Have you ever decided you need to make a major change in your life, and changed everything? Like a realisation?

 

Its a very special time I think, very challenging, to think about breaking the moulds of the past is one thing, but its very exciting at that point to see if you can actually do it.

 

I think I'm having one, I need to go through with it though, for at least a month or two.

 

I'm so emotional lately, I'm up and down, manic depressive. I'm over thinking everything, I'm not achieving enough, I'm letting life and everyday just slide by. I need to make a change.

 

I've given up drugs, including alcahol. Not forever, but until I get to the point where I feel they dont have to complete my day. Drugs will be fine, because its so antisocial and I'm living with my parents for the summer, it was actually getting hard to do it. If I find myself in social situations it may be kindof difficult, but I've also been spending way too much money so I'm not going to go out and party like a wildchild anymore.

 

Alcahol however, that will be hard. Just seeing 5 of my dads miller's sitting in the fridge when I got home... Then again I wasnt struggling, but it did cross my mind, and that might get worse. Its only been 2 days since my last drink, so who knows.

 

I have to control myself around girls. I have to read more for my degree. And for gods sake, I have to start waking up earlier, no more moaning around my room until 2pm licking my wounds and feeling sorry for myself about some girl who I dont even love.

 

This post will be vital to me in a week, to see my progress/regress.

 

So, anyone else just sat down and realised one day, I HAVE TO CHANGE

 

??!?!??!

Hmm Reilly..........

 

I've known for over a year that I have to change but it is so damn difficult. It's something deeper than facts. It is knowing that you can't change the past but it is very present on every breath you take. It hurts to breathe, this chest pain..and knowing it's nothing physical, but emotional. It is wanting to hide out but it follows you no matter where you are... It's wanting to say all those things but you hold back because you are ashame. I'm ashame..and I'm still very angry. It is knowing that you need help but feel that you don't deserve it. It is not knowing how to forgive yourself or if you'll ever will be able to.

I think people come to the realisation that they need to make changes everyday. I know I do anyway, but the hard part is finding the motivation, and if you're lucky enough to be driven to do so, it's difficult to keep it that way.

 

It sounds like you're trying to tackle everything at the one time and that's gonna be hella difficult! I mean the drugs and alcohol stuff might be alright for you to let go of, but just don't become anti-social (I don't mean that you NEED these things to be sociable) like if you want to avoid the temptations and peer pressure then you may find yourself becoming isolated from your friends who may not understand what you're going through.

 

Anyway, best of luck with it Reilly and I think that you can do it because you're a strong character :)

Thanks Fi ;)

 

Well its becoming more and more clear why I have to change, and thats a positive thing. I need to find satisfaction in the more simple things, instead of the constant pursuing of a perfectly thrilling lifestyle, which is just impossible to live until the end of my life. Not every moment can be as brilliant as I want it to be, and I used to feel unfulfilled unless I was doing something interesting, it was hard to keep up with myself.

 

I've also quit sex :shocked2: Yeah. Really. Is it considered celibate when you only plan on doing it for a few months?

 

I dunno, I decided its another important part of my life that I need to live without for a while. Its not going to be easy though.

 

From the original post, I've achieved most of the things that I wanted, I'm becoming more productive and more like the person I want to be.

 

Drugs will be fine. Alcahol will be hard.

 

Damn did I ever mix that up, me getting the shakeys.

good Luck................:D.If you r sure of what you've written i think you'll reach in your proposal of changing :)!

I'm so impressed Reilly. Really. You must have a very strong will power for giving up all these things you're addicted to.

When I was about seven years old I was a crazy child, parents didn't pay me too much attention so I had to entertain myself by myself. So I made such things like, for example, giving up ice-cream for a weekend, haha. I mean, I used to do something just do change something. Like, what would my life be like if I, for example, will eat carrot every day for all week and sleep with my feet on my pillow? Seriously, I've been doing it. That's what I can think of when I'm really bored and lonely.

But doing something like that for real, like you're doing it now.... Hmm. There're not so many things to give up, actually. But I'd give up internet, chocolate, I'd make myself stop doing things which I know I'll regret three minutes later. I'd make myself to be not so over-thinking and worried, less anxious and nervious, I'd make myself give more for charity. But if I really do it one day I'll turn into an angel and fly far far away from here.

Thanks Valery and Nicko

 

I understand your feeling of wanting to change Valery, so I think you'll understand why I'm doing this (My friends dont). Just to change my life just a little bit, I have to make some drastic changes to myself.