July 19, 2013 - submitted by Ali, United Kingdom

 

Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #128

I'm stuck. I have a job I hate, some of my friends are leeching my positivity, I drink too much... I honestly feel like my life is spiralling down. Have you any advice how to get out of this slump. I'm 29, single and pretty miserable. I want more from my life.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

It's good that you recognise and acknowledge your problems rather than ignore them. It's even better that you want to do something about it. Life's too short to be miserable but worry not, you can do something about it.

If you're a regular reader you'll know I'm all for goal setting so when I mention some tips for change, please don't panic or feel overwhelmed - take them as steps to a better life.

Sit down and work out a job/career change plan. Think about what you like doing and what you can see yourself doing every day. Look at whether you will need to re-train or relocate. Then set about doing it.

Next - ditch those friends unless you're prepared to confront them and tell them how you feel. Sometimes we keep friends just because they've been around for a long time but sadly there are times when you just outgrow each other or the dynamics change so don't be afraid to walk away. It's your life and you don't need people bringing you down.

Keep a drink diary. Log every thing down from the amount to the units. It won't be doing your body any good but while you're feeling low, it's not a good idea to imbibe a lot of alcohol - it's a depressant. Drink plenty of water and start to lower your booze intake. Find a non-alcoholic drink to replace your usual if you can. A mocktail or alcohol free beer/wine can help con yourself into thinking you're drinking. You'll start to feel better physically and mentally. Alcohol is SO calorific but those calories have no nutritional value.

I advise some activity like running or swimming where you can keep fit whilst having thinking time about your future.

There is nothing wrong with being single at 29. Embrace it. Love will come but don't worry about it. Right now it sounds like you have a lot going on so maybe it's not the best time for a new relationship anyway.

Also bear in mind, many people find 29 (and 39) milestone ages as 30 (and 40) approach. It's quite common to assess your life at these stages but hopefully you will just see them as birthdays and a celebration of life.

Try to surround yourself with fun things that you enjoy or take up a new challenge /hobby. Remember, life is for living so get out there and enjoy it.

Over to you.

 

That's actually the first step towards changing: realizing the fact that you want more in your life. Don't waste a single minute waiting for something magical to take place. Everything is absolutely up to you. Where would you like to go? How can I get there? Start planning your itinerary towards your goal, and never look back. Don't listen to people unless they have something positive to say. Analyze, where would like to work. What are the required qualifications? Do I meet them? If not, how can I get them? What do I have to do? Are you passionate about anything? The drinking problem is probably linked to the fact that you feel miserable, once you start getting on the right way, you'll just leave it aside. If you can't stop it, ask for help. Once you start feeling happier and better about yourself, men are going to sense the good vibes, and you'll probably find a steady partner to enjoy life together. The only person that can interfere between you and your dreams, IS YOU. And remember, it is never too late. Suppose you do nothing about this, and then in 3 years everything is going to be the same. Start this now, in 3 years you're be grateful and joyful to life. Take a piece of paper, write down the things you would like to change, and right next to it write how you can start changing them. And then after some months or a year right next to it write, solved. Good luck. Carolina.

 

You have named the problems already: your job and your alcohol consumption. I know that’s easier said than done, but you will have to change those two things if you want to have more from your life.

Your job: I don’t know if it is WHAT you do or WHERE. Maybe a change of the employer is enough, if not then change your profession, it’s not too late at 29.

More difficult the thing about the drinking: you’ve done the first step, even to realise and to admit that you do have a problem with that. Some people don’t manage this ever. It won’t be easy, but you will be strong enough to handle this. Watch yourself when and why you drink, when you can stop, be careful with buying alcohol at all, don’t persuade others to drink with you. You could write down your observations to get control about yourself. Depending on your addiction you might get professional help.

Maybe when you have another job then you will not feel the need to drink so much, or when you

have the alcohol under control you will like your job more again. But somewhere there will be the solution, probably everything else will be the result of this. I’m sure you can do it. L.Q.

 

Guess what? I was in the EXACT same boat as you until very recently. It's not fun, and I'm sorry you feel this way. But, there is hope!

1. You need to get away and listen to your inner voice. Go on a solo road trip. I'm serious. It is impossible to ignore your deepest feelings when yours is the only voice you can hear.

2. Quit your job. If you can't quit due to financials, set a date to quit your job. This act alone is so freaking liberating...

