Hey yiz'all, I wrote the following story when I was 13 so I guess it wasnt too bad at the time. About a year or so after I wrote it, I revised it and decided I'd work on it, research some actual places in the story and generally make it more realistic, and less plain ridiculous. But I didnt do that, 3 or 4 years ago, and I just found it today and Im considering re-doing the start (Which is what Im posting) and then finishing it.

 

Like I just said, its un-finished, read it if you will, I'll need some kind of inspiration to get me going on it. Tell me thoughts, comments, ideas even, or dont.

 

----

 

Taps

 

As the sun is slowly disappearing over a Red New York sky-line, the hard working modern business men and women are leaving their 9 to 5 jobs jobs for another day as they walk out of their tall leaning structures.

In a building, just a little bit taller than all the rest, president of New York power supply, Richard Godfried, leaves his large luxurious office with briefcase in one hand and Italian blazer over his shoulder. He whistles as he walks down the halls, past the empty offices, he of course knew it wasnt his fault he was working late, again.

He took an elevator to a lower flower and walked along another uniform hallway and came to a door which was slightly open. He knocked politely and entered.

“Dr. Pritchard,” He said in the small hygenic room with microscopes lined up on a lab table; “Hows the water sampling going?”

The doctor pushed his glasses back up his nose and spoke with a deep voice; “Sorry to say Rich, it's all chlorine again.”

“God damnit,” He slammed his fist into the desk; “Purchasing that damn water plant was my biggest mistake. Call those idiots down at Taps and tell them to clean out the damn filters, again.”

“No problem,” The doctor replied.

“Oh, and if theres another problem I'm coming down there personally,” The important man said threateningly; “Tell them that. Thanks a lot Steve, I'll see you tomorrow.”

“See you then Rich.”

Mr. Godfried left the room, enterting the dark hall as the ramaining doctor lifted the phone off its hook and began dialling...

 

Just casted off the main part of the city, along the open coastline and within view of the actual Statue of Liberty, was a rather small block building with many pipes running through it, going in and out of the water. On closer inspection the building was plain baige, but needed some new paintwork done. A few metres away from the building was the rusting metal sign which could just barely be read, which said 'T.A.P.S'. A small cartoon expression of a metal tap is seen beside the lettering on this unnatractive sign.

The inside of the building is no more glamorous than the outside, as through the darkness, pipes can be seen running up and down the walls with many other gauges and valves in random places.

Standing over a large black sink was Lloyd, with black rubber gloves on he sprayed liquid onto a rack of what appeared to be a set of brushes, like filters. Lloyd, looking in his early 40's, has hair that just droops past his curled ears, as he stands taller than most men.

“What? Another filter clean?” A voice is heard on the right hand side of Lloyd as Chuck talks onto an old fashioned phone; “We're in the middle of cleaning all the filters after that after that oil rig! ... OK ... Yes, alright ... Alright!”

Chuck half heartadly slams the phone down and turns over excited in the most angriest of ways to Lloyd, standing nearly a foot shorter than his co-worker.

“Again Lloyd! Again! Chlorines leaked into the water Lloyd!-”

“Calm it down,” Lloyd says in a stern voice; “I've been lazering oil off these filters for 3 hours. I'm not worrying about any chlorine, not today.”

“But Pritchard said!-”

“I dont care, what he did or did not say. WE run this plant and WE have ran it for a very long time, and WE know what is important and what is not... And chlorine, is not.”

Chuck looks down at the ground assessing what Lloyd has told him and then nods his head in agreement; “Yeah! Thats right Lloyd! I'll tell those guys up at their big, big buildings exactly what we're doing! Yeah right on Lloyd!-”

“-That's all good, but we got some filters to clean for now.”

“Right, right Lloyd.”

Lloyd passes the smaller man a pair of gloves as he slips them on, he then grabs a hose and begins to spray the same filters that Lloyd has been doing, he begins talking in a frustrated voice to Lloyd, who doesn't seem very interested.

“Its just, its that Godfried guy! Hes up there in his high building's, nagging and complaining! I cant stand it!”

“Calm down Chuck the water just has some chlorine, we just have a chlorine complaint and that is all,” Lloyd tries to calm him down .

