Cool story bro.

 

You so two thousand and late.

[Matter-Eater Lad]

Talk to the hand because the face aint listening.