If anyone is interested here is a link to a song called 'War' that I wrote and which I recorded at my friend's house [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wui4wfHls6s]War (by Ian Hoare) - YouTube[/ame]

 

I did have a bit of a sore throat when making the recording so one day I might do it again but in the meantime any feedback would be appreciated

 

Thanks

 

Ian

Man that's brilliant! I love your voice, sounds like Alex Turner!

The guitar's a bit out of tune though, but the sound's fantastic, what software was used?

I think the lyrics are just superb, top notch effort!

I really like it :smiley:

I'm no expert on song structure and stuff,

but, maybe,

if you changed the 2nd "what have we come to?" section to something which I believe is called a break, it might make the song a bit less "flat"

maybe something hopefull?

 

I'm no professional lyric writer, but this came to my mind :)

(after; "and it goes on day by day")

but just don't let go, you've got to hold on, and with some luck and love, all struggles will be gone

 

 

anyway, your voice is great!

Thanks for the encouragemnt and the advise. I don’t think my voice is anywhere near as good as Alex Turner’s but I am about the same age as him and I'm originally from Chesterifled (which is near Sheffield where Alex is from) so there are some slight similarities in the way that we talk! I'm not sure what software my friend used but glad you like it.

 

If anyone else has any feedback (good or bad) I'd be happy to hear it

Well the lylrics on the screen were a pain in the ass.

Otherwise great. I could imagine it being played in the background in some movie or TVseries.