... that my parents are getting divorced sooner or later.

 

and that sucks. :sick:

 

i mean, after "watching" them for all those years now i even came to the conclusion that it might be a good idea. but of course i still don't want them to split up, it's a horrible thought for me...

 

dammit... now's the time i pretty much wished i had already searched for a flat and moved out (because uni starts soon).

 

everything's just so... strage at home. ok, we've had these situations before, but it's different this time. more serious, i guess.

 

anyways, the reason i opened this thread is that i wanted to know if anyone experienced the same... and maybe you could give me some advise how to deal with a certain "chaos" at home because it really... pisses me off. :(

I feel my parents are heading the same way too :(

that's sad, dave... feel free to talk about it, if you want to.

 

maybe i should just stop getting involved in "their business" too much...

because they had another argument last weekend and since then my dad sleeps on the sofa every night. but i don't want him to, because i think it's way too uncomfortable (particularly after he got new hips and is still in pain every now and then) ...

so i talked to my mother, for hours, every day. and today i finally convinced her to let him back into the bed room. so she said "ok, tell him he can come back, but i'm sure he doesn't want to anyway" ...

i really had to laugh about that because i was SO SURE he'd be thankful about it and that they could make up and everything (he was always like that).

so when he got home tonight, i happily told him what i had achieved - and he told me he would rather continue to sleep on the sofa. :sick:

 

i mean, it just made me really, really sad...

They act all loving when either me or my brother is in the room, or when they are with friends, but when alone downstairs they don't talk that much.

oh man, really... my family situation isn't any different.

it's going good though...these days.

i've talked to Jack about my situation before because it's very private to be honest :nice:

whatsoever.

they've threatened each other with divorce so many times. they're still together though, but i'm a hundred percent sure that they've never loved one another. there's no week passing by that they're not having an argument.

sometimes i wished they had got divorced, but since things are fine these days i do not want to think about it.

i'm really sorry, Sarah and Dave. i totally understand your point.

i've talked to Jack about my situation before because it's very private to be honest :nice:

 

 

 

 

:D I feel well special.

 

 

On a more topic related note. My parents have been divorced for a few months now, but seperated for years.

 

When I was about 11, my parents split. My dad was an alcoholic ( I don't drink, personally ) and it led to him losing his 3 kids ( My brothers were 9 and 6, at the time ) and his wife, and his home.

 

We obviously went with my mam, and she raised us perfectly. We had contact with my dad for a while after he left, he was really local but it was clear he had problems, and as kids, we couldn't help. From 2001 or so, until May 11th this year, I didn't speak to my dad. Never came face to face with him. I've seen him maybe 3 times since, and I keep meaning to go see him again, it's just awkward.

 

In any case, he's cleaned himself up a lot, but he's still not healthy. He's 60 on October 1st, and in all honestly I'm suprised he got that far. Divorce is tough on children. I'm sure we'd have been able to manage it if it wasn't for my dad's illness, he was a very good dad before alcoholism took him over, and I think any divorce without the illness would have been fine for my brothers and me. If both parents love you enough, there should be no problems. Bitterness between eachother, if it becomes apparent, you need to put your parents in their place. My mam was understandably a bit uneasy when I told her I'd spoken to my dad, and would again. But she understands that I need to, cause I don't know what I'd have done if he'd gone and died before I got a chance.

 

 

Sometimes, even though it's not a nice process, it's better for parents to get divorced. My mam wouldn't have survived long if she didn't. We did good, any ways.

@grace: yeah, i also know those times when everything's going fine again, or at least when it looks like that - and then i really, really like it at home. i just hope that time will return soon, who knows...

 

@jack: wow, that's a tough story. alcohol can fuck so many things up, that's why i detest it, i really do.

there's so much truth in what you said, so thanks for answering... :)

 

 

well, but nothing is certain, not yet. tomorrow could still be different again...

It's not so bad when it happens when you are older and they decide to split up but it is bad when they split up and you are underage wayyyyyyyyyy underage. You can either get attached like nothing happened with both of them and build a relationship with them or they can chose the other way and you end up growing up alone I guess which is bad 'cause when you get older it gets more difficult as other issues come up that have to do with the same thing.

 

Best advice, don't get involved in their marriage. Go on with your plans and talk to them apart. It's just gonna end up making you feel more bad if you try to make things up for them.

Ooh well, I've same way like that too. But its not my parents. Its my mom's aunt as well. So from me, she's my grandma but not directly to my mom. Probably already passed away. And I heard before I was born, before she married with the man who is different reliance with her, he changed his reliance into the same as my grandma. And then after they were having children, the husband was decided to divorced my grandma. But before that, he return back again into his own reliance that he used to. I guess divorced is hard to decide, even with the people we loved from first moment we've seen until we try to avoid. So I'd better be say "no" to separated/divorced.

*Sorry if you don't understand what I'm saying because my English is still on progress and still really bad*:D

so, i really thought it was going okay again during the last days - and then tonight my dad drank again. although my mum had finally told him he had to decide between her (and me) and alcohol.

 

yeah, i'm really feeling as if my head's gonna explode every second. i don't even know why i'm telling you this, i guess i just need to tell someone.

I'm sorry you have to go through this, Sarah, I really am. It's good to vent these things out, and have people who understand help you through it. It's the beauty of these forums; you can express your feelings and every can understand and not judge you.

I'm very sorry, Sarah. Just stay away from their problems. It's the best you can do. Things will get better in the long run if both of them want it to : to puzzle out what's wrong and to fix it, or to split up.