“But the guy! Mr. Godfried! He said he'll come down here Lloyd and personally check us out! I dont like the sound of that Lloyd, not at all,” By now Chuck has completely stepped away from the sink and is walking towards the only window in the building.

“Come down here? Here? You actually think- hey, hey Chuck where you going? Chuck, we have a lot of stuff to clean here.”

A concerned Lloyd turns around to see Chuck looking out the small grimey window as he holds back the curtains, and is scornfully looking up at the building's above.

“I bet he's up there right now, that old-”

“-Will you get back here and help already? God...” Chuck returns to the sink as Lloyd turns back around they continue working at the filters; “If anyone should be angry at that Godfried, it should be me.”

“Ahh I dont know Lloyd I was pretty angry when he stopped funding soap in staff toilets.”

Lloyd simply responds by looking at Chuck angrily; “... I was in that building, a way up there, when I was younger, more naïve. I worked behind a desk, like everyone else in New York, I was actually very lucky to get such a job, and what happened? I spilled some water on his lap, and he felt it appropriate to send me down to this rusting building for the rest of my life. Some water on his lap, not even that much, can you believe that?”

“No not at all... Well- yes I believe it but no its still bad, you know what Im trying-”

“-It was hardly 'boiling', whiney bitch. So after he bought this place I started fresh, working here, and still havent been given the chance to move. That's what makes me angriest... Oh if I had Godfried's water infront of me, there'd be much worse than just chlorine in it.”

“I was thinking that Lloyd but this is Richard Godfried's water! Its probably stored in some, super clean, monitored tank or something!”

“-Or a water cooler,” Lloyd replies cunningly.

“Or yes! That!”

“Dont worry we'll get our own back on him, someday, someway. We have to, somehow.”

“Yeah well we better because I am pretty damn sick of cleaning filters,” Chuck says as he continues to spray these filters.

“I hear that...”

The moonlight takes over the New York City skyline for another night.

 

Approaching lunch-time, Mr. Godfried is stepping out of his office and walks down the hall, making his way, once again, to Dr. Pritchard's office downstairs.

“Dr. Pritchard?” A knock is heard on the door of the office; “You get the water samples today?”

“Hey, all negative Im afraid,” The doctor replies; “All chlorine, once again.”

“Damn,” The disapointment on Godfried's face is obvious; “Get those idiots down at taps up here, immediately, I'll be back after lunch. Show them exactly whats wrong and tell them to fix it, I dont care how, just make sure they know and they better hope they are gone before I come back. Thanks.”

The doctor nods as Mr. Godfried leaves the room; “Hmmm...” He says, peaking out the door and then closing it. He then opens up a small cupboard and looks around, as he takes out a cigar; “Godfried's gone, time for a break...”

 

For the 2nd day in a row the phone is ringing back at TAPS, and Chuck reaches for it, again.

“Hello there?” Chuck speaks into the telephone; “Oh, oh. I see. Okay, I guess uhm, I'll be up in a couple of minutes. Yeah, goodbye?”

“Whats going on Chuck?” Lloyd asks as he's still cleaning filters.

“Its, its the water doctor-”

“Yeah?” Lloyd looks across at him.

“Mr. Godfried wants one of us up in that big ole building right now. Alright Lloyd?”

“Im not going up,” Lloyd looks back down at what hes cleaning.

“But-”

“You'll be fine, its no big deal,” Lloyd says reassuring him; “Just relax, the doc will show you whats wrong and you'll be out of there. There's no way I'm ever going back up there again.”

“Okay...” Chuck still seem's nervous.

“Just make sure you're gone before Godfried comes back from lunch,” Lloyd looks over at the clock; “You better go now actually, to make good time. Go, run.”

“Oh, uh, okay, Im gone Im gone.” Chuck quickly rushes out of the room.

 

After one knock on the doctors door it swings open; “Hold on!” The doctor says as he takes his cigar out of his mouth in a smoke filled room, Chuck enters looking curious; “Just close the door.”

Chuck closes the door and looks a little bit nervous; “Hi?”

“Didnt think you'd be here so fast,” Dr Pritchard taps out his cigar and slips it into the cupboard, he opens two windows at the end of the room as he looks displeased; “Now, for those damn samples.”

