it seems that when someone posts a thread in here about general advice or something of a personal nature, you guys are receptive to it, and for whatever twisted reasoning I have, I feel like I can talk about this with you guys.

 

I don't know what's going on in my head, but with all the stuff happening in the forum and in my "real" life, I've just gained this sudden feeling of loneliness, and when that happens, I tend to get that scared feeling of being alone for forever and not finding someone who can make me truly happy. I feel bad for feeling bad about this because frankly, I don't think I should. Other people deserve to be that happy, and as people tell me, I have time. I just feel like I deserve to be happy, too, and despite everyone's encouragement, I feel like I really don't have as much time as everyone says I do.

 

Actually, that's not even my main concern. It's actually finding someone who can appreciate someone like me, which I don't think is a common thing at all, given what I know about myself as a person and what others tend to want in terms of that sort of thing. I get this feeling that no matter what, I'll never be good enough for anyone. I hate failing at these sorts of things so much.

 

I wouldn't normally talk about this in public, but I'm seriously trying not to have a panic attack and become a hot mess over this. You'll probably think this was totally stupid, but I feel like I reeeeeally need to get this out of my system. I'm having trouble typing because my hands are starting to shake. I don't even think I really said everything I want to say, but like I said, I'm having problems, and you guys probably don't care about this sort of thing, anyway, so I'm just gonna leave that alone and close this by admitting that I have a helluva lot of issues that I need to resolve. :|

I completely understand what you're saying. (I know I'm only 15, but I feel insanely lonely most of the time and now with all these threads it just hasn't helped o.o .)

You just have to keep in mind that no matter how you feel about yourself, you'll always be good enough for someone. Although most of the time this seems to relate to friends and family, you shouldn't give up finding a successful relationship with someone else. It can be so hard to be and feel alone sometimes, but in the meantime you just have to keep trying to put yourself out there; meet new people and try to kindle new flames.

This is probably no help at all; I can never get what I'm thinking into words. :disappointed: I hope you're alright, though. :hug:

This is not stupid Violet, I don't know if I can understand you completely but I think I can relate to that at some point. I won't say "I know how you feel" because well, everyone feels different about the same issues but well, if you want to talk you know where you can find me.

 

I wish I could say something to make you feel better, and not because is the nice thing to do, it's just that you seem to be a great person, so sweet and smart and you have great determination! seriously more people there should appreciate that. You deserve great things. I don't know when you'll find someone special but I really hope you will do it soon, you're a great person so I'm sure there's someone out there who will realize that.

You'll find someone eventually. I know it's silly to say it but it's true.

I know how you feel.

 

Like before I felt the same way. Sure I could hang out with guys and talk to them and be into them and vice versa or whatever.

 

But I felt like... I couldn't actually ever be my complete self around someone.

 

But yeah that has changed. I know it's definitely hard to believe right now, but eventually you'll find someone.

 

You'll find someone who will not only accept those things about you that you think are "not good enough" (that's silly), but they'll love them.

 

Don't settle for anything less either.

Awww, shit, I'm about to start crying. I don't even know what for, given how nice everyone is being. FUCK. I think I'm going to go do my weight work now. Maybe that will help.

You'll find someone eventually. I know it's silly to say it but it's true.

 

true fact.

 

Everyone has different tastes. It may seem weird or even totally redonkous that somebody would want to be with you (for whatever reasons) but trust me when I say I've seen some pretty weird people (like a lot weirder than you, bro) get together with somebody and be totally fulfilled and happy with each other. Please don't give up. :sad:

See, this is what I don't get. People are always telling me, "Violet, you're such a beautiful person, you'll find someone." Well, why haven't I found someone, then, if I'm so great? I don't even know. It's not like I'm not trying. Trust me, I have. It just never does anything. For the most part, I get politely rejected by the party involved, and they even tell me that I'm a nice person, but I'm just not right or something else. I'm just like, "What am I doing wrong?"

 

I really shouldn't complain about this. I should worry about school. I have a year left before I graduate with my undergrad degree. It's not a good idea to start something now. It's just that for whatever reason, this is something I've always wanted, but never really had the opportunity to have, and at times like this, I get really bummed about it. WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF? :bigcry:

Guys are superficial, it's sad but true.

See, I KNEW I was ugly. :bigcry:

See, this is what I don't get. People are always telling me, "Violet, you're such a beautiful person, you'll find someone." Well, why haven't I found someone, then, if I'm so great? I don't even know. It's not like I'm not trying. Trust me, I have. It just never does anything. For the most part, I get politely rejected by the party involved, and they even tell me that I'm a nice person, but I'm just not right or something else. I'm just like, "What am I doing wrong?"

