LOL! Now, I definitely see Chris starting it. But then I see Jonny jumping right into anything that Chris is doing - a very willing participant. I see Guy being the one acting all cool trying not to get involved but then jumping right in and yes, Will telling everyone to grow up before getting bopped on the head, picking up a pillow and yes, kicking everyone's butts. :laugh3:

June 20, 2013 - submitted by Margaret, United States of America

 

Q. Dear Oracle, I was wondering how you would acquire a job like yours. I mean, you said before you went to concerts before you knew them, obviously stating that you didn't know them in college. I am not asking you to tell me all about this either, but you must do something else rather that only answer 2 Oracle questions a day, right? How could someone like me, get into a relationship, with any band, and start working with them, being with them a lot, like you do at the bakery. Thank you for considering your time.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

I didn’t actually say many of those things: I didn’t go to their concerts before I met them. I did know them when they were at college. I don’t work at the Bakery and am not therefore with the band a lot.

Now I’ve set that straight I think it’s irrelevant to say what else I spend my time doing. Suffice it to say, I do other things, yes. The second part of your message is the most interesting...

I hope you don’t take this the wrong way but it’s important to differentiate between working with a band because it’s your job and hanging out with them because you’re a fan.

I don’t know enough about you to guide you fully but there are plenty of ways to get into the music industry and the many specific areas within it. These days there are many specialized courses but there were none when I started so I had to work my way up from working for free and a pittance just to get experience.

If you choose that route, local venues or rehearsal studios are a great place to start. Helping bands load in and out for shows too but they will probably already have their mates doing that before they progress to roadies.

What you do will depend on what you would like as a career. If you see a new band with potential you could help out with promotion, marketing, getting them gigs and helping with their online presence.

Many record labels have internships so visit their websites for more details.

There are books and articles published on the web so once you have chosen the area you are interested in, go forth and research – that’s what I did.

There was a book written a few years ago, How To Make it in the Music Business, Sian Pattenden and the great thing about it was it gave an overview of what money you’d expect to earn, how many hours you’d be working, pressure rating, travel rating and glamour rating (amongst others). If there’s a revised edition, I’d suggest having a quick peruse of that before deciding if it’s for you.

June 20, 2013 - submitted by Jessica, United States of America

 

Q. Dearest Oracle,

Does Paris, the oh so talented graffiti artist who did Coldplay's art, have a website? If you please, I would like to check out more of his brilliant works. Thanks for answering, Oracle. Cheers from L.A., California Xx

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Paris does indeed have a website.

June 21, 2013 - submitted by Sam, United States of America

 

Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #124 part ii

I'm sixteen, and like most people at sixteen, I have a lot on my mind (and at other times I have nothing on my mind, which is a different problem altogether) I've been feeling rather small in this big big world and I see there's a lot of evil in it. I want to change the world in a big big way, yet I find myself not knowing where to start. I really want to see the world get along with itself, and I need you, almighty oracle, to tell me how I, a sixteen year old kid, can change the world for good. Sam, USA

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

The way you can make a difference or change the world is by firstly finding yourself. Discover who you are and what you stand for; in doing this bit by bit you can piece together what you want to do to put your mark in society therefore making a change. In regards to the evil in this world; evil will always exist however what we can do is fight it with good. - Lateisha, UK.

 

If you want to change the world for good, think on going vegan.

Choosing to live a life free from animal products means choosing a path that is kinder to people, animals and the environment.

Main reasons for choosing a vegan lifestyle:

 

1) It's a healthy choice: Balanced vegan diets are often rich in vitamins, antioxidants and fibre and can decrease the chances of suffering from diseases such as diabetes, heart disease, stroke and some cancers.

 

2) It's compassionate: It is becoming more and more difficult to claim not to have at least some knowledge of the treatment that factory-farmed animals endure. Sentient, intelligent animals are kept in cramped and filthy conditions. At the same time, many suffer serious health problems and even death because they are selectively bred to grow or produce milk or eggs at a far greater rate than their bodies are capable of coping with.

 

3) It's better for the environment: Farming animals and growing their feed also contributes to other environmental problems such as deforestation, water pollution and land degradation. Isabella.