3. Stop talking to the negative friends, OR try to help them to be more positive. If the latter is too much of a time-suck, just stop talking to them, and they'll go away. Some people don't want help, only attention. They aren't worth your time.

4. This sounds fangirly, but...the music of Frank Turner helped me a LOT. I love Coldplay too, lol, but FT is amazing at writing songs that cut right to the heart of silliness. Reasons Not to be an Idiot, Photosynthesis, If Ever I Stray in particular. Start there.

5. Make time to do the things you love! You don't want to say it, but you're depressed. I was too. I'm not now, because I decided to stop feeling bad about everything after all of the above. All the luck and love I can send, Kelly.

 

I think you should go out, meet new people, talk with them and so on. Feeling something new in a life is always positive and when you always stay with the same friends you can feel bored and you don't often meet new people when you're part of a group (meanwhile your friends are still your friends but go breathing somewhere else!) You must find something that motivates you. I guess it could be a hobby or a project like a travel or realizing one of your dreams. You must have faith in life there are always great things happening when they're unexpected. I also think you have to wake up and do something before you're feeling too bad. You must keep in mind that you’re the master of your life and that what is happening to you (even if you think you didn’t deserve it) can be sensed as something good or bad according to your mood. If you’re feeling bad about something, forget it! Don’t think too much of bad days you had but remind good moments you spent even if they aren’t many. Hope all goes well for you. Claire, France.

 

I think we lack meaning in our lives. In a world filled with technology and instant gratification, finding joy is hard. Sometimes it seems so far away, you think you'll never find it again. I've been in those times of despair. Felt like the world was bubbling up and pouring into my mouth, suffocating me. I knew I needed a change. I'm more on the 'drastic' side of life, so I moved countries, forced myself to make new friends and begun to believe in me. I asked the meaningful questions to my friends. I asked them if they were happy and actually listened to their answers. By learning about them, I learned the positive aspects about myself. I remembered how much I loved life as a child and drew from that - I draw from that every day.

I cried about Cory Monteith today. Sobbed like a baby on the floor of my bathroom. I didn't really even know that much about him. I cried for his loss. He'll never know the true joy of holding his first born child in his arms... or the impact he had on a mother of two in Kent sobbing into her hands uncontrollably for over an hour. I bet if I met you Ali I'd see the joy and goodness you possess. The laughter you bring to others and the amazing imprint you leave behind each day. Don't ever forget how special you truly are and how much we appreciate you. M. xx

 

At this point in your life, you've got your youth, health and knowledge right by your side. These things will not last forever and should definitely not be taken for granted. There's simply no time to do things we don't like, because life is too short. I would say: Quit your job if you don't like it. If it's just not the kind of job for you, you can keep working, but nothing is going to make it any nicer. You're young so you'll definitely find a new job. In order to get out of the slump, I would say pack your bags and go into that beautiful mysterious world waiting out there to be discovered, meet new people and become amazed by the beauty this world has to show you. Happiness will not just magically appear in your life, you have to find it yourself. Buck Beak.

 

First, write down specific goals for yourself. But before you can do that, you have to identify the kind of life you actually want. So, think hard about that. Then, set your goals and for each one write down specific steps that you need to do to accomplish them (no matter how small...even if its just "buy a notebook"). Make sure you set up dates for each step and an ultimate date by which you want to accomplish the goal (you might need to adjust your dates as things play out, but keep going!). All this effort takes discipline...which means doing things that you don't feel like doing in order to get ultimate results that you want. Finally, look at other people (famous or not) that seem to have the life and career you want and find out (through research or asking them directly) how they got to where they are... then, try to do exactly what they did or at least try to follow their example as closely as possible. Sincerely, SB26.

 

"I'm stuck". How could you say that? As long as you are breathing and living, NOTHING IS EVER STUCK. Life is dynamic. You are dynamic.

Be true to yourself; if you hate your job, QUIT. Find something that brings out the FIRE in you; something that ignites your passion. This is very hard, I know, especially during these hard times. But why continue with this way of living when it leaves you dying? Same with your friends. You're supposed to shine with them, not suck out the luster in you. They're not worthy to be called your "friends". Drinking once in a while is healthy, too much is obviously not. Talk to real friends, your family, your pet if you have one. Find other recreations, healthy ones, if possible. Read a book. Do yoga. Walk. Run. Find healthy distractions. There is more to life than being drunk.