 

I really shouldn't complain about this. I should worry about school. I have a year left before I graduate with my undergrad degree. It's not a good idea to start something now. It's just that for whatever reason, this is something I've always wanted, but never really had the opportunity to have, and at times like this, I get really bummed about it. WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF? :bigcry:

Have you tried letting them come to you? :shrug: Sometimes people just have to relax and let things happen to them, if that makes sense. I dunno.

Guys are superficial, it's sad but true.

I don't really think I agree; sure, some guys are, but definitely not all of them...

 

except a lot of them are gay :cry:

 

or HAVE GIRLFRIENDS :bigcry: WAH WAH WAH

Coming to me? Hell, that shit only works for pretty people. I'm not exactly the person people are going to look at and say, "Hey, I totally want to date her." People tend to think I'm too weird. Some of my closest friends even admitted to me they thought I was weird initially. :disappointed:

 

God, I don't even know what to think anymore. I know you guys are telling me stuff, and I really appreciate that, but I've somehow got myself stuck in a rut. SOMEONE FIX IT.

See, I KNEW I was ugly. :bigcry:

 

I never said that, actually I was thinking about my case. It's kind of annoying when guys just approach to the pretty friends and I'm like FOREVER ALONE. Of course not every guy is like that but they mostly care about boobs and stuff, specially when they're young. Anyway this is not about me and I'm sorry about the post, sometimes I can't explain my ideas in a good way :(

I won't say I know what you're going through, but I think I have a pretty good idea. I think the only thing that saves me from having moods like that all the time is that I can be such a loner sometimes so it doesn't really matter to me then. But no one's meant to be a loner.

 

The thing to remember is that we're all fallible human beings. We all have issues. We all screw up. We all have things we're not proud of. There is no such thing as 'perfect' or 'normal'. Any human who goes into a relationship without being willing to take that into account and even accept that in both themself and their partner is a fool doomed for quick disappointment.

 

And we all have dark nights of the soul. But the sun always comes up in the morning and we get on with living life. :sunny: (Which happens to be the best way to meet the right someone- being out there living, doing what you love, willing to meet new people in the process.)

Coming to me? Hell, that shit only works for pretty people. I'm not exactly the person people are going to look at and say, "Hey, I totally want to date her." People tend to think I'm too weird. Some of my closest friends even admitted to me they thought I was weird initially. :disappointed:

 

God, I don't even know what to think anymore. I know you guys are telling me stuff, and I really appreciate that, but I've somehow got myself stuck in a rut. SOMEONE FIX IT.

 

No, no no! that's exactly what I mean when I say that weird people (or non-pretty, or whatever, it doesn't matter) end up finding people. Or what I meant was, I guess love comes from unexpected places. I meant you go through your life thinking "UGH UGH nobody likes me this will never work out nothing will ever happen with my lifeee ugh nooo" but then you just meet somebody and they take a fancy to you and it just... works out. But you can't go running everywhere begging for it. I don't know if this makes sense. I guess I don't really know, but this is just the impression I've gotten from observation... D:

 

My English teacher told us once about an old friend of his named Tom and once they were at the mall and Tom started freaking out about this ugly old dude sitting on a bench, and he was really curmudgeonly and unpleasant, but Tom was totes camotes obsessed by him and almost asked him out on a date until he realized he was straight (wups). I mean, semi-unrelated story, but it's just an example...

(Which happens to be the best way to meet the right someone- being out there living, doing what you love, willing to meet new people in the process.)

 

Exactly, this is what I think. At a certain point you just have to come to terms with your life and accept every part of it and just do what you want, and things fall in place from there. I mean maybe that's sort of a fairy-tale idea but it's better than running around trying really hard at stuff you're failing at... (Not just relationships. Life in general.)

I never said that, actually I was thinking about my case. It's kind of annoying when guys just approach to the pretty friends and I'm like FOREVER ALONE. Of course not every guy is like that but they mostly care about boobs and stuff, specially when they're young. Anyway this is not about me and I'm sorry about the post, sometimes I can't explain my ideas in a good way :(

 

I never said you said I was ugly. That's just something that I have learned to accept. People have told me that I shouldn't say that about myself, but really, I'm not gonna lie to myself and say that I'm physically attractive. Actually, I remember once telling someone, "Hey, it's OK that I'm ugly, because without ugly people, you wouldn't be able to have pretty people."