 

Personally, my dad taught me that, everyday, you have the chance to make a change. He never explains it further to me, just in times when I'm sad he'll say "You have the opportunity to change things everyday." and I started to believe him not long ago. Being 16 isn't a nice age indeed, it's where you're stuck between being a student and being almost independent and being under the force of your parents but have the pressure to know which collage you want to apply to. That's why I personally keep the changes small, but inspiring and well thought. I'll stick a note here and there with a sentence around 'You are beautiful!' on it, hoping someone will see it. I spend my days supporting my idols (yes Coldplay), working for a good future, telling my friends they are beautiful. The big changes come later, I guess. Right now, I'm preparing them. Anna, Germany, 16 years old.

 

It's simple how a sixteen year old can change the world, by having a dream and by being determined to make that dream a possibility, no matter how ludicrous the dream is. And if the sixteen year old is able to achieve his/her dream it will bring something very important to the rest of the people on this planet - hope.

 

Yours Faithfully, Bryn, 16.

 

I'm not sixteen yet, but I believe a fourteen year old kid can give you an answer. The first step: TRYING.

You can do ANYTHING if you TRY. If you know that you will put forth your greatest efforts, then you can move mountains.

The second step: find something you are already good at. If you are good at helping the elderly cross the street, then start there. Maybe you're a talented musician. Write songs that can change the way people think, kind of like Coldplay can.

Third step: SHARE your talent or gift with the world. If try you're hardest, while doing something you're good at, then people will listen. And although you may feel small, remember that all it takes is one match to light a fire. You can change the world. Anyone can. Carter.

 

To make trade fair, we have to break some barriers, the main is: pride political and economic. One of the idea is:

 

1 - The initiative of a supreme organization that commands the new laws and functioning of the economy of Africa and needy countries.

 

2 - the solution to the extinction of inflation in these countries.

 

3 - 'agricultural cultivation' excessive in all possible areas, taking advantage of their good land and creating jobs with a living wage for their efforts, growing economically and giving a better life people who live there. Leonardo.

 

The world can be really disillusioning. I can also relate to the feeling of insignificance. But I don't know if you can really measure something like that as big or small, or that doing so would really get you anywhere. It depends on the person that is affected. You could flip someone's world around, and have yours hardly flinch. I think we're all part of society and can contribute to the world we live in. The important thing to remember is that even though you aren't given a lot of credit or acclaim for something, it does not mean that it is a small deed. You can really only hope to make a difference in another person's world. Even if it doesn't change yours that much. Then again, there's the feeling of knowing you helped someone. Taking one step at a time, you could eventually change the world in a way, but that certainly won't happen at once or overnight. Hope this helps. Love, Darem.

 

I think you should be the change you want to see in the world. Like whatever you feel needs changing go out and do something about it. Raise money, create posters, make videos, raise awareness.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world" - Mahatma Gandhi

Aoife, Ireland.

 

You may never change the world. Bob Geldof tried with music, many dictators tried with force. You shouldn't worry about changing the world for everyone as the world is so big and diverse, what is beat for you is not best for all. Try changing the way you look at the world, if your happy and you do things in life you want to, you will feel bigger and the world will seem a better place. After all if you smile, the whole world will smile with you. Hope this helps kiddo. Craig.

 

I'm 21 and I realized a while ago that just like you I wanted to make the world a better place to live, not for me but for the people who don't have a good life. As a write to you, I still didn't do anything to reach that goal. I wanted to get involved, volunteering or something but I didn't do anything because I guess I'm just a coward! But you know I have to deal with school, family and everything. So my advice for you would be: do something, don't be like me! You could get information about local organisations, try to find a website maybe (for example, here in Belgium, we have Quinoa, which is a non-governmental organization, I guess you can check it). You can also talk about it to your friends, at school or even to your family. Who knows? Maybe they know somebody who knows somebody who already did that kind of stuff. I wish you all the best and I hope we can save the world together. Sabrina, Belgium.

 

I'm sixteen and I was wondering how can someone like me in a small Central American country can change the world? I came to a resolution: we can change the world by giving the best of us, by doing something good for the others and doing what we love to do the most. I love singing and maybe with one song I'm giving someone a little bit of happiness, maybe someone's day just got better because you smiled. That's how I think we can change the world at sixteen, by trying to be better humans. Vale.

 

First, you have already changed the world simply by asking this question. I am a 56 year female who is still asking questions, still questioning, still seeking to make the life of all on this planet a bit better. The biggest compliment ever given me was that I may not know all the answers, but I am never afraid to ask the questions.

And part of asking those questions is having an understanding of where to seek the answers. You may not always get it right the first time, but keep asking.

