People who manipulate

[bart]

How do you make others realize they have been manipulated.

 

Over the past few years I have been living in various house shares, it’s been a nightmare, and I am looking to resolve this in the long term with a place of my own.

 

 

 

Most recent flat I moved in, there are 7 people altogether 2 couples, and 3 single people. Anyway before I moved in my landlord who rents the rooms announced to the flat mates that I was a dirty person and that’s why he moved me there.

 

The last placed I lived in was a place with people whom I did not get on with, I was not dirty, and I have always been mindful about clearing up after myself both in the bathroom and especially the kitchen since I had worked in the catering trade for 10 years in my life. I am almost obsessed in making sure I clean as I go along and since I live in a shared place, I take time to make sure I clear away my stuff that and clean the pots I have used before I even eat, as I know what it’s like when you come in and what to make something, but unless you’re willing to clean their stuff you have to wait until they have finished the process of eating etc.

 

Anyway,

 

Story 1.

 

I was asked one morning if I used one of the bathrooms by this girl in the flat one day, I said no, however I was repeatedly asked. I felt since there were other boys in the flat they should have been asked too, however due to my landlords story of which was not true, she believed this and used this as a lead.

 

Story 2.

 

We had a small party in the flat the next day, the flat mate who does not like me asked me if I had used a cup from the night before, but I never cleaned it. I assured her, the night before I took my time and ensured I cleared everything away, she did not believe me, and went off the scale. In the end in order to shut her up, I said it was myself when it was not.

 

Story 3.

 

I have always made sure when someone is using the kitchen, I give them space even it means I can not go on and eat and choose to eat somewhere else. I heard since this a comon thing in shared flats.

 

I was cooking one day, almost completed, and came in and started to cook over me. A little annoyed, however taking into account our prevous confrontations I wonderd how I would play it. So in the end, I said to her " I normally wait for other people to finish using the kitchen area, cooking area until they are finish "

 

Again she went mental, and despite me trying to word it as best as possible again I was the loser. In addition to this, I had to wait for her to finish cooking so I could clear my own stuff. I have a policy of never leaving my own dirty washing up for others to do .

 

In addition to this of which I was disgusted by she was also smoking whilst preapering her own food, whilst my food was still being made. Sorry but that is totally disrepectul for others that want to use the kicthen.

Story 4

 

Over the weekend, the flat mate had a party, I was not invited for obvious reasons, and did not fancy spending the night in my room when there was a party going on in the living room. The next afternoon I woke up, in order to start preparing myself for work, and I would have needed to use the kitchen. I directly asked the flat mate since the kitchen looked like a bomb hit it if they can clean the kitchen, so I can make my food for work, moments later I am confronted by her angry boyfriend, and the flat mates for making her upset. I simply said what I asked her to do and the manner I said it in, it was clear he or the flat mates did not believe me.

 

---

 

In all of this there is a challenge for me, it’s a flat in Barcelona and despite my level of Spanish being quite good whereas there is days I don’t even get to speak English with someone face to face. It leaves things in a bit of a challenge when someone who has superior methods of communicating their side of the story. In addition this was communicated in French to her boyfriend of which I don’t understand apart from a couple of foul words as they are pretty similar in Spanish.

 

 

Hopefully she will leave soon, however the damage and my relationship with the other flat mates is already I feel beyond repair, it came out afterwards about my previous place with a conservation with my landlord he had not took time to hear my side of the story in the last place I was but he promised he would do something about it and clear my name. This was never done. Only a few of the flat mates have seen that this might not be true.

 

For the time being despite the frosty atmosphere in the flat I don’t wish to move. I have had some awful luck in the places I been living over the past year, been robbed of deposits etc. This landlord I know wont do this to me, and I am tired of moving, I want this to be the last place I live before I move in a flat of my own !

[Cobalt]

She sounds like a bitch who wants everything her own way, and it seems you can't confront her about it or she'll go off her rocker...

[Reilly]

Maybe you should stop being so mean to her Daryl.

