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Never lie to your mother

Featured Replies

Never lie to you mother

 

A YOUNG MAN CALLED PETER INVITED HIS MOTHER FOR DINNER.

DURING THE COURSE OF THE MEAL, HIS MOTHER COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE HOW HANDSOME PETER'S FLATMATE WAS. SHE HAD LONG BEEN SUSPICIOUS OF A RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE TWO AND THIS ONLY MADE HER MORE CURIOUS.

OVER THE COURSE OF THE EVENING, WHILE WATCHING THE TWO INTERACT,SHE STARTED TO WONDER IF THERE WAS MORE BETWEEN PETER AND HIS FLATMATE THAN MET THE EYE.

 

READING HIS MUM'S THOUGHTS, PETER VOLUNTEERED,

I KNOW WHAT YOU MUST BE THINKING, BUT I ASSURE YOU, SIMON & I

ARE JUST FLATMATES".

 

ABOUT A WEEK LATER, SIMON CAME TO PETER SAYING,

EVER SINCE YOUR MOTHER CAME TO DINNER, I'VE BEEN UNABLE TO FIND

THE FRYING PAN, YOU DON'T SUPPOSE SHE TOOK IT DO YOU?"

WELL, I DOUBT IT, BUT I'LL E-MAIL HER JUST TO BE SURE," SAID

PETER, SO HE SAT DOWN AND WROTE:

 

DEAR MOTHER,

 

I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID" TAKE THE FRYING PAN FROM MY HOUSE, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID NOT" TAKE THE FRYING PAN, BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IT HAS BEEN MISSING EVER SINCE YOU WERE HERE FOR DINNER.

LOVE PETER.

 

SEVERAL DAYS LATER, PETER RECEIVED AN E-MAIL FROM HIS MOTHER

WHICH READ:

 

DEAR SON,

 

I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DO" SLEEP WITH SIMON, AND I'M NOT

SAYING THAT YOU

DO NOT" SLEEP WITH SIMON, BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IF HE WAS

SLEEPING IN

HIS OWN BED, HE WOULD HAVE FOUND THE FRYING PAN BY NOW.

 

LOVE MUM.

Ian's drunk.

 

You grab the legs I'll take the shoulders.

hehe :lol: :lol:

 

well he's writing with capital letters and that's not usual on him :thinking:

They already are :uhoh:

 

In our ballroom dance, I take lead. Im just not effeminate :/

  • Author
hehe :lol: :lol:

 

well he's writing with capital letters and that's not usual on him :thinking:

 

I didn't write that, I'd be here all night :lol:

you posted it with capital letters... like mr. aight use to do :thinking:

 

well surely you copy and paste it from some mail... :idea2:

Blimey!! When I read the thread title I thought you were about to admit something!! :lol:

Blimey!! When I read the thread title I thought you were about to admit something!! :lol:

 

Me too! :lol:

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