Proceed with an open heart and soul and respect for this planet and all people who dwell here. You will find your passion. Follow it, always ask questions, and never be afraid to be different. Many great prophets and leaders went "against the grain" of popular opinion. But if you trust your heart and soul and have a true desire to make a difference, you will do it. Even if it is a small act at first, it may blossom into a full flower. I know this because I went out on a limb to save the life of one child, who was not my own. It has made all the difference in my life, the life of the child and to others who I inspired. Please do not take this as bragging. I just know in my heart and from my own experience, I made a difference.

I hope this helps. Peace Be With You, June, USA.

 

Like you I thought about changing the world. I am seventeen and I also thought: what can someone my age do? Our society isn't perfect, there are some aspects I wish I can change or eliminate. Recently I heard of a girl at the age of fifteen, who makes headbands to fund African girls to go to school. Pretty amazing for someone her age. I thought: how can I change the world like this girl? How can I, one person, change the world? I narrowed my possibilities to not change the world, but to change someone's world. A long time ago, I used to be a student who needed special education; I was behind in English comprehension. Six years later, I no longer needed the special education, I was in fact ahead of many other students. Long story short: I realized that I could help other kids with special education. Where I'm going at is: try not to look at macrocosm, but a microcosm. Look for a group of people you can help and relate to the most, it may just change someone's world. Liz.

 

Technically just by breathing we change the world. Everything we do has an impact on the world even though it may not be huge. Everyone you see, everything you touch is different because of you. If you want to change the world positively, do good things. Actions speak louder then words. Be unique. Be a leader. Be the one that stands out. Stay strong in who you are and what you believe in. Be ready to be judged and criticized. Inspire yourself by others such as Gandhi, Mother Theresa and other great people. You learn much from others. Persevere and when the going gets tough stay strong.

 

Good luck, Andrea, Canada (16 years old).

 

I love that you want to change the world, that your heart cries out against injustice, pain, destruction, hatred, despair etc - please treasure your compassion, your heart, as the wonderful gift to the world that it already is! There is so much pain in the world that it is easy to become overwhelmed and not know where to start, so perhaps first, choose a cause you are passionate about and while you are still in school join an organisation that already exists ' you will see how this organisation is run, you will meet people with the same ideals and heart as you, in a way, it's like a mentorship! Perhaps later you could research - see what has been done, what has or hasn't worked, what is most needed, and come up with new or unusual/creative/better/more efficient ways of helping and creating change in our world! (And studying/going to college is also changing the world i.e. thinking ahead to the future what will humanity/our earth/this world need/be like? How can we prevent/help/etc) And Sam, please don't ever underestimate the seemingly 'small', remember 'To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world (Dr Seuss) your kind words, your smile, are powerful and also change worlds, perhaps igniting courage, hope, change, where there's despair, loneliness, pain...(&, look up 'change the world' quotes, they always inspire me, All the best, Cali.

 

This is a question I've been wondering for quite some time now. I'm sixteen and often find myself flustered about how I'd go about improving this planet we call earth. I've come to believe no human can change the world single handedly. However with the assistance of our friends, family, teachers, community, and society; anything can be accomplished. Our predecessors that changed the world (Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr, Leonardo DaVinci etc.) had help along the way. Especially for someone as young as myself, co-operation is crucial to change. A sixteen year old can thrive to be better than they were merely 24 hours ago as well as lead a group of people who have the same intentions. Sure, each human can be considered insignificant to our society, let alone our universe. However similar to how a single spark from a match can engulf a whole forest in flames, each young adult like myself has the potential to spark a chain reaction. We all just need to stand up, with no intention to budge, for what we believe in. Mohamed.

 

How commendable that you want to make the world a more peaceful place. This is very remarkable for someone your age.

 

While you have the right idea, it is a tall order so start small, maybe by volunteering at local level. Perhaps there is a need for help at a food bank or soup kitchen. Beyond that, get involved with organizations that reflect your values and work within them. Remember that sometimes small changes become huge when people recognize their value, I am thinking of the 26 acts of kindness that started as a result of the Newton tragedy. This has caught on and now people are trying to focus on the good in the world and not the bad .You may not change the world, but even if you change people's thinking, you may accomplish much good. Best of luck, Laurie.

 

Can a 16year old change the world? After all aren't teenagers these days perceived as technology addicts who vandalize, cause crime and generally make people feel uncomfortable? Yet these are bright young minds who are still able to see evil through it's disguises, who know what it's like to be a child or have adult responsibility, and are continuously amazing society when they are polite, friendly and happy.

