The Estranged

[jamus]

Hey, to all. It's been awhile since I've been on here. Just got the new album and have been loving it.

 

Anyway, I just wanted to talk to you Coldplay fans (incredibly friendly and good-hearted people that you are) about a serious situation in my life. I'm 25 and thinking about cutting off all contact from my family. My family is fairly dysfunctional (at least I think: maybe most modern families are dysfunctional; but I'm damn sure mine is). I've had serious problems with my parents for some time. And I'm not a very forgiving person. I hate that about myself. But I do forgive in life. The problem with my parents is that they feel there is nothing they should be forgiven for regarding their relationship with me. So why should I forgive people who feel there is nothing they should be forgiven for? I can forgive them to myself. But there is also something called "forgive and forget" isn't it? In my case, it would be "forgive and move on." Rape victims forgive the ones who raped them, but they don't exactly invite them for tea every Sunday, do they? Maybe that's an unfair analogy, but I think my point is clear. I haven't loved my parents for some time; there are no feelings there. I'm the oldest of 3 boys, and I don't talk to them either. I feel very bad about this, since my brothers are just my peers, but I feel as if so much time has passed that none of us cares about building a relationship now. This situation is fairly heavy and concerns me. I just wanted to get your input. I'm feeling like I'm entering into a new realm of the human condition, a realm in which I can go to the grocery store and tell the estranged ones from everybody else; and we won't exactly look like the happiest people there. I'm feeling very depressed about my situation, but I feel as if it's the best thing to do. What do you think? I'd appreciate your response.

["*"*Claire*"*"]

Mmmm.. First of all.. are you sure that your parents did anything wrong to you? I mean, maybe you are too much severe with them.. Then, for your brothers.. I dunno what to say 'cause I'm only child.. I can understand your problems, but try to talk with your family before doing anything.. I'm sure that they love you and they would never make you sad.. Hope things will fix.. Best wishes :thumbsup:

[Saffire]

Do you still live with them? Some family relationships only work well when you see each other maybe once or twice a year. As sad as it sounds, usually the people we treat the worst are the ones we're closest to.

[Chavi]

That's a really serious and difficult decision to make. You should think this all through before doing anything and more importantly talk to your parents. A deep and long conversation in which you expose them how you really feel. If they dont want to talk to you, force them to and make them listen to you. I dont think cutting off all contact with your family is the right thing to do, it should never happen to anyone.. unless you're forced to, if they cause you real harm, and are very unhealthful. And your parents and brothers probably dont want you to do so.. even if in the worst possible case they'd say they do. Communication and efforts from both sides are what I would recommend. It might not be the solution to all your problems but it's a good start. Dont be so quick to walk away !

I hope you'll sort everything out soon !

[~ Sandy ~]

I don't know what happened with your family but if you feel so depressed I think it would be better if you talk with them.

And after that you will know what to do. Tell them everything ! You probably will feel more relieved.

I don't really know what to say to help you. It sounds really sad. Hope everything will be alright.