YOU HOLD YOUR LIFE. You got the steering wheel. Drive hard and drive good. There is always more in life. You are always more. YOU CAN DO IT. I hope the next time I hear from you, your letter would be signed "I'm 29, loved and pretty. Ali." Jade, 19. Philippines.

 

the only one thats able to change your life is you. dont think too much about what you could do, just go for it. changes come step by step. you will feel how something else will get way easier, after making the first step. actually everything starts to become lighter. get rid of things you dont need in your life, especially persons that only consume your lifetime. stand up for your opinion and your needs. there is a thin line inbetween a healthy egoismn and a complete douche. but egosimn is healthy not negative. care about yourself, no one else is going to take that responsibility. remember: you got this one life. take and life it. create it the way you wont regret your steps not even your mistakes. mistakes are part of your personal evolvement. and honestly the way it goes now, you could regret it when it goes further. its like cleaning up. you gonna run from one edge of the room to the other. and it might look worse before it looks better. but there's always a progress. good luck to you. Silver.

 

I think you should start thinking about doing something new in your life, like getting another job, for example. I think that's not gonna be hard for you because you have experience. In reffer to the other thing, I believe that you should leave the carapace, gurl! Like talking to more people in your work, maybe there's someone interesting that you didn't discovered yet (it may be not for boyfriend, a friend that can have other friends to let you know ;)! Take a chance! About the drinking bad-habit, fight against that, you need to change your life that's a good aim. If this can't help you, think about your family or someone you love that would be really happy if you do this for yourself.

Best wishes, Sofia from Argentina.

 

You are not stuck, because realizing that things need to change is a positive step toward making them change. First, you need to get rid of your negative friends. I know this seems harsh, but there is a quote that says, "You are only going to be as good as the people you surround yourself with, so be brave enough to let go of those weighing you down." The drinking may partly be a result of plain boredom. Get outside, take a walk, drink a super-charged smoothie. Maybe getting rid of some of the negativity in your life will help as well. And lastly, the job. Make a list of "dream jobs." Brainstorm ways to get yourself into those jobs. List pros and cons. And then pick a job from the list that you could reasonably achieve and make yourself a plan. Just thinking positively about your future will improve your present. Melinda.

 

Happiness is our birthright, Ali. We are all meant to shine, as children who live under the sun, do. Lift your eyes. This is only the beginning.

It seems as if you have a good grasp of what is going wrong. And now you've come of age to remedy these problems. Those "friends" who are anchors around your neck, drop them by the waist side and carry on. They can do nothing else for you.

Many of us have jobs we thoroughly dislike, but we have lives outside of work that we revel in, doing work we love outside of work, which makes the current job situation tolerable, until the next turn around the corner. Turn your mind into a playground instead of a prison and explore the possibilities and ideas churning in your mind.

A book I would recommend is James Altucher's "Choose Yourself". He gives excellent advice for the exact situation you are in. It's also quite entertaining.

Ali, sometimes you need to remind yourself that it's just a bad day, not a bad life. This slump that you are in, this too shall pass. Remember, you are the heroine in your life. Gina.

 

THE most important thing in life is who you have around you! If you have leeches around you you are going to feel drained! Also drinking too much causes depression. The solution is simple - stop hanging around with negative people and start taking action to achieve some worthwhile goals. What's hard is only starting - once you start you will feel happier and continue. All you need to start is stop thinking you will do it tomorrow and start right now. Good luck - I know you can do it, you can do anything if you put your mind to it. Best, Fraser.

 

It sounds as if you are a little burned out, life is just become routine and boring. Your friends are not even helping and the drink is certainly not the answer. You say you are single and unhappy but until you are single and loving it, you won't be attractive to anyone. Being happy is about making it happen, doing and giving and getting to know who you really are. Explore news things, listen to new music, try to develop a new talent, find a way to rekindle passion in your life and understand your job and your mates and a boyfriend don't make you happy, YOU make yourself happy. Have fun discovering your true self, Laurie.

 

Do not be miserable - do something! Prepare a list of things that you always wanted to do and do them one by one. You will see that your dreams are coming true.

Do crazy things, go for interview for a job you never thought you would do, meet new people, talk with strangers! Out there is a world full of energy and amazing things and people. If you want more from your life take as much as you can. Magda.