There are lots of labels that go with teenagers. Many I feel are unfortunately negative but perhaps you could make a start on the world by changing those that other people impose on yourself. I'm not saying change who you are, or your personality, or your beliefs but what about trying extra hard to show people the best person you can really be. Hopefully and eventually many different people will look up to you and aspire to be like the amazing person you are. Jess.

 

I too at your age thought a lot like that, I still do today. Well let me start off by saying the world doesn't like to change quickly. It doesn't mater how big or small we may feel we are all constantly changing the world.

 

Dream the impossible. History has proven that nothing is impossible. Timing is everything. (Try thinking of something impossible, it's hard, isn't it?). Another key point is to give away your idea, don't expect to profit from it, influence the influencers, write a letter and even if they don't read it it's ok as long as someone read it the seed is planted. Good ideas tend to grow with other factors of course, something one person said could trigger an idea in another person and that person may not even realize that the other person was the trigger. Now to break it all down again, dream the impossible, inspire the inspirers, plant the seed, give it away, remove selflessness from the equation and stay positive. Jeffr.

 

Thanks again to the many who replied to this question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

June 21, 2013 - submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

 

Q. WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

When I answer questions of a personal nature, Coldplay.com readers often get in touch with their own thoughts. So, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday (with the question asker's permission) we open up a question to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I'll post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to [email protected] before midnight Thursday 27th June.

 

My wife left me.. I am hurting. I made the promise of forever but apparently our vows didn't mean as much to her as they did to me. Now I stuck and don't know what to do. I want her back but she won't have me. But I am afraid to move on because I don't want to feel the deep pain and regret I am feeling now for making a commitment so deep and having my heart be discarded as if it meant nothing in the first place.

Got any advice? Nathan, USA.

 

Look forward to seeing your replies.

The Oracle

 

Please email your replies to [email protected]

If you want to change the world for good, think on going vegan.

Choosing to live a life free from animal products means choosing a path that is kinder to people, animals and the environment.

Main reasons for choosing a vegan lifestyle:

 

1) It's a healthy choice: Balanced vegan diets are often rich in vitamins, antioxidants and fibre and can decrease the chances of suffering from diseases such as diabetes, heart disease, stroke and some cancers.

 

2) It's compassionate: It is becoming more and more difficult to claim not to have at least some knowledge of the treatment that factory-farmed animals endure. Sentient, intelligent animals are kept in cramped and filthy conditions. At the same time, many suffer serious health problems and even death because they are selectively bred to grow or produce milk or eggs at a far greater rate than their bodies are capable of coping with.

 

3) It's better for the environment: Farming animals and growing their feed also contributes to other environmental problems such as deforestation, water pollution and land degradation. Isabella.

 

Hmmm. I've seen this before :thinking:

At least she gives an explanation

June 24, 2013 - submitted by Daire, Ireland

 

Q. There were no Irish concerts on the last tour, not going to lie but I'm kinda disappointed. Didn't 'Coldplay' play their first gig in Ireland at Dublin Castle?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Although the band didn't manage to include Ireland on the full tour schedule, they did perform at Oxegen Festival there in July 2011.

 

One of their first gigs as Coldplay was at the Dublin Castle, but not the one in Ireland.

 

It was the less than 200 capacity pub in Camden of the same name.

June 24, 2013 - submitted by Ben, United Kingdom

 

Q. My friend and I were at the Under 1 Roof gig in December 2011 (superb night it was too) and we're having a disagreement over Alan Partridge which I'm hoping you can settle.

 

He is saying that Alan interrupting Coldplay during Christmas Lights wasn't planned and was very rude. And as a lifelong Alan Partridge fan (and possessing common sense) I'm saying it was obviously planned and was part of the joke.

 

Please tell me I'm right so I can shut him up once and for all.

Thanks

Ben

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

You're both right in a way. Steve Coogan aka Alan was due to interrupt the song yes, but not as early as he did. It wasn't his fault though, someone in the crew had told him the wrong time to go on and so it cut the song shorter than expected.

June 25, 2013 - submitted by Fabian, Germany

 

Q. Hey,

I was listening to Zane Lowe's first play of Christmas Lights and he was describing a "pink, origami-like" packaging. Chris said, that they made only 100 of them. Can I see a photo of that awesome artwork?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Here is what it looks like inside but outside it was just plain pink envelope style. I have seen one but don’t actually own one myself.

June 25, 2013 - submitted by Brittany, United States of America

 

Q. Hi Oracle,

Could you please tell me what Chris and Jonny were talking about at the end of the Shiver music video. I truly hope you get to read my message.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

I'm afraid I have no idea! I would wager they don't remember either. Probably something about the video.

