SUV drivers: the hoodies on wheels

[Jenjie]

Why do I detest the regiments of Chelsea tractors with their vast metal backsides? Let me count the ways

 

I think I’m going to hug an SUV driver. As David Cameron said of hoody-wearers this week, they need our love and understanding. Indeed these two urban tribes — the skulking teenager brimming with attitude and the tiny stressed mother encased in her monster vehicle — are manifestations of the same mindset. Both are, as Mr Cameron put it, “more defensive than offensive”, trying to stake out space, to keep the scary, maddening, overcrowded city at bay.

 

Yet, in doing so, both physically menace the rest of us. If I take the short cut to Sainsbury’s through the flats after dark, a bunch of hoodies heading my way always makes me clutch the strap of my bag, calculate how much cash I’m carrying, where I put my keys. They dress like every South London Press photofit of a carjacker, tooled-up mugger, gang-rapist . . . For a second, I consider changing course. Then they pass and I see they’re just gormless, lunking kids, a few sizes up from my own.

 

And the SUV drivers looming down my street at school-run hour, like some trendy tank regiment, how do I hate them? Let me count the ways. Who do they think they are, up there, looking down at the rest of us, evil bullbars at child-head height, spreading their monstrous metal backsides across two supermarket spaces? “My kids are safe,” they say. “That’s all that counts. So screw you, tin-can drivers and saddo cyclists, your kids and the whole planet too.”

 

Such is my prejudice I never, ever let SUV drivers in at junctions. I scowl at their drivers at the lights. I’d never key their bodywork, but I might smirk if I saw a scratch. When I heard that Coldplay’s Chris Martin recently crashed his BMW X5 — a muscular, black-windowed SUV nicknamed “The Intimidator” — every fair-trade, forest-planting word he ever uttered was rendered void.

 

And I’m far from alone. Campaigners slap spoof parking tickets on SUV windscreens headed “Poor Vehicle Choice”. The New Economics Foundation described 4x4s as “Satan’s little runarounds”. Now Ken Livingstone has announced that “Chelsea tractors” will pay £25 a day congestion charge (ordinary cars pay £8).

 

So perhaps it’s time — as with hoodies — to examine whether this anti-SUV feeling is righteous anger or a conduit for other fears and loathings. Why, for example, is the same vitriol not directed at equally colossal people-carriers? Well, it’s hard to hate what you pity: driving a hired Ford Galaxy last summer, I’ve never felt more like a dreary, drudgy, brood-mare Mrs Mum.

 

Or what of my own Volvo estate, which glugs down just as much fuel in the city as an average 4x4 and is so unwieldy I end up doing those embarassing seven-point turns for which female SUV drivers are so infamous. Well, Volvos are worthy, ugly, the sensible footwear of family driving.

 

Or why does no one glower at a classic rich-boy Mercedes, whose “footprint” is larger than many 4x4s and is double the price? Well, this is discreet affluence slipstreaming past in the fast lane.

 

SUVs represent everything most hated by the British middle classes: ostentatious wealth enjoyed by the careless rich and copied by the aspirational working class. They are bling-mobiles, flashy and meretricious. Hatred for them is wrapped up in snobbery and anti-Americanism, hence the adoption of the insult “gas guzzlers”.

 

Only if SUV drivers have a second home do we forgive them. Pricing locals out of rural housing and commuting 300 miles every weekend is hardly green: but hanging out in Gloucestershire, dragging a horse box, denotes old money. As long as you’re not driving one just to show off . . .

 

Worst of all, 4x4s are driven by women who — since they had careers and status before kids — now refuse to squeeze their egos into little wifey runabouts. SUVs say: “I do the mum thing, but it doesn’t define me and I still care how I look.” These same women buy those aisle-blocking off-road pushchairs: they won’t be meek or small. Their reaction to their own urban anxiety — of traffic, violence, lurking hoodies — is to hold their ground.

 

The point is that an SUV does not congest a city any more than any other car in a beeping queue. Some models score worse in pedestrian safety tests than ordinary saloons, others about the same. Likewise their CO2 emissions: if Ken Livingstone uses the same criteria as Gordon Brown in his last Budget, boring Mondeos could pay £25 a pop, while Land Rover Freelanders go in for £8.

 

The point is that everyone should get out of their cars, including London’s mayor who claims virtue while travelling everywhere by expense-account taxi. Yet black cabs are far too expensive to count as true public transport. Whenever I take one, whizzing down the bus lanes, I feel like a Soviet- era politician in that special lane party bosses reserved for their Zil limousines.