[bart]

Maybe you should stop being so mean to her Daryl.

 

I am not being mean, thankfully the bitch is doing one soon, and her trani looking boyfriend as well !

[Reilly]

I was clearly joking.

 

But this part intrigues me:

 

Anyway before I moved in my landlord who rents the rooms announced to the flat mates that I was a dirty person and that’s why he moved me there.

 

This bit I didn't really get, like you clearly explain that you definitely aren't dirty, but why would he say such a thing? Also, if you are dirty in one of his flats what would be the point in moving you to another one of his flats? And how do you know he said this? Surely one of the other flatmates wouldn't just go "Oh by the way the landlord said you're dirty".

 

Or did he actually "announce" it as he brought you into the group of people to introduce you:

 

Landlord: El senior Daryl! El es mucho stinkeh en es poocho!

Typical Spaniards: JAJAJAJAJAJA

Daryl: :embarrassed:

[Bright]

Maybe she found out who really put those chocolates between her buttcheecks :blank:

[Josh42]

I was clearly joking.

 

But this part intrigues me:

 

 

 

This bit I didn't really get, like you clearly explain that you definitely aren't dirty, but why would he say such a thing? Also, if you are dirty in one of his flats what would be the point in moving you to another one of his flats? And how do you know he said this? Surely one of the other flatmates wouldn't just go "Oh by the way the landlord said you're dirty".

 

Or did he actually "announce" it as he brought you into the group of people to introduce you:

 

Landlord: El senior Daryl! El es mucho stinkeh en es poocho!

Typical Spaniards: JAJAJAJAJAJA

Daryl: :embarrassed:

 

Lol'd hard.

 

I also am a bit confused by that part Daryl. I know you're a nice guy so I don't know what this nonsense is all about.

[bart]

I was clearly joking.

 

But this part intrigues me:

 

 

 

This bit I didn't really get, like you clearly explain that you definitely aren't dirty, but why would he say such a thing? Also, if you are dirty in one of his flats what would be the point in moving you to another one of his flats? And how do you know he said this? Surely one of the other flatmates wouldn't just go "Oh by the way the landlord said you're dirty".

 

Or did he actually "announce" it as he brought you into the group of people to introduce you:

 

Landlord: El senior Daryl! El es mucho stinkeh en es poocho!

Typical Spaniards: JAJAJAJAJAJA

Daryl: :embarrassed:

 

 

no I was told by one of the former flatmates before she left, she said I dont think what the landlord said about you was true, at this time I had no idea what he had said, this is another story that lead up to this all together.

 

When I think about it, I left one of this landlord flats a few years ago, as he never really cared who lived in his flats and the mix of people that lived within.

 

However the experince you will find if you live with someone and pay them a deposit and wish to leave often they dont have the money when you leave, and it takes months if ever to get it back.

 

I have lost over 700 euros in lost deposits.

[xxKels]

Maybe she found out who really put those chocolates between her buttcheecks :blank:

 

 

LOL I remember this. wow.

[busybeeburns]

Landlord: El senior Daryl! El es mucho stinkeh en es poocho!

Typical Spaniards: JAJAJAJAJAJA

Daryl: :embarrassed:

:laugh3:

 

Daryl I do have a lot of respect for you moving to Spain to live and learn a new language and trying to earn rent at the same time blah blah, but surely its time to come home now?

[bart]

:laugh3:

 

Daryl I do have a lot of respect for you moving to Spain to live and learn a new language and trying to earn rent at the same time blah blah, but surely its time to come home now?

 

 

I have give that some thought, but I am here for the next 4 years of my life at least.

 

I spoke with my family some years ago, they are proud of me and there for me anytime I wish to go back, they see despite the problems with flats etc happier than I was in Manchester. Also I have changed wheras on a cultral level it would take me a while to re settle, plus I love the beer here and non agression in the streets and bars too much.

 

 

I dont get " who you looking at mate "

"Your a blue, your in a red pub get out of here " etc

"or give me your money" then we beat you up anyway "