June 26, 2013 - submitted by Regan, United Kingdom

 

Q. Hi there, i was just curious to know when Coldplay do shows in the UK but outside London do the guys travel together to wherever the show may be or do they travel there on there own? (For example a show in Manchester?)

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

 

 

It depends on which mode of transport and where they have been previously / are off to next.

 

For example, if they were playing T in the Park one night and Oxegen the following night, they would fly to Scotland and then leave together (by either ferry or plane) to Ireland.

 

When they played the Crisis gigs in December back in 2010, Chris travelled up to Liverpool by car the night before to go to a gig and the rest of the band followed by train the next day.

 

I’ve flown back from Manchester with them and on other occasions we’ve taken cars so it’s not set in stone.

 

Generally though they fly together or share cars with whoever lives nearest to one another.

June 26, 2013 - submitted by James Burke, United States of America

 

Q. Hello Oracle!

I was wondering if when the band plays 2 shows at the same venue 2 nights in a row if there is any variation between the setlists between the two nights.

Thanks,

James

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

I know that Bruce Springsteen & Radiohead, for example, have different set lists from show to show but their production set-up allows for such vast changes daily. Coldplay have many effects, videos and lighting that are incorporated into the concert so it’s not possible to mix it up too much. There is the occasional tweak to which songs are performed on the B & C stage.

June 27, 2013 - submitted by Tyler, United States of America

 

Q. How did the band feel about Charlie Brown being the theme song for UEFA Euro 2012? Because of this, were the band given anything? Such as premium seats to the matches?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

I'm sure they were chuffed but they don't get asked for permission for such things. There are licenses that cover the use of music in sports shows etc.

 

The band won't therefore have been offered tickets in exchange but I'm pretty sure if they had wanted to go, they would have been able to procure tickets ;-)

June 27, 2013 - submitted by Dylan, United States of America

 

Q. Hey there!

I am a huge Coldplay fan, but I am also a big fan of the Killers. I was reading about Brandon Flowers, singer for the Killers, when I read that he has performed with Coldplay before. When and where did this happen?

Thanks!

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

It was a benefit show at Shepherd's Bush Empire on Wednesday February 18th. in aid of War Child.

why people don't google such things? Like how much time would took type "coldplay and the killers live"? :thinking:

The Oracle replies:

 

It was a benefit show at Shepherd's Bush Empire on Wednesday February 18th. in aid of War Child.

 

Wouldn't it be a bit more helpful if she had said what year this took place :thinking:

All Coldplayers know it was 2009. And yes, Google is a useful tool. Youtube works too, this person hadn't seen The South Bank Show???

why people don't google such things? Like how much time would took type "coldplay and the killers live"? :thinking:

 

they want to be able to say the Oracle answered their question, probably

saying that you just googled it doesn't sound so impressive :P

they want to be able to say the Oracle answered their question, probably

saying that you just googled it doesn't sound so impressive :P

 

 

This is true.

 

 

BTW, I adore Tina Belcher.

June 28, 2013 - submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

 

Q. WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

When I answer questions of a personal nature, Coldplay.com readers often get in touch with their own thoughts. So, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday (with the question asker's permission) we open up a question to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I'll post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to [email protected] before midnight Thursday 4th July.

 

I always feel like I'm being treated differently by my parents. I do a lot for them and have always respected them, it just seems when something goes wrong and I'm not involved I constantly get picked on about something even if it's something so silly and small. I feel as if I get treated differently all the time. I feel as if I'm not listened to at times and that I'm just 'there'. Like when something goes go wrong between my brothers and sisters, I'm always the one getting told off even though I'm not involved in the situation, they always find something. I'm sick of it and struggling with ideas of what to do. I don't know if I'm overreacting or what? Hope you can help, Thank you. Lucy, UK.

 

Look forward to seeing your replies.

The Oracle

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Please email your replies to [email protected]

June 28, 2013 - submitted by Nathan, United States of America

 

Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #125

My wife left me. I am hurting. I made the promise of forever but apparently our vows didn't mean as much to her as they did to me. Now I am stuck and don't know what to do. I want her back but she won't have me. But I am afraid to move on because I don't want to feel the deep pain and regret I am feeling now for making a commitment so deep and having my heart be discarded as if it meant nothing in the first place.