 

It takes some guts to have such an introspective analysis. Identifying qualities that make your life miserable is already a starting step. Not all people realize what they need, love or passionate about in life. The ones who do, are the people who are successful, whom we consider role models. Nevertheless, personal happiness don't necessarily come from a sense of accomplishment. Keep trying new things and be open. At the first, everything else will seem attractive, but they will soon bore you. The activities/acts that keep you occupied even after repetitive trials are what will keep you company, and happy. You can get a sense of improvement, henceforth excellence, once you develop interest in an activity. This might or might not be a career choice. After all, we all live only to be happy even if the deeds to attain it are painful. Vamsi.

 

My dear, everybody come to this life with some mission to do, something important to be recorded here. You have to waste time looking at the mirror, find who you really are, then rule your self and do what you found in your heart. Love changes everybody. Murilo.

 

Thanks to all those who replied to this week’s question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

July 22, 2013 - submitted by Tim, Canada

 

Q. Is Coldplay allowed to play Gravity at a concert even though the gave the song to Embrace? And do you think they would remember how to play it?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Anyone can play anything live regardless of who had the "hit" with it so yes, they can play the song. Plus as the song's original writers, it would never be an issue to perform or record Gravity.

I'm sure they can remember how to play it though from time to time they do forget certain parts. It comes back... a bit like riding a bike - you never totally forget, just get a little rusty.

July 22, 2013 - submitted by Giovanni, Italy

 

Q. I'd like to know if the Coldplay studios (Beehive and Bakery) are only used for recording or for mixing also? I love the sound of the band! Thanks in advance!

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

With MX a lot of the mixing took place at their studios as they went along but when the album was finished, its final mix took place in New York as their favoured mixer Michael Brauer works from there - though Spike Stent also mixed MX.

July 23, 2013 - submitted by Sammy, United States of America

 

Q. Hello there!

 

I have gotten the amazing opportunity to study in London for a semester, and I was wondering what your top 5 favorite places were?? These could be places to eat, drink, relax, think, etc. Thanks!

 

Sammy

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

I hope you don't mind me presuming that as a student you'll prefer me to suggest places that won't break the bank. Some of these are my favourite places but not all are "top 5" in terms of the best.

Eat: Bistro 1, (3 locations).

Drink: The Nicholson chain (various locations) is competitive for booze or Flat White (Soho) for coffee.

Relax: Any of the parks.

Think: Hampstead Heath.

I also recommend the British Library where you can do all 4!

 

Most of London's major museums and galleries are free admission with a voluntary donation. They have lockers or left luggage so I suggest checking in your belongings and taking a leisurely stroll around the magnificent exhibits.

 

Here are a few other ideas:

Live music: Barfly (Camden).

Shopping: Westfield Centre (Shepherd's Bush or Stratford) for High St. shopping. Spitalfields or Borough for markets.

Night Club: Ultimate Power.

Cinema: Everyman (various locations).

Views: Southbank for street level landmarks, Primrose Hill for elevated.

 

There are obviously so many things to do in London but it's certainly worth considering both tourist attractions and discovering off the beaten track experiences.

There are plenty of theatre, cabaret and comedy nights to unearth without necessarily being West End prices.

One other thing, if the good weather continues, try outdoor film screenings or a visit to the infamous Globe Theatre - take a cushion!

Have a great stay, Sammy.

July 23, 2013 - submitted by Angelica, United Kingdom

 

Q. Hey there,

is there going to be anymore series from Coldplay's comic books? Or was the 6 series the end.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

It has ended with 6th issue as it was a six-part series.

July 23, 2013 - submitted by Mary, United States of America

 

Q. Dear Oracle,

What is Chris Martin's favorite brand of guitar?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Chris plays a few brands; Martin, Gibson and Takamine... Martin & Gibson are his favoured choices.

July 24, 2013 - submitted by Alf, Mexico

 

Q. Is there any EP or single mp3 of the song Don Quixote?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Also known as Spanish Rain, there isn't a legitimate single or MP3 available, no. There are versions online of course but they're not official at all.

July 24, 2013 - submitted by Philipe, Brazil

 

Q. Hello Oracle,

 

Do you and Coldplay guys know the Athlete Band (the band of the singer Joel Pott)?

They have great and harmonic songs as Coldplay.

I would like to watch a presentation with the two of them together.

Is it possible to happen?