 

Like I said, I'm kinda messed up. :|

Exactly, this is what I think. At a certain point you just have to come to terms with your life and accept every part of it and just do what you want, and things fall in place from there. I mean maybe that's sort of a fairy-tale idea but it's better than running around trying really hard at stuff you're failing at... (Not just relationships. Life in general.)

 

That's easier said than done. It's not that I haven't accepted myself. I just don't know what to do now. You guys are telling me to do what I want, but honestly, I don't really want a whole lot. It's a whole lot easier for me to do things for other people than it is to do things for myself. I have my things that I do for myself, but nothing really extreme, y'know.

I never said you said I was ugly. That's just something that I have learned to accept. People have told me that I shouldn't say that about myself, but really, I'm not gonna lie to myself and say that I'm physically attractive. Actually, I remember once telling someone, "Hey, it's OK that I'm ugly, because without ugly people, you wouldn't be able to have pretty people."

 

Like I said, I'm kinda messed up. :|

AGH Violet, stop this now! "Without ugly people, you wouldn't have pretty people"?? Bullshit. If you (think you) are ugly, it's not a big fucking deal. Most people aren't that pretty. In the long run it doesn't actually matter. Don't take that attitude. It's not like if your face looks like x the only way to come to terms with it is it makes people realize how much nicer face y is. That's such an unhealthy relationship to have with yourself. You have to accept yourself before others can accept you.

That's easier said than done. It's not that I haven't accepted myself. I just don't know what to do now. You guys are telling me to do what I want, but honestly, I don't really want a whole lot. It's a whole lot easier for me to do things for other people than it is to do things for myself. I have my things that I do for myself, but nothing really extreme, y'know.

You may think you accept yourself, but you can't take an attitude like that. You really honest-to-god can't. It not only makes you unhappy, it leaks into other people and it's just aughghghg.

 

:sad:

I think I just realized what my problem is.

 

I don't know how to function like a normal human being. At all. It seems that my whole lifestyle is completely wrong.

 

My attempt at trying not to cry this whole time has now failed. All I want at this point is a hug and a pint of ice cream, and I can't have either. FUCK ME.

Sometimes I really wish we all could live closer, I'd go to hug you right now (no ice cream of course I shouldn't eat it neither :lol:)

Okay okay okay okay please calm down.

 

"Normal human being" is a concept you have to throw out the window. If you want to change your life to be like other people, good, but do it for yourself and to make you happy. Don't just think your life is wrong because it's not "normal". Don't do things for other people, do them for you.

 

I've been saying this but I honestly think you have to feel better about yourself and be happier with yourself before you can have a stable relationship with someone. But you also can't try to do that just to get in a relationship either, because then you're not doing it for yourself, you know? Please just take some deep breaths and maybe lie in bed for a little while and try to find your center, or stay calm, or whatever. You won't be happy with life or any relationships ever if you aren't happy with yourself, which you should be, because you're a good person who does good things.

Chile is too far awaaaaay. :bigcry:

Okay okay okay okay please calm down.

 

"Normal human being" is a concept you have to throw out the window. If you want to change your life to be like other people, good, but do it for yourself and to make you happy. Don't just think your life is wrong because it's not "normal". Don't do things for other people, do them for you.

 

I've been saying this but I honestly think you have to feel better about yourself and be happier with yourself before you can have a stable relationship with someone. But you also can't try to do that just to get in a relationship either, because then you're not doing it for yourself, you know? Please just take some deep breaths and maybe lie in bed for a little while and try to find your center, or stay calm, or whatever. You won't be happy with life or any relationships ever if you aren't happy with yourself, which you should be, because you're a good person who does good things.

 

Nope, too late. Tranquility has left the building.

 

I don't think you understand. I don't do things for myself. I don't want anything, dammit. I just want other people to be happy. I'm secondary. I'm perfectly OK with that. I'm fine with putting things before myself, and I know when to take time for me. I have a lot of goals set for this summer, and dammit, I plan to meet them. I'm trying really really hard to explain that it's not really what you think it is, but apparently I suck at that, too. It's not that I'm not happy with myself. I just have times like this where I get all caught up in my thoughts, and bad things happen. It's a very bad habit I have, and I shouldn't do it, but hey, it happens.

 

I don't even know where to go from here. Maybe I shouldn't. All it's doing is confusing everything for me and making me feel more hopeless by the minute.

I haven't read latest posts but seriously Violet you have to be patient, the right person will come, but before that you have to be rejected or have failed relationships before that, it's the natural progression I guess.

But it will happen.