Got any advice?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

I do not want to sound flippant because I honestly know how you feel. There are many people who will empathize with your situation regardless of the length of the relationship and without matrimony. A relationship commitment broken hurts like hell no matter what level of bond - formal ceremony, children, etc.

The things you need to remember may not help you work out the whys but they are important.

I am betting your wife meant the vows she took at the time so try not to think that she didn't or took them lightly. People change as do feelings and I'm afraid there's not much you can do about that. Don't regret what you did as that would diminish the feelings that you both had for each other and they were real. Sadly love doesn't always last a lifetime - or not always for both people at least. Cherish what you had but trying to work out what went wrong is fruitless. You can never know what is going on for someone else. Concentrate on you and helping yourself.

You will move on but your heart needs to heal and that could take a very long time.

It's tough to make things work unless you both want to so you HAVE to let her go. You may want her back simply because you love her or maybe it's because you haven't a clue how you're supposed to go on without her.

Your heart has not been disregarded but unfortunately your wife could not have stayed for the sake of your heart, your feelings or your vows. You are naturally in pain but think of living a miserable life in a loveless marriage. It takes two and this will no doubt scar you in trusting anyone else in the future. There's no harm being cautious but love - as you know - is a beautiflu thing so don't deny yourself the possibility. You can - and will - cope and eventually you will love again and allow someone into your heart. For now concentrate on keeping busy. I know it's hard accepting that it's over and it can be all consuming. Reminisce about your good times but don't dwell on the end. That can only lead to a downward spiral.

I wish you the very best and hope you surround yourself with love - right now from family & friends.

Over to you.

 

As hard as it may sound, we can't make others love us. I would suggest opening up your heart to her and explaining how you feel and if her final decision is still to go on separate ways, then this is something you have to accept.

I don't know the reason that lead her to move away from you, but this world is full of wonderful people and events that you shouldn't miss out. Live your pain, don't run away from it and don't keep it inside. If you feel like crying then do so, it helps to write down your thoughts and feelings on a notebook every day, make this your private time (and your healing sessions), write until you have no more words coming out from inside.

Only time will heal, so don't rush. We grow really fast when these type of situations come into our lives, so don't feel miserable and don't feel like a victim, since this will only make it last longer. Approach it like a person that knows that everything happens for a reason, every situation has a hidden knowledge that is waiting to be discovered. Stay strong. Ady.

 

I know it's really difficult in the situation you're right now, but there's still a chance...Why you say that your wife is not getitng with you anymore? Try it, but let me tell you that if she doesn't to do something for you to be together again, well....You'll have to move on...I know it sounds very very complicated but that's life. It also happened to me except the fact that I'm not married. My uncle died 2 years ago and it was really complicated, because he left 2 little and beautiful children. And for me was really hard to accept the fact that he was not going to be with me anymore. Pray always to God. He knows why he does these things to us. Talk this with a friend, or someone you appreciate. It's better to let it go out everything. And thank you for sharing your problem with us. Even do we don't know each other, I sent you a really BIG hug and my best wishes for you to recover. Saludos desde Mexico, Catalina.

 

I think none of us could be wise enough to give you and advice that would solve everything. Every now and then life gets harder that we can take, and that happens to everyone. At first, it feels like the whole world lost its sense but we learn to carrry on. You seem to be an amazing person that has true feelings, but you can't control everything. Love is different for each of us. Don't blame yourself. Don't stay too long in the past, you'll just be wasting your present. Just remember the good times and move on. I bet you'll find someone that loves you for who you are and as much as she can. I can't promiss it would be soon but it will happen. Also, don't look for it too hard, it will appear by itself. I know I sound too positive or cheesy but for some reason, I believe everything will turn out just fine.

Smile, we live in a beautiful world.

Lyssete - Lima, Peru.

 

It's not fair what your wife did to you but everything happens for a reason. It's normal for you to be hurting but you have to keep your head up because greater things in life are coming your way. But still, tell her how you feel, live your life to the fullest, let her know that you can still live a happy life without her. You are responsible for making yourself happy, no one else. Tolu.