 

Thank you!

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Did you know that the same guy who signed Coldplay later signed Athlete? They were label mates for a while. There isn't likely to be a collaboration but I'm sure they will both be on the same bill at festivals again as they have in the past.

Athlete have been touring their 10th year anniversary show recently.

I was sent their demo back in 2000 and know the man who managed them back then and subsequently signed them to Fiction well but I don't know the band. I met one of the guys in a pub near me a few months ago. Nice chap.

July 24, 2013 - submitted by Sarah, United Kingdom

 

Q. Hi Oracle!

If I wanted to buy the comics, should I even though I'm not really knowledgeable on comics?

 

Enjoy your summer x

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

I'm not into comics either and haven't a clue about such things but I think if you have an interest in the artist you will find the comic of interest too. That's what I found with both my only previous experience - a DC Comics Prince comic back in 1991 - and Mylo Xyloto.

July 25, 2013 - submitted by Greg, United States of America

 

Q. Most Coldplay fans know that 'Til Kingdom Come was originally written to be sung with Johnny Cash. I would like to know if Cash had not passed when he did, would he have been on the track on X&Y?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

That's not quite accurate, Greg. The song wasn't written to be sung with Johnny; it was written for Johnny to sing. If he hadn't died the song would not have been on X&Y at all, it would have been on the planned Johnny Cash album.

July 25, 2013 - submitted by Natalia, Mexico

 

Q. Hi there! I was looking for a video. Could you help me please?

I remember I saw a video long time ago, (I don't know the band's name), but Chris & Jonny were like detectives walking in a park.. they appeared just for a little while. Good vibes from Mexico!!

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

If you click this, you will find out all you need to know...

July 25, 2013 - submitted by Josh, United Kingdom

 

Q. In the credits for Yeezus it says Chris Martin wrote on the track Guilt Trip. I remember Chris was in Paris a few months back when Kanye was working on the album. Is this Coldplay's Chris Martin?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

As you probably know Chris has collaborated with Kanye before (on

) but no, that's not our Chris. It's DJ Premier & his real name is also Chris Martin.

July 26, 2013 - submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

 

Q. WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

When I answer questions of a personal nature, Coldplay.com readers often get in touch with their own thoughts. So, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday (with the question asker's permission) we open up a question to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I'll post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to [email protected] before midnight Thursday1st August.

 

Should I tell my best friend I'm in love with her?

We've been really good friends for the past 3 years now and I think I've always felt like this.

The bad thing is that she has a boyfriend and he's one of my best friends too.

Everytime she has a problem with her boyfriend she always comes to me to talk about it an I'm always their to comfort her.

I feel like we're always their for each other, but.. I've always wanted more.

Please help.

I don't know what to do anymore. Branson, USA.

 

Look forward to seeing your replies.

The Oracle

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Please email your replies to [email protected]

July 26, 2013 - submitted by Maite, Spain

 

Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #129

I feel lonely, I don't know what to do with my life. I have all the things that one person needs to be happy. I had a bad experience with my ex-boyfriend and then, I started to feel depressive. I don't believe in anybody, all I feel is negative and I am trying to overcome my problem every day, but I think that no one will ever love me and also that I will never love as I did. I want to change now, everybody says to me the same, and all I want is real help.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

I think that all of this stems from your break-up or the relationship itself. It's not clear whether there were problems during your time together so I will have to assume the former.

It's not unusual to experience the feelings you describe after a relationship ends: low mood, mistrust, heartache and despair.

You need a lot of time to process what has happened. I don't mean to understand - you may never but I want you to keep in mind that you have acknowledged you have all the things a person needs to be happy. That's a good thing to know so let's focus on that. Let's look at what you have, not what you have lost.

Family, friends, health and freedom are very important and will help you move forward. You may have isolated yourself but by being withdrawn in your grief your feelings of loneliness will intensify. Just because you're single you don't have to be lonely. Being alone is not the same thing. Friends may have run out of things to say and don't know how to help but let them in. I want you to really try to get back out there and do the things you did before your relationship. In fact, start a relationship with yourself and put energy into that. Rediscover what it is to have that freedom.

What you need to do is realize that your heart will take time to heal. Trust needs to be earned so you will be cautious of letting someone get close to you but eventually you will. You may never love the way you did, you may never be loved the way you were but just because it's different, doesn't mean it won't be great.

