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this is hysterical


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i found it on another board and thought i`d share:




> Well, it's shit...

> That's right, shit!

> Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.


> Consider:


> You can be shit faced,

> Shit out of luck,

> Or have shit for brains.


> With a little effort, you can get your shit together,

> Find a place for your shit

> Or decide to shit or get off the pot.


> You can smoke shit,

> Buy shit, sell shit,

> Lose shit, find shit,

> Forget shit,

> And tell others to eat shit and die.


> Some people know their shit,

> While others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola.


> There are lucky shits,

> Dumb shits,

> Crazy shits,

> And sweet shits.


> There is bull shit,

> Horse shit

> And chicken shit.


> You can throw shit,

> Sling shit,

> Catch shit,

> Shoot the shit,

> Or duck when shit hits the fan.


> You can give a shit

> Or serve shit on a shingle.

> You can find yourself in deep shit

> Or be happier than a pig in shit.


> Some days are colder than shit,

> Some days are hotter than shit,

> And some days are just plain shitty.


> Some music sounds like shit,

> Things can look like shit,

> And there are times when you feel like shit.

> You can have too much shit,

> Not enough shit,

> The right shit,

> The wrong shit

> Or a lot of weird shit.


> You can carry shit,

> Have a mountain of shit,

> Or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.

> Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit,

> And other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a

> rose.


> When you stop to consider all the facts,

> It's the basic building block of creation.

> And remember, once you know your shit,

> You don't need to know anything else!


> You could pass this along, if you give a shit!

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