February 2, 201016 yr I can't believe I'm nervous because of that stupid class about speech that I don't give a fuck about that makes me sleep and want to kill myself viciously with my scalpels before going to biochem.
February 2, 201016 yr i think something broke when I hit the bottom. My brain is protecting me. Now I can't cry. I used to cry all the time like an emo demon. I'm sorry... It's not what I wish I could say, it's what I want to change about how I make you sad. How I disappoint you. How I just need to listen. I'll never stop trying... At least I think so... Even though I can't cry, my love is intact. At least I believe so... Why can't I cry? It's not because I'm not sad... I don't want to be here anymore in this place. In this town with everyone I know and no one I know. I don't want to be in this place where you aren't and I am. I don't want to know the truth. I don't want to be the one who "knows". I just want to be the one who cares. I don't want to be the one who understands. I don't understand. I want to be the one who listens. I want to be who I was and who I am when I'm just not scared.
February 2, 201016 yr sometimes i sit and stare. You might think I'm gone, but I'm sitting by the phone, waiting for the light to blink. Sometimes I sit and stare at my screen and wait for you to reply. Sometimes I wait for hours. It's like that scary movie. Except I usually fall asleep. And I won't poke you with needles.
February 3, 201016 yr I truly madly wish you would've embraced me into a great big bear hug instead of that half-hug thing...you did... But I will settle,... for now :shy:
February 3, 201016 yr ...you're being a bit of a dickhead, but I love you and don't wanna let you go. But maybe you don't want to even bother with our problems because you're too prideful and stubborn? I don't know what goes on in your head. Tell me. Maybe in many years to come, it might work a bit better though.
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