Look at it this way, at least you had that wonderful experience - some people don't have that in a lifetime.

Whatever has happened will shape you but don't let it break you.

Over to you.

 

I can understand from your viewpoint that you'd start to feel like this. After going through a lot of bad experiences, it's hard to picture yourself or your life turning around and coming across the good, also after being let down by certain people that you care about, which hurts. What you have to focus on most importantly is that you aren't alone, even if you truly feel so. Everyone - and I mean everyone, even the people who don't seem like it - ends up feeling like this at one point or another in their life. Try to really center yourself and put yourself with people that you know love and care about you, most particularly, your family and friends. Anyone that you feel is giving you the slightest negative energy, avoid them. Don’t judge your life or possibly future relationships by one bad experience with an ex-boyfriend. Again, it happens to everyone. Relationship problems and splits are not uncommon, but it’s easier said than done for you to feel better about them. It will take a while to heal, and when that happens it’ll be a huge milestone for you to feel better. Always remember, everything's not lost. Everly.

 

I do understand how you feel, it is clear that when a person hurts, you feel of all these forms, I understand you want to feel better but do not have to hurry up, your heart needs time to heal, love is a beautiful experience and you can learned many things, everybody go through different experiences but remember that, every story with each person is different. As you go beating your problem, these desire to love, will comeback to you again, just give yourself a bit of time to get well and stay with people who love you, they'll be there supporting you to go ahead. Life is beautiful in many different ways. Noodle.

 

Part of being human is the need to feel accepted received and loved. No matter where we hail from, this is a common need of the heart . Maite, it's normal (and in a weird way, beautiful) to feel the way you feel given the circumstance. The beauty in your humanity is what makes you attractive, and I guess my way of help is by first applauding your courage to speak out (because most of us don't). You are lovable, I have been drawn to you, a stranger wanting to help, and you should feel that way about yourself. Sometimes getting out of your daily environment helps. When all is said and done, the peace you can enjoy in your heart is that of contentment with who you are as a wholesome being. It gets better, somehow. David. Nairobi, Kenya.

 

I think what you feel is normal. I don't know for how long you've felt this, but if the depression is over whelming seek help through a doctor. What I have learned is that no one "makes" you feel a certain way. You choose to feel a certain way. Certain circumstances bring brooding and sadness. Those times are normal but you do need to lift your head up, get up, and do something to cheer yourself up. It is hard, yes! In time it will become easier. You will trust again. You will believe again. You have to choose to though. I will say this. You ARE strong. You HAVE meaning. You have WORTH. Be Strong! Heather.

 

Who ever broke your heart back then don't close your heart. You'll find another love again. Some times love is like life it comes and goes. So just like life you lose someone but you keep living. When that love of our life goes we must keep on loving don't let the cycle repeat on. Please open up your heart because if repeats on you will get a cold bitter heart. Smokey.

 

It is so easy to lose ourselves inside a relationship. We fall in love and we feel like our lives are complete and then when the relationship falls apart we are gutted and cannot see a way back to happiness alone.

Do not see your relationship as trying to escape loneliness. Instead focus on the one person who needs some attention right now. You. Reconnect with yourself and learn to love you. Only once we know and love ourselves enough to be comfortable being alone are we truly ready to have a relationship. You need to bring love and happiness to someone and not depend on them to bring love and happiness to you.

Being in a relationship is like have a joint banking account. You have to both put something in, so both of you can get something out. Start building yourself up cause when you're ready, you'll have tons of love to give a lucky person.

Strength, love and peace. N.

 

In order to feel love from others, you first have to live yourself. What does that mean? It means you have to live for the person you are. You are unique in your own way;embrace it and embrace yourself. Love has no preferences, people do. There are two great misconception about love. The first is that it has to be found and the second is that you must earn it. Concerning the first, love lives inside you and it grow like wildfire. Take a break from society and learn to love yourself. You will see that the love you foster in yourself will reflect off the people around you. For the second, never prove yourself for the sake of love. Does a child need to prove themselves to their parents? Of course not. But line exists. Society may want something from you to love you, but know that you are worth far more than that. Jonathan.