Chuck timidly walks forward as the doctor looks through some sheets and sits down; “Its a simple problem really.” He looks up at Chuck; “Just too much chlorine, 17% of the water is chlorine, which means the water will be visibly white. This doesnt look good for water supply, what have you guys done since yesterday?”

“...Cleaned-” Chuck is still timid as he scratches his head uncomfortably.

“-Good, keep doing that. Add some acid stabilizers and all will be fine, just make sure-”

Another knock is heard on the door; “Steve?” Its the sound of Godfried's voice, a nervous Chuck slips behind the door as it opens, hiding.

“Yes, sir?” The doctor looks at him as he turns in his chair; “You're back early, very early.”

“Actually I havent left yet, bit caught up on work. You talk to the guys from Taps? Where they here?”

“Well,” Steve looks across at Chuck who is just behind the door but would be completely visible if Godfried simply turned around. Steve nods towards Chuck but Godfried doesnt notice as he starts sniffing.

“Is that smoke Steve?” Mr Godfried still sniffs in disgust; “Cigar smoke? You know we're not allowed smoking in here doctor, I mean, you'd lose your job.”

“Uh-” A panicking Dr. Pritchard thinks quick; “Actually, that, guy from Taps, he already, was, here. The guy stinked of smoke actually, stinked of it.”

“Oh,” Godfried loses his suspicions at the doctor's excuse; “He was quick. You tell him exactly what to do?”

“Yes sir, sure did.”

“Great,” Godfried reaches behind him for the door, as Chuck covers his face still trying to stay hid; “And if that guy from Taps comes in here again stinking of smoke, you tell him what to do, outside.”

“No problem sir, no problem,” Godfried nods and walks out swiftly closing the door, not even noticing the nervous Chuck as he walks out from hiding, looking a bit relieved.

“You got lucky,” The doctor says, then he laughs to himself; “Heh, so did I... Well, you can go now, not much else you need to know.”

“Oh? Then, goodbye, I guess.” Chuck stops for a moment and half turns to the door, and then looks at the doctor, who looks up inquisitively at Chuck; "I mean, couldnt you have- sorry just, didnt you just tell that to me on the phone?"

"Haha sorry man, y'know Godfried he just needs to put the fear of God into you. Dragged you up here for nothing, alright?" He looks implying for Chuck to leave.

"Yeah yeah, alright." Chuck looks a bit confused as he turns and opens the door, as the doctor reaches back into the cupboard.

“Goodbye... Close the door.”

 

“Hi Chuck,” Back at Taps, Lloyd is still working as Chuck enters the small building and slams the door behind him; “Good news?”

“Lloyd, Lloyd! He was so close!”

“Who?” Lloyd looks up at him.

“Godfried!” Chuck is still panicking; “He was like, right infront of me! And didnt see me! And the smoke, the doc said I smoke dand Lloyd I dont smoke!-”

“-Alright alright calm down,” Lloyd then pauses; “Wait, he said you smoked? Any ideas why?”

“To make me look bad! The room stank of smoke and he wanted me to look bad! Godfried was SO angry!”

“Wait hold on a second here,” Lloyd walks towards Chuck; “The room stank of smoke with Pritchard in there? Chuck, I'm pretty sure he wasnt trying to make you look bad.”

“Whadd'ya mean?”

“Yeah, lets talk more about what went on... Hell, you idiot...”

 

The next day, Godfried is once again leaving his office for lunch.

He stops by the doctor's office again, as he knocks on the door; “Steve? Hows the sampling going for today?”

“Oh, hello Mr Godfried I-, sorry sir I haven't checked yet. But I'll be sure to have them first thing after lunch.”

“Great, I'll be back in an hour then.” Godfried turns and leaves the room, as once again Dr. Pritchard, left standing in the office, closes the door and reaches inside the cupboard.

“Ahh,” Dr. Pritchard blows grey smoke around the office as he smokes the cigar; “That's good Cuban...”

Suddenly, from the other side of the room a flash hits the wall. The doctor turns around to see 2 window wipers outside his window on a scaffolding, just about to clean the window.

“Damn, shocked me there,” Dr. Pritchard walks towards the window, slightly opening it; “Hi boys, mind if I smoke?...Hey, dont I know you from somewhere?”

