Sally_

I love this joke! It's pretty long but here it is... For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone!!!! Don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know! Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dailed it. A man answered nicely saying. "Hello?" I politely said, "This is Patrick Hannifin and I could I please speak to Robin Carter?" Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robins corrected number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits incorrectly. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once again answered, I yelled "You're a jackass!"and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jackass" and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or having a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and I'd yell, "Your're a jackass!" It would always cheer me up. Later in the year the phone company introduced caller id.This was a real disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the jackass. Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard his voice. "Hello." I made a name up. "Hi, this is Mike Smith with the sales office of the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller id program." He went, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said "Thats because you're a jackass!" The reason I took the time to tell you this storym is to show you how if theres ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it. Just dial 823-4863. Having A Bad Day Part 2 An old lady at the mall took a really long time pulling out of her parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally she got the car in reverse and began to move... very slowly backing out of the space. I backed up a little more to give her plently of room. Great, I thought, she's finally leaving. All of a sudden this black camaro comes flying up the parking aisle and pulls into her space. I started honking my horn yelling, "You can't do that buddy. I was here first!" The guy climbed out of his camaro completely ignoring me. He walked towards the mall as if he didn't even hear me. I thought to myself, this guys a jackass, there sure are alot of jackasses in this world. Then I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park. A couple days later I'm at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling "you're a jackass!"(It's really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dail.) I noticed the number of the guy with the black camaro lying on my desk and I thought I'd better call this guy too. After a couple of rings someone answered the phone, "Hello?" I said, "Is this the man with the black camaro for sale?" "Yes it is." " Can you tell me where I can see it?" "Yes I live at 1802 West 49th street. It's a yellow house and the cars parked right out front." I said, "Whats your name?" "My name is Don Hansen." "Whens a good time to catch you Don?" "I'm home in the evenings." "Listen Don, can I tell you something?" "Yes." "Don, your a jackass!" And I slammed down the phone. After I hung up I added Don to my spped dialer. For a while, things seemed to be going well for me. Now when I had a problem, I had two jackasses to call. Then, after several months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution. First I had to call Jackass #1. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?" I yelled, "You're a jackass!" but I didn't hand up. The jackass said, "are you still there?" I said, "Yeah." He said, "Stop calling me." I said, "No." He said, "Whats your name pal?" I said, "Don Hansen." He said, "Where do you live?" "1802 West 49th Street. It's a yellow house with a black camaro parked out front." "I'm coming over right now Don, you better start saying your prayers. "Yeah, like I'm really scared Jackass!" and I hung up. Then I called Jackass #2. He answered, "Hello?" I said, "Hello, Jackass!" He said, "If I ever find out who you are...." "You'll what?" "I'll kick your butt!" "Well heres your chance. I'm coming over right now Jackass!" And I hung up. Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at 1802 West 49th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home. Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down West 49th Street. After that I climbed in my car and head over to West 49th Street to watch the whole thing. Glorious! Two jackasses kicking the crap out of each other infront of 6 squad cars, a police helicoptor and channel 13 news cameras!!! It was one of the greatest experiences of my life! Name withheld to protect the guilty. :lol: I think that is so funny!

your mama is so fat she tripped on walmart, went over kmart and landed right on target. your mama is so fat I tried to drive around her but ran out of gas. your mama is just like a vaccum cleaner, she sucks, she blows and gets laid in the closet :lol: your mama is so fat she walked in front of the tv and you missed 3 episodes. your mama is so fat she got a flesh eating diesease and the doctor gave her 5 years to live :stunned: :lol: your mama is so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs. your mama is so ugly she went into a beauty parlor and it took 3 hours for an estimate. your mama is so ugly she walked outside and people started singing "who let the dogs out!" and thats all I've got :P :D :lol:

okay! I'll look at it tonight then! :D :kiss: :lol:

ah poo! I hoped to be the first person! :D :kiss:

has anyone found the hidden messages yet amanda?

I don't know why people think cows make a mooing sound... It doesn't sound like they're saying moo at all :P

lol, okay! :lol:

why is lorraine embarrassing? its not that bad a name? :confused:

thats so cool sarah! :D

catherine

au revoir emma!

Mais oui... je comprendre un peu, je parle tres tres peu.... j'aime mon chat, Rudy! :lol: :D

ah oui oui mon amie! I'm supposed to know alot but I don't pay attention in class :stunned: :D

lol all you guys are so funny! :lol:

oui oui! moi aussi!

I've got a few... Bedknobs and Broomsticks Finding Nemo 101 Dalmations Hercules Mulan Swiss Family Robinson I can't think of any others at the moment but I'll think of some more...

thanks fifi! I love it too! :D

I'll go in and see what this chatroom is all about :D :sneaky: :rolleyes: :lol:

yup I get that too...it can get annoying

tee hee! so funny! :lol: lol...man...that sounds weird when you say it in a high squeeky voice... :stunned:

*gasp* they can't break up :cry: sorry I over reacted alittle :D but they can't break up they're doing so well!

johnny depp is gonna be willy wonka! that is so awesome! I love him in all his movies! is this movie gonna be a musical? can johnny sing? :huh: just some questions...

YAH! :lol: *moo*

I'm off to soccer!

yea, but I don't know it... I should.. all of our cows have names but the cows don't know them... we just use them for breeding...