 

You know, they say everything happens for a reason. The good, the bad, the moment of success you feel, the heart breaking moments, the hardships we face, etc. They all make us to become who we really are in this life. And mind you, we have only one lifetime to live and that's it. So how you choose to deal and react to your situation will eventually define you. Deep down all of us, we are strong and courageous and can face any situation that we are faced with. There is someone for everybody my friend. There will be someone for you I can guarantee you that; only if you let yourself to fly again. You can only know only if you try. Someone will love you and love you right only if you let your past go. I know that it’s easier said then done but it’s not an over-night thing. You have to take each day as it comes and if you never give up, you will find happiness or rather, it will find you. All the feelings you are feeling are normal for us humans. Everybody in their life time will feel what you are feeling some part in their life time. So it’s not a matter of “if you will ever overcome your problems” but “when you will overcome them” and that is in your hands to decide and do. I hope for you have a wonderful and happy life. Don’t give up. Russel.

 

You are unique. An individual. There is no one on this planet that is like you. You are capable of so many things and your abilities are endless. You have to learn to see that and to love yourself for who you are. I promise you that if you do that, and continue to live your life being an inspiration to others you will be loved more than you can imagine. We accept the love that we think we deserve, but once you see the greatness that lives inside of you will no longer be treated like the underdog, you will rise up and touch other peoples life in a way that no one else can. Hakuna Matata baby. Ell.

 

Everything takes time especially break ups. The feelings you are having: depression, the negative attitude, and thoughts of hopeless love will disappear with time. I don't know how long its been since your break up, but you have to give yourself credit. If you found love in the past love will find you again in the future. The best gifts in life are given when you least expect it. My advice to you is to stop focusing on the negative side of your situation and start focusing on the good. Take the time to get to know yourself better, learn a new hobby; take the time to change your life for the better. There's no time frame for how long it will take you to find love again so use the minutes of your single life to the fullest! Ashley, USA.

 

You are not alone in your troubles. Millions of people deal with sad thoughts or depression linked to a break-up, myself included. Where I've found the most comfort in moving forward is music, dear friends and new experiences. For me, the best way to combat loneliness or sadness is to re-connect with your passions in life. If you are able to, make new memories with a friend (or make a new friend along your way!), reconnect with someone you haven’t seen in a while, plan a trip you never thought you’d take. Today is the day to begin making new memories in your life! Ones that over time will far surpass those you had with any ex. Be optimistic about your future. It's so easy to dwell on the past, but the future is what you should really be excited about! Sincerely, Evan, Ohio.

 

Don't know whose idea it was?! It's not true everybody needs love to be happy! I'm a 25 yr old attractive woman and I've never been in love. I don't know what love is and seriously I wouldn't like to know. I live my own life, have hobbies, do what I want, have no commitments and I like to think I'm independent woman. Now its time for my advise: STOP THINK ABOUT THE BOYS AND DO SOMETHING USEFUL! Lee.

 

If you have friends/ family around currently, spend time hearing their laughter, seeing them smiling. This is how you feel life, accept it and feel its presence. You can have someone closer to talk to, just to express but not too often to avoid further disturbance for yourself.

If problems of the past are still unclear, so will the solutions. Cracking mind to find any is so much pain. To move on, firstly, avoid confusions you can/ are yet to imagine to happen (if I took path A, it will be so and so).

You have hobbies, always get back to them. You have your favorite places and food, these are your space. They give you security, only you can access to those. Here is where you find peace.

Always be grateful. Since you have everything to be happy, you should now grow them. It is lucky to still have them through your hard times.

We are here to love and to be loved. You can value yourself, you're still yours even if you don't feel that special care from someone else. Love comes in many ways, even for the same purpose (like loving that someone special). Never love as you might once be does not stop you from being sincere and patience. 'Til the perfect timing then. Ai.

 

Your heart was broken and it takes a lot of time and confidence to make it whole again. Time passes by, but to build new trust for your life you need new experiences, those can only happen if you allow them to happen. When you say you want to change, you can do it, it is up to you. Inside you might know there will be no guaranty your heart will be never hurt again. That’s a risk we have to take, though it doesn't need to lock our heart from the world around us. Your love could be waiting already. Take your bad experience for a help, to be more cautious or wary the next time, but never let it ruin your future. Remember those lines: "How can you know it if you don't even try?" […] "You know that darkness always turns into light."

Best wishes. L.Q.