 

It is always hard when love has to end. Many of us know what you are going through, and I am so sorry that you have to experience it. It is something I would not wish on my greatest enemy. I do believe, though, that everything happens for a reason. I know it sounds hard, and at times impossible, but sometimes we have to trust that the universe or God, or whatever you believe in, has a plan for us. Our plan is constantly in motion and there is a reason behind everything that happens to us. Perhaps there is a woman out there who is better suited for you. Someone who will understand every part of you and love you for the good ones and the bad. Someone who makes you feel connected; a true soulmate. It is hard to picture this now because your heart lies with your wife. But when this new person does appear, it will all make sense. Everything just aligns after that. Perhaps God (or the universe, etc.) really wants you to find this new person. They know that you can be fully happy when you come together, and the hardest part is waiting. Because it will not seem worth it until it finally happens. My advice is patience, understanding, and learning to love yourself, as well. You are a good person and if your wife does not see that, then you may not be meant to be together. But, it will all come together in the end. I wish you the best of luck, just remember to love! Surround yourself with things and people you love. My Very Best, Alexa.

 

Unfortunately there are many reasons why one partner is hurting more than another when there is a loss of a connection. Without knowing your relationship you cannot place any one moment for a reason. However most times one feels a disconnect while another is perfectly content with contentment. The other may feel as if it is not enough for them to just go through the motions. Maybe the candle burned out and it's gone far too long to light it up again. Love comes and goes and it takes two people to make it last. The first days of love are imprinted in ones heart and when the stage of blindness ends one compares the current relationship to what used to be. and disappointment and discouragement set in. I was once told, once a plate has been broken you can glue it back together as strong as you want, but in the end it's been broken and you know the cracks are there. If you heal you will learn to love again, but no two loves will ever feel the same.

Good Luck. Best, S.

 

My name is Christian and I'm 14 years old. I know you're hurt and you probably not gonna listen to a teenager, but before clicking out, just listen for a second. I can't give much, but I can try to cheer you up. I will try, not do it too sentimental. My first advice is, you should try to think about life a bit and consider your situation. Second, do something with the guys. Grab a beer with them and try to think of something else. I'm not saying that you should move on, but try to think of something else. Third, try to talk to her. I don't know your situation in this moment, but when the time is right try to sit down and talk. To finish my mail off I will tell you an old saying my mom used to tell me. It sounds like this "If you love something you gotta let it go and if it's loves you, it will come back". Again I'm just a teenager, so don't take me too seriously.

Hope you will get any luck out of the mail. Good luck in the future and I really hope you too gonna get back together. The best greetings, Christian.

 

At first，I have to say sorry to you，because I have no helpful advice for you. Actually，nobody can help you. Only yourself and time could cure you.

To be honest, I just broke up with my BF 5 months ago. I know the feeling. That's soooo bad at first It's nearly drove me nervous breakdown. But you should understand that everything has reason. Your wife left you also have some reasons. If the reason is misunderstands I suggest you communicate with your wife in a calm mood. There is no heart knot can't be opened.

But I also to say,IF she don't go back finally I hope you don't be too much upset. I always think no matter how heartbreak you feeling the life won't stop for you.

I just see your question and think about myself some months ago and wish can help you. Anyway, hope you can wake up.I know it‘s difficult but you should do. Vivi.

 

I'm sorry for what you're going through and that sort of pain is probably one of the worst kinds.

My advice to you is to grieve and give yourself time to feel your pain. All the while, talking to friends, giving yourself some respite and try to change the air, so to speak. After a while, think of why things went wrong in your relationship and how you can better yourself as a person. Everyone has room for improvement.

Don't contact your girl. Give her space.

If you choose to, after a few months, once you've healed a little and worked on yourself, I think its reasonable to contact her to see if you can work at healing the relationship together, if she agrees to. But you definitely have to be prepared and expect the answer to be no. At this point, you need to let go, say goodbye and move on.

You'll be okay. As the saying goes, "life goes on" and it's true. Tomorrow will be a better day. Best wishes. S.B.

 

I can't say I know what it feels like to feel that certain pain, but I have had to deal with a serious relationship coming to an abrupt end which left me still wanting to be together, but she had already moved on to other guys. Moving on is honestly one of the hardest things to do. It's normal to not want to feel that pain all over again. Taking that risk can be scary, but it is necessary as long as you feel ready. My best advice would be take a break from women (as long as you need,maybe stay occupied with friends or work), but once you feel ready you have to take that next step & hope it works out. Even if it doesn't right away, keep trying. "When you're tired of aiming your arrows. Still you never hit the mark. Come on, baby, don't let it break your heart." Just know that you WILL find someone else who you can completely trust with all of your heart & she will feel the same towards you. Best of luck, Nathan! Austin, Illinois, USA

 

I'm so sorry to hear that your marriage has come to this point. At this point, you two need to reach a conclusion to the impasse in front of you. It's obvious that you feel very strongly for her, and you may want to find a way to express this to her. Maybe ask her to lunch so you can talk about your future, and use this as an opportunity to tell her that you still feel very strongly for her. Tell her that you will do whatever it takes.