At a closer glance the two window wipers are actually Lloyd and Chuck, the doctor looks at Chuck as he shrugs his shoulders. Lloyd speaks for him, through the window; “Just let us do our job, doc.”

“Right,” The doctor closes the window and turns around, as he continues to smoke, a brief confused look comes across his face; "Doc? Hmmm... Eh."

Outside the window Lloyd and Chuck wheel the scaffolding down so they cant be seen from Dr. Pritchard's office, he turns around and notices they're gone; “Damn, that was quick.”

 

Only a half an hour later Lloyd and Chuck are seen outside of the large building owned by Godfried, as they stand by the sidewalk.

“You sure this'll work Lloyd? Will we get in trouble?”

“You won't,” Lloyd said; “Just wait here and leave if I aint back in 10 minutes, head for Taps or something I dont care.”

“Al-alright Lloyd.” Chuck nods as Lloyd walks into the large building.

 

Inside the building, a knock is heard on the doctor's door.

“Come on in,” Dr. Pritchard welcomes as Lloyd enters; “Hi there, whats your business here?”

Lloyd laughs to himself; “Im from Taps. You'll notice that, just like my co-worker who came here yesterday, I dont stink of cigar smoke.”

The doctor looks at him, inquisitive; “Im sorry?”

“In fact we're not the ones that stink of smoke, yes doctor?” Lloyd sniffs and looks around; “You covered the smell nicely today, air freshener? Subtle, very subtle.”

“Wait arent you the guy that was on the window scaffolding? You do window wiping too?”

Lloyd laughs out loud again; “Haha, for a doctor you ain't so bright, are ya?” Lloyd takes a step forward, getting serious; “Look doc, I know you're smoking in here and that messes with the samples, its also a huge health hazard to every person in this district of New York. I can get you fired.”

The doctor suddenly becomes defensive enough to raise his voice; “You ain't got nothing on me! Who the hell are you really?”

Lloyd yells over him just loudly enough; “I just have a feeling the samples are going to be much clearer soon! Right?!”

A knock is heard on the door behind Lloyd; “Steve?” Lloyd panicks but taking Chuck's idea he also slips behind the door as Godfried opens it.

“Yes? Sir?” The doctor looks a bit confused and nervous as his blood pressure had just heightened after the conversation with Lloyd. He looks at Godfried and then Lloyd who is directly behind him, but Lloyd seems calm.

“The samples?” Godfried says; “Samples looking clear today?”

“Actually sir,” The doctor pauses and looks at some sheets on the desk to his right.

The doctor finds a sheet and pulls it out, looking at Godfried; “Sir its just-” Dr. Pritchard then focuses on whats behind Godfried, as Lloyd holds up a picture of the doctor smoking off limits in his office, only minutes ago. The doctor then gulps, looking very nervous.

“You alright Steve?” Godfried looks at the doctor as the sweat shines off his forehead.

“Just, uh, fine sir.” The doctor pulls himself together; “The samples. Uh, all clear, I s'ppose.”

“Good... You suppose?”

Lloyd begins waving the picture, directly behind the oblivious Godfried's head; “No sir, everythings fine. All clear, completely.”

“Great, I'll see you soon doctor.” The doctor nods as Godfried leaves, the nervous doctor then looks down at the ground; "Hey and Steve," Pritchard looks up nervously again; "Take a break yeah?" Godfried leaves as the doctor nods, and turns, putting his hand on the desk for stability, as he gets some air.

Lloyd walks out towards him, looking confident; “So doc, we got a deal? All samples, all clear, all the time, and you keep your job, right?”

Pritchard looks up at Lloyd; “Lemme see that.”

The doctor then takes the photo off of Lloyd examines it closely, confirming its authenticy. He bangs his hand off the desk in anger.

“Damnit!” The doctor then rips the photo in half, then looking at the ripped up photo on the ground; “I s'pose that doesnt matter, you jerks probably have 200 copies of that thing.”

The doc turns around as Lloyd agrees; “... What do you take me for?”

The doctor is now looking out the window, across New York; “Fine you have a deal. Keep these pictures to yourself and all will be clear samples, get out.”

“Pleasure doing business with ya doc,” Lloyd turns to walk out of the room.