 

Thanks to all those who replied to this week’s question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

July 29, 2013 - submitted by Jackson, United States of America

 

Q. Hello, Oracle. I have a very serious problem. I was talking with a very close friend of mine, and she began sharing one of her ideas for a book she wants to write (we are both writers). I was trying to criticize her idea, but it turned into insulting the idea unintentionally. She is currently mad at me, and I really want to apologize, but I don't know the best way to do so without high risk of injury. I wrote a letter of apology that I will give to her, but I really don't know how else to be sincere about it. I feel terrible. Is there anything else I can do? She's one of the best friends I've ever had, and I would like us to still be friends. Any advice would be helpful. Thank you in advance.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Where you went wrong was to criticize instead of critique. Nobody like criticism unless it's constructive. Think how you'd feel if it was the other way around. Then think about how she could make it right. When you know what you'd need to hear, see if you can put that into words. Failing that just tell her what you told me. Send that letter!

July 29, 2013 - submitted by Iris, United States of America

 

Q. Hello Oracle!

I was wondering if the hidden track The Escapist (one of my favorites by my favorite band!) was inspired by the Jon Hopkins song, Light Through the Veins? If not, where did Coldplay find the inspiration to create the track? Thanks in advance, Iris.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

It sounds like you may not know that The Escapist was written by Jon and Chris back in 2007. The original version was longer but they trimmed it down for the album.

July 29, 2013 - submitted by Jorge, Peru

 

Q. Hello Oracle,

 

I've been a Coldplayer since I was 8 but there's a little problem, I've never known what was the name of

(if it has) that the band used during their AROBTTH tours for Yellow is? (0:00 - 0:55)

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

It hasn't got a name and it is exactly what you said; an intro. It was an extended intro for the AROBTTH tour but still part of the song rather than a separately named entity. There isn't an official studio recorded version (single, album etc.) but obviously it is available on Live 2003.

July 29, 2013 - submitted by Jackson, United States of America[/color][/b]

 

Q. Hello, Oracle. I have a very serious problem. I was talking with a very close friend of mine, and she began sharing one of her ideas for a book she wants to write (we are both writers). I was trying to criticize her idea, but it turned into insulting the idea unintentionally. She is currently mad at me, and I really want to apologize, but I don't know the best way to do so without high risk of injury. I wrote a letter of apology that I will give to her, but I really don't know how else to be sincere about it. I feel terrible. Is there anything else I can do? She's one of the best friends I've ever had, and I would like us to still be friends. Any advice would be helpful. Thank you in advance.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Where you went wrong was to criticize instead of critique. Nobody like criticism unless it's constructive. Think how you'd feel if it was the other way around. Then think about how she could make it right. When you know what you'd need to hear, see if you can put that into words. Failing that just tell her what you told me. Send that letter!

 

Shouldn't this have been a Team Oracle question?

Shouldn't this have been a Team Oracle question?

 

Maybe the person who asked the question didn't want it to be a Team Oracle question.

Good point. I just prefer the Coldplay-related questions.

July 30, 2013 - submitted by Eliza, United States of America

 

Q. Okay this question probably has a real obvious answer but where can I view the art that was in the Exhibition Room? I thought it would be on the hypnofeed. How do I find all the other awesome stuff? Mahalo!

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

It's in the ARCHIVE section of the site here.

July 30, 2013 - submitted by Raquel, United States of America

 

Q. What's the next big thing, oh great Oracle?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

I hate the fact there's a name for this given there are cabaret clubs etc. that offer the same but I have a feeling it's going to be destination restaurants a.k.a Destaurants.

Destaurants plan to keep the customer in one destination all night by providing a dining experience & entertainment.

July 30, 2013 - submitted by Karen GW, Mexico

 

Q. Hi Oracle! Do you know what is Guy's favorite song to play? why?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

On the last tour one of Guy's favourite songs to play was Charlie Brown. It was the anticipation of the wristbands - knowing they were about to start flashing.

July 31, 2013 - submitted by Vero, Argentina

 

Q. Hi Oracle! I was watching an old interview with Chris and Jonny (from 2005, I think) and I was surprised when Chris mentioned that Jonny is an astronomer. Is this true or was he joking? Thank you for your time!

V

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Jonny did indeed study astronomy (& maths) at UCL.

July 31, 2013 - submitted by Stefan, Austria

 

Q. Dear Oracle,

Can you please tell me more about the remix at the end of

Who made it? is it available for download? I can't get it out of my head!

Thanks.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

It's not a remix; it's The Scientist

.