 

British people make a pathetic 12 per cent of journeys on foot. Yet we condemn the road terrorist in the Terrano, while tootling our own motor down to the shops. An SUV packed with a school-run rota of kids is better for everyone than three one-child small cars. That is the way to tackle congestion: hate the car, understand the driver.

 

http://www.timesonline.co.uk

[ApproximatelyInfinite]

my god. it surprises the hell out of me that chris would come within 10 feet of an SUV. are we sure this is true? maybe it was a smaller BMW? god i hope so, because that would make me very disappointed.

[KM]

Looked pretty big to me. Did you see the pics?

[mainweather]

I didn't know he drove an SUV. Makes me rethink some things.

 

Campaigners slap spoof parking tickets on SUV windscreens headed “Poor Vehicle Choice”.

 

That's amazing. I should really start doing that around my city.

[victaniac]

It's true Chris and Gwyneth have an SUV, it's visible in tons of pap pics, usually of Gwyneth when out with the kiddies. Sad the article fails to mention that Chris himself always uses his motorbike, the SUV is their family car.

 

I honestly don't understand the mentality that just because one is environmentally aware, one has to apply this concept to every single aspect of life. It is not enough that Chris promotes making trade fair every change he gets? Not enough they made ARoBttH (and X&Y) CarbonNeutral after they realized that carbon dioxide is created in production.. not enough they planted 10,000 Mango trees in India, have supported forest preservation in Mexico, have made forest conservation projects in Ecuador (which have preserved tons of endangered/threatened species)? When is it enough?

 

So I can't help but wonder if this article was printed or not.. because if it was, I so wanna know the exact elements of the material used! Whether the ink was soy or petroleum based, what kind of paper was used and if his printing and pressing machinery are all environmentally friendly! :laugh4:

[thescientist06]

It's true Chris and Gwyneth have an SUV, it's visible in tons of pap pics, usually of Gwyneth when out with the kiddies. Sad the article fails to mention that Chris himself always uses his motorbike, the SUV is their family car.

 

I honestly don't understand the mentality that just because one is environmentally aware, one has to apply this concept to every single aspect of life. It is not enough that Chris promotes making trade fair every change he gets? Not enough they made ARoBttH (and X&Y) CarbonNeutral after they realized that carbon dioxide is created in production.. not enough they planted 10,000 Mango trees in India, have supported forest preservation in Mexico, have made forest conservation projects in Ecuador (which have preserved tons of endangered/threatened species)? When is it enough?

 

Well, I agree with the article. If you're passionate about something and you seem to stick by everything you say and what you stand for, why throw it away on a vehicle that helps kill the environment? What about a nice hybrid? When you're an activist celebrity, it is never enough. Sure, he's done a lot for the environment, but it's not difficult to go ahead and speak for it with your car as well. He's plenty rich. He can afford a nice car and still make a bit of more difference.

[cpfan50]

It is a shame that they have that kind of car. They are a nighmare in London and totally unecessary when you live in a city. But I guess you'd want a big, solid car when you're being chased by paps all the time. They can be pretty aggressive when they are chasing celebs in their cars - you hear of them literally bumping cars off the road. Gwyneth probably worries about her kids in the back... :(

[alyssa]

Uh, we own an SUV.

 

Dude, everyone I know has an SUV.

 

I guess they're quite unwelcome in the UK. :uhoh:

[alyssa]

Or everywhere... :uhoh:

[coldplay_97]

i really dont see how it matters. He makes his contribution to the environment by planting new trees and going to third world contries. but Mtf is about Making "tade" fair.. not making Air clean. He is also a family man so he needs something a bit larger to fit his kids bucket seats and groceries i suppose.. i cant see him in some Honda civic hybrid. Were also in no place to judge what he drives... im sure if we all had money we would drive a nice car too.

 

 

anyways i had these saved on my comp

[victaniac]

Well' date=' I agree with the article. If you're passionate about something and you seem to stick by everything you say and what you stand for, why throw it away on a vehicle that helps kill the environment? What about a nice hybrid? When you're an activist celebrity, [b']it is never enough[/b]. Sure, he's done a lot for the environment, but it's not difficult to go ahead and speak for it with your car as well. He's plenty rich. He can afford a nice car and still make a bit of more difference.