"-I suppose you think it matters, making water clean for your scummy little district. Godfried was dropped with this awkward job, you really think he cares about you?"

"You need to calm down Doc, maybe a smoke break?" Lloyd slams the door before Pritchard can say anymore.

 

Outside of the building Chuck is looking at a large clock across the street; “Thats, thats- 10 minutes,” Chuck then looks around, unsure of what to do, he then slowly drags his feet down the sidewalk.

“Chuck! Wait up!” A voice calls from behind him.

“Lloyd!” Lloyd jogs towards him, coming out of the building; “How did it go?”

“Great,” Lloyd smiles; “Every sample will be all clear from now on, Chuck.”

“Thats good.”

“Indeed my friend, just one thing though,” Lloyd then takes out both halfs of the ripped up photo and joins them together, looking down at them; “We really should have gotten some copies of this.”

 

Inside the rusting, dark building of Taps the next day, Chuck and Lloyd are casually spread out on an old couch, infront of an old black and white TV set. They are both only feet away from the sink they should be working at.

“Hey Chuck,” Lloyd says jokingly; “Feel like cleaning filters?”

“Naw Lloyd, -I really like these Spanish sitcoms.”

“Sounds good to me, good to me.”

On the other end of the room was the phone, which began ringing. Lloyd jumped up to answer it.

“Dont worry Chuck, I got it,” Lloyd walked towards the phone, curious incase it had something to do with bribing Dr. Pritchard; “Hello?”

It was Dr. Pritchard himself, on the other end of the phone; “You boys! You gotta do something!” The doctor sounded very nervous; “We got more chlorine than water here guys!”

“Yes,” Lloyd responded; “But Godfried wont know that, will he?”

“I know I know, but this is really bad! Tanthum's water springs are pure white! I dont know where all the chlorines coming from but you guys gotta fix it!”

All the doctor can hear next is the fading laughter of Lloyd as he hangs up the phone and returns to the couch.

“Who was it?” Chuck asks.

“...Wrong number.”

“Oh,” Both men continue watching the TV.

 

High in the sky in Godfried's building, Godfried steps out of his office for lunch once again, the worry of poor water flowing through the pipes quickly fades as the past few days results have been positive, but he checks with the doctor nonetheless.

"Hello?" The doctor replies to the knock on his door.

"Hi Steve, hows the water?" Godfried asks.

"Uh-" Dr. Pritchard hesitates, knowing how poor the water has been of late; "Its fine, sir, great."

"Good... Listen Steve," Godfried talks seriously to the doctor; "We've had quite a few complaints about that water over the past number of days and Im just wondering, are you sure its good water? Everythings all clear? Everything?"

"Of course sir, yes. Every last drop and everything and all that..... Really clear sir."

"Alright Steve, I believe you-"

"-Y'know what I just realised it'll take a bit of time for the water to get through the system. The water people are getting now will improve soon. Yeah..." Pritchard smiles, rather unconvincingly.

"Well thats great Steve, good news. If theres any doctor I can trust in this city, its you. I'll see you later Steve. I'll head down to Taps to see how those idiots are working."

The doctor nods as Godfried leaves, and whispers to himself; "Damn, how do I live with myself," He then pulls out a cigar.

 

In the dark building of Taps, both men are sleeping on the couch, with some American talk show on the television being the only thing lighting up the room. Chuck has a blanket wrapped around him, and obviously both men havent been exactly been working hard in the past few days.

"Boys? You there?" A loud knock is heard on the door, Lloyd suddenly wakes, not sure of whats going on as he looks a bit confused; "Its Godfried! Open up."

"Chuck, Chuck!" Lloyd taps his co-workers shoulder as he wakes up, he whispers to him; "Its Godfried! He's here, get up!"

"Godfried? Godfried!" Chuck suddenly gets to his feet, and pauses for a second, unsure of what to do but then rushes towards the sink and slips on some gloves, pretending like he's been working all day.

"Let me in damnit!"

"Coming, ...uh," Lloyd turns off the TV and then throws Chuck's blanket over it, he then rushes towards the door; "Oh, Godfried, hows it going?"

"I'm not here to talk peanuts Lloyd, you guys screwed up the water," Godfried steps in, looking angry.