Now, I believe that your love for her is strong enough to heal this wound, but if she has to return this love, and she may not. It's hard to come to terms with this, and time is the only way that wound will heal, but it definitely will.

I know this is hard, but you'll get through this.

Best wishes, Bradley H.

 

You are stuck. You have two choices.

1. You wait for her, stay loyal

2. Allow yourself to get angry. Angry. Real angry. Let it out till you see the truth.

Do you still love someone who hurt you? Anon.

 

Nathan, I think you should try to move on. Surround yourself with your friends and family and never give up because you will get through this! Michelle.

 

I'm sorry you're having a bad time right now. I think the key words are "right now", as it's something that will feel better over time. You'll have to work on it, though. This might sound strange, but try not to take it too personally. People change in all kinds of ways. Don't think of it as something to do with who you are or about your pride, it's just about what she feels for someone else, or maybe even just what she doesn't feel between the two of you anymore. If she just doesn't have the same feelings, then there really isn't much you can do. It's not something you can help, not even something she can help. You should just try to accept that it's happened. I'm sure you've got other friends or things you like to do, so just concentrate on distracting yourself. You mentioned your vows and also that you feel "stuck". I think you'll continue to feel that way if you don't stop yourself from remembering every promise and plan you both made together. She most likely did mean it at the time, and if she didn't, then those promises were worthless anyway, right? Listen to a song called Anenome by The BJM. Hope this helps. Love, Darem.

 

This is a very painful experience for you and maybe you will never understand the reasons why she left. To accept your new situation is the first thing you can do to get out of your disappointment. Though a marriage wow is sacred, it can’t guarantee happiness. Live is happening every day, things are developing and changing. When we give something from ourselves we often can’t know if it will be appreciated forever or if our expectations will come true, you can’t ban any risk completely.

For me it is always helpful only to go one step further when I’m sure I won’t regret my decision, also when it is a wrong direction and I have to go back. Count more on the moments. Be yourself and don’t take away anything of your true identity because of your fear to be disappointed again.

It has to be seen who you are that you can be found.

Then be aware of every day life, try to keep the magic of the beginning and don’t give a chance to the daily routine to win. Very best wishes. L. Q.

 

I can feel your pain and hurt and any relationship breakdown is hard even if this is for the best.

I think we say our marriage vows and mean them at the time but at the time is just that, we are forever changing and developing beings from the experience of life itself and sometimes we grow together or apart neither is right or wrong or to blame on either party.

Embrace the change, feel the hurt for now but look ahead as life will get better and you will be happy even happier one day soon.

All the best Emma.

 

Thanks to all those who replied to this week’s question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

July 1, 2013 - submitted by Tyler, United States of America

 

Q. Hey Oracle!

 

I'm writing a novel currently and I was wondering if I was allowed to use Coldplay's name in the story? The protagonist is listening to Coldplay during a thought-provoking ride through New York City.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Yes, you can. However, if you were to mention the name of the Coldplay song they are listening to, you could not. The band do not own copyright to their songs so permission would be needed from Universal Publishing.

July 1, 2013 - submitted by Jake, United States of America

 

Q. Does any of the band members drive them selves to their gigs, or do they take a taxi or limo? I know they take trains and stuff but I saw a comment earlier you answered that said Chris takes a car sometimes. Does that mean he drives? Or does he get driven to the concerts?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

They are driven; it wouldn't be appropriate or advisable to come straight off stage all hot & sweaty with adrenalin levels at a high to drive. Chris has taken the tube to the O2 when they played there but getting a tube home wouldn't be a viable option.

You're telling me. Tube not a great option for fans after a gig either, esp when they close the ones nearest to the stadium! Not that I'm still in anyway annoyed about that ;)

July 1, 2013 - submitted by Jake, United States of America

 

Q. Does any of the band members drive them selves to their gigs, or do they take a taxi or limo? I know they take trains and stuff but I saw a comment earlier you answered that said Chris takes a car sometimes. Does that mean he drives? Or does he get driven to the concerts?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

They are driven; it wouldn't be appropriate or advisable to come straight off stage all hot & sweaty with adrenalin levels at a high to drive. Chris has taken the tube to the O2 when they played there but getting a tube home wouldn't be a viable option.

 

anyone who has seen The Scientist's video would know that Chris driving at all is not advisable :P