It's true, he could do more. Just like everyone, in theory, can always do more. Which is why I don't agree with that article. I would like to see how much the writer is doing for himself, besides putting other's environmental efforts down of course. Either way, aren't there hybrid versions of the BMW X5? How does anyone know it isn't?

 

 

My fam owns two SUVs too, Alyssa.. :worried:

[ApproximatelyInfinite]

Well' date=' I agree with the article. If you're passionate about something and you seem to stick by everything you say and what you stand for, why throw it away on a vehicle that helps kill the environment? What about a nice hybrid? When you're an activist celebrity, [b']it is never enough[/b]. Sure, he's done a lot for the environment, but it's not difficult to go ahead and speak for it with your car as well. He's plenty rich. He can afford a nice car and still make a bit of more difference.

 

yes, i totally agree. and its not like i hate chris now or anything, NEVER!! but i just figured that, i dunno, since he's so environmentally conscious that they'd get a new hybrid one (its not like they cant afford it) or something. and i did figure it was for the kiddies, but what bothers me is that something like 85% of SUV drivers are moms that dont want to own minivans and be the "soccer mom" type. my question is why do you need such a big car for a family of four? its not like theres extra seatingin the BMW X5, and the toyota prius has a huge trunk.

 

im not saying chris is a bad person or shouldnt have it or that i think differently of him, im just surprised by it. he may have a very good reason for having a car like that. and i wish that more families, especially in the US, would weigh the options before buying an SUV and ask themselves what the advantages are over a smaller car. especially with the insane gas prices.

 

im such a little hippie :hippy: :daisy:

[psychosaiqa]

Uh, we own an SUV.

 

Dude, everyone I know has an SUV.

 

I guess they're quite unwelcome in the UK. :uhoh:

pretty much everywhere except america...cuz they don't fit anywhere else :P we have an SUV too, if you live in suburbia or middle class or white america, you own an SUV.

[ApproximatelyInfinite]

pretty much everywhere except america...cuz they don't fit anywhere else :P we have an SUV too' date=' if you live in suburbia or middle class or white america, you own an SUV.[/quote']

 

its true that lots of people own SUVs, but i hate to think of it like that!!! lol.

i live in a really affluent part of CT and go to a private school, so theyre everywhere and it makes me cringe. and i dont own one, thank god. :laugh3:

[thescientist06]

my dad owns a small SUV that he got after his little car was crashed into. He got a big one just because he's a tall guy and didn't want to keep getting into a little car.

I drive his old car though :D

But I wouldn't ever live in the suburbs. That's where I draw the lines.

[thescientist06]

i really dont see how it matters. He makes his contribution to the environment by planting new trees and going to third world contries. but Mtf is about Making "tade" fair.. not making Air clean. He is also a family man so he needs something a bit larger to fit his kids bucket seats and groceries i suppose.. i cant see him in some Honda civic hybrid. Were also in no place to judge what he drives... im sure if we all had money we would drive a nice car too.

 

He's a spokesperson for the environment too. pretty much anyone who speaks out for third world countries is also very environment savvy. and like I said earlier, he's a celebrity and it's never enough. there's always people like us who are disappointed in his car choice. We can judge him, we're his fans, we're the public who watches him constantly. We go out and we become obsessed with planting trees and drawing equal signs on our hands because "Chris Martin does it". We donate money to the ONE campaign and we contact our politicians, the ones we hate so much who drive the big ugly SUVs that clog the environment and help make Los Angeles look and feel like a death trap.

 

</rant>

 

Anyway, it's a big deal.

[boomslang]

i agree with coldplay_97, when has chris ever been a spokesman for the environment? they do alot great things for the envronment like victaniac mentioned but he's not a spokesman for it. he has never said to go out and plant trees. but he has said to talk about MTF as much as possible, because coldplay's main goal is to make trade fair and that my friend, had little to do with what car you drive.

 

also, i don't care if you're a fan or not, no one has the right to judge anyone else. chris makes music, he sells music. he's not selling his personal life to you therefore no one has any right to judge that. you can judge his music because he's willingly putting that out there, but the line has to be drawn somewhere. you as a fan should know that.

[thescientist06]

Coldplay bought a shit load of forest somewhere to help save trees. Tell me that's not helping the environment.

 

Whether it's our right or not, celebrities are judged. I'm not judging him, I'm just saying it happens. I'm just kinda disappointed. That's all. Just because you campaign for one cause doesn't mean you don't believe in another. All I'm sayin'