DrPolitik

Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either. I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock. Some people are going to leave a mark on this world, while others will leave a stain. If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic :stunned: :stunned: :lol: :lol: :lol:

:lol: :/ :lol:

me right now: Spoon Electric 6 QOTSA Interpol Elbow the Faint and for comedy value Har Mar Superstar :P

How to impress a woman... Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.... How to impress a man... Show up naked. With Beer. :stunned: :dozey: :lol:

The Meek shall inherit the earth.. ...after we're through with it. JESUS IS COMING!...Look Busy I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it. :stunned: :stunned: :rolleyes:

Ham and Eggs. Just a day's work for a chicken but a lifetime commitment for a pig LMAO!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it. W.C. Fields Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Will Rogers (1879-1935) Sincerity is the key. If you can fake that, you've got it made. George Burns :lol: and many many more @ : http://www.fishtank.org.uk/humour/humour.php3?article=Fortunes.Quotes oh that site is just too much! :lol:

the pizza ones are golden!!! I've GOT to try those out some time!!! :lol:

In a recent television show in the UK, actor and comedian John Cleese explained three reasons why the British are superior to Americans: 1. They speak English. 2. When they host a world championship they invite other countries. 3. Visitors to the head of state are only expected to go down on one knee. :stunned: :lol:

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George Carlin :lol: :lol:

Lady Astor:"Winston, you are drunk" Winston Churchill: "Yes my dear, but you are ugly, and in the morning I shall be sober" :stunned: :lol:

oh oh, read these! http://www.fishtank.org.uk/humour/humour.php3?article=Starwars.Pants & http://www.fishtank.org.uk/humour/humour.php3?article=General.Ways%20To%20Order%20Pizza I remember the 1st time I read them I was ROTFLMAO w/ tears in my eyes :lol:

you can do it if you put your ass into it :dozey: someone must've been laughing their ass off :cool:

ohhh! you should read some of the articles page sometime, some funny stuff! I like this :P

:lol:

another success story here at the Easy Methodone Driving School

i like the line about the roses and the very last line :lol:

mmmmmm...wurd imma get my drink on then go piss up barry's tree, god I can't stand that asshole... :angry: shit wish I had 2 straws now...

A Cynics Guide To Life The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire. I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows. And a foundation leaks And a ball game gets rained out And a car rusts and... Follow your dream! Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill. Always take time to stop and smell the roses... and sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either, just leave me alone. If you don't like my driving, don't call anyone. Just take another road. That's why the highway department made so many of them. If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek. Nothing gets the message across like a good mooning. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. A handy telephone tip: Keep a small chalkboard near the phone. That way, when a salesman calls, you can hold the receiver up to it and run your fingernails across it until he hangs up. Each day I try to enjoy something from each of the four food groups: the bonbon group, the salty-snack group, the caffeine group, and the "whatever-the-thing-in-the-tinfoil-in-the-back-of-the-fridge-is" group. Into every life some rain must fall. Usually when your car windows are down. Just remember... You gotta break some eggs to make a real mess on the neighbor's car! When you find yourself getting irritated with someone, try to remember that all men are brothers... and just give them a noogie or an Indian burn. This morning I woke up to the unmistakable scent of pigs in a blanket. That's the price you pay for letting the relatives stay over. It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot. Keep your nose to the grindstone and your shoulder to the wheel...it's cheaper than plastic surgery. This land is your land. This land is my land. So stay on your land and get off my land Love is like a roller coaster: when it's good you don't want to get off, and when it isn't... you can't wait to throw up. :dozey:

pic won't load so here's the link, that sites pretty cool too btw :cool: http://www.fishtank.org.uk/humour/picture.php3?picture=RealLife.BPs%20Price%20Rise%20Apology.jpg

:cool:

oh man..GOOOOOOOD IDEA!!! But I could quite easily get addicted and never get anything done now!! :lol:

mmmmmmmm yeah baby grrr who's your daddy, do i look like ACDC yet?.....mmmmmmmm oh baby I hope this is the last song b/c this is giving me some ideas....

:lol:

for that photo: Chris: And i'm telling you the thing was THIS big!!!..boys genetically modified Chickens are the way to go! You'll never need a thing to eat all day after one of their eggs let me tell you!