Now Spain brands Crouch 'the two metre asparagus'

 

 

Tall order: England's Peter Crouch

 

Peter Crouch thought he had heard all the jibes about his 6ft 7in frame - 'beanpole', 'bambi on ice' plus those hilarious inquiries about whether it is 'snowing up there'.

But even Crouchy has never before been called an 'espárrago de dos-metro' - a 'two metre asparagus'.

The description, coined by a Spanish journalist writing about England World Cup campaign, is one of an array of unsporting insults hurled at our lanky hitman - despite his crucial late goal against Trinidad & Tobago on Thursday.

The writer, from El Pais, called the England team 'flat, grotesque and contaminating', adding: 'Eriksson decided to make Crouch, a two-metre asparagus, the constant reference point'.

Equally bizarre - and unkind - was the man from Italy's La Repubblica, who said the team had won through to the knockout stages 'thanks to a big stork (maybe with avian flu) called Peter Crouch, whose football sounds as bad as his name and whose photos can't be published even in a family scrapbook'.

Even countries which share our language have been reaching for peculiar descriptions of Crouchy.

Sports Illustrated in America, dismissed the team's gameplan as being 'content to kick the ball from side to side a bit, then hoof one over the top, hoping it might find the noggin atop Peter Crouch's gangly frame'.

O Jogo in Portugal called him a 'battering ram' which broke Trinidadian resistance after 'Beckham managed to put some spice into the dish that England began heating up', while Argentina's La Nación condemned England's 'boring' football, blaming it on 'Crouch, that really tall and thin muse'.

Other baffling verdicts from the world's Press included:

• 'No one knows what fate has in store for the English in this World Cup, but yesterday Her Royal Highness's subjects entered the competition on tiptoe' - Le Parisien, France.

• 'England played without any good smell or taste' - Sportski Zurnal, Serbia.

• 'We continue to ask ourselves many questions about this team which has more big names than big ideas' - L'Equipe, France. • And perhaps most cuttingly: 'They want to win their first World Cup for 40 years. They're not going to like that' - Bild am Sonntag, German

:bigcry:

aw poor crouch! that's harsh :( you must admit, he has pretty tricky footwork for such a tall person, i'm kinda impressed w/ that.

 

but wtf, ASPARAGUS?!?!

awww ... now we're all so sad :cry:

 

mhh ... we all know that the press is writing bad stuff everday so we shouldn't be concerned anymore :dozey:

Bring in Rooney and shit on fucking everybody en route to the final ;)

well put Bee

 

Couldnt have said it better myself

 

:)

well put Bee

 

Couldnt have said it better myself

 

:)

 

A "hornet" agreeing with a "bee"??:P

sooo what...

 

maybe Crouch didn't make good moves at the beggin of the game....but he made the first gol....but hey the english team is going to the next round...what about that....!!

lol

 

http://fifaworldcup.yahoo.com/06/en/w/photos/index.html?i=102&d=1

England could be playing sooo much better...hope we see that in the next round ...they better step up and as Busybee said ...bring in Rooney lol

well, i guess that crouchyboy won't play today :(

 

 

love that commercial btw

^ nope, he won't.

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/world_cup_2006/teams/england/5092190.stm

asparagus 1 chorizo 0

 

http://www.dothecrouch.com