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Will You Marry Me?


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do you, dear crests, accept this non-competitive agreement:


For good consideration and as an inducement for Coldplaying to employ Crests, the undersigned Employee hereby agrees not to directly or indirectly compete with the business of the Company and its successors and assigns during the period of employment and for a period of 80 years following termination of employment and notwithstanding the cause or reason for termination.


The term "not compete" as used herein shall mean that the Employee shall not own, manage, operate, consult or be employed in a business substantially similar to, or competitive with, the present business of the Company or such other business activity in which the Company may substantially engage during the term of employment.


The Employee acknowledges that the Company shall or may in reliance of this agreement provide Employee access to trade secrets, customers and other confidential data and good will. Employee agrees to retain said information as confidential and not to use said information on his or her own behalf or disclose same to any third party.


This non-compete agreement shall extend only for a radius of 900 billion miles (or light years) from the present location of the Company and shall be in full force and effect for 45 trillion years, commencing with the date of employment termination.


This agreement shall be binding upon and inure to the benefit of the parties, their successors, assigns, and personal representatives. And Guy Berryman and Chris Martin will both marry Eric and you cannot even try to take anything away from him, or spy on them while they are getting it on.


"I do"



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