Lloyd closes the door; "Oh, how would that be?"

"I dont know Lloyd, the doctor said it's fine but theres something wrong. I dont care whether the waters too hot, too cold, just right, somethings wrong Lloyd, you guys better fix it. What have you done today?"

"I guess-" Lloyd hesitates; "We brushed up on the filters all day. May as well keep them clean, sir."

"Yeah, well..." Godfried inspects the place, he looks at Chuck as Chuck smiles in an unconvincing way, as he isnt even washing anything at the sink; "Well its not good enough. It just isnt."

"Alright sir."

Godfried walks towards the door; "You guys get this place in tip top shape or else you'll both be in the unemployment line by the end of the month!" Godfried slams the door before Lloyd gets a chance to speak over him.

"Oh no Lloyd," Chuck shows how worried he is; "What if we lose our jobs?"

"Forget that, he wont fire us, no-one else is stupid enough to do this job for the money we get. What we really need to focus on, is how to get back at Godfried..."

"What? Lloyd, you crazy?"

"Well, not to his face, but there are ways..."

it will take some time hun

Thats like, Chapter 2 out of probably 10 or so chapters (If I remember all the ideas I had for it).

My crappy story of the day:

I've finally done it.

I rear-ended a BMW (SUV). :rolleyes:

 

yeah, sorry that has nothing to do with this thread

:stunned: whoo...I promise I'll read but not now...

that's alot to read :stunned:

yeah that's what I mean. And it's English.

so that's why you've been out of our lives for so long reils

What the hell people? It takes like 15-20 minutes to read. Took me a day of work to write when I was THIRTEEN, I think you under-estimated what I meant by story.

 

I did actually mean like, potential book, book about a story. Not in the sense of "one day I went to the park with my dog and he ate a rabbit". So thats my disclaimer.

 

Doesnt anyone out there actually read books, novels, biographies? This should be peanuts.

:cool: :cool: :cool: Reilly, I read it! :P :P :P :P

 

:cool: :cool: :cool: and I like it!!!!!!

Weeaaallllyyy? Thankyup!

 

Seeing as your the only person to have read it, cant ya tell me something more than you like it? Pleeeeeease Gordy, pwwwwweaaaassseee!?

 

Like I dunno, anything thats really wrong with it. The story develops from what has been written, to being much more than just getting back at Godfried (The rich boss guy) thats just the first step, they start to poison the city's water supplies through other TAPS workers in different NY districts (Not literally poison, but many different hilarious illnesses can result in poisoning water with different chemicals).

:) :) yea I got that idea as i was reading it...Llyd needs to get Chuck to give him a bj while they r waiting for Pritchard and Godfried to give them a raise...and give Lloyd another promotion for that h2o he spilled on him

but it has potential...don't throw it away Reilly :)

you wrote that when you were 13? i couldnt write that when i was 13!! it was really good, i enjoyed reading it, i think Chuck and Lloyd should hatch an evil plan to bring down goodfried by say planting the blame on him for the water having so much chlorine or something like that it was really good! i want more to read! lol :D

Thank you!

 

Planting the blame is a good idea yeah, but the chlorine is actually quite insignificant (Just something for Godfried to keep them on their toes). Thanks!

 

The problem is now changing my writing style back to when I was 13, losing all progression made in the last 4 years. Hmmm... Can I be bothered re-writing it? Nope.

dont rewrite it just carry on form where you left off, and see where it goes and then if it doesnt go anywhere then just say that chuck and lloyd poisoned goodfried with the water and he died, along with his dog who also drank the water mwahahaha im soo evil! :P

Oh good story Reilly :) How the heck could you write like that when you were 13?! :stunned: :lol:

The only thing I have to say though is that it seems kind of impersonal, like the way you refer to each character, is like you're just observing them. Do you get what I mean?

But really good story!! :cool:

Thank you! And thank you ever more for the note, I know exactly what you mean. Each character is supposed to be a real person with thoughts and stuff, not just a contributor to the scene (As in, they'd say and act as they would without realising its a scene).

 

It is tricky stuff, thanks fiona.

Your welcome :)

Type the rest up when you have it done coz it would be good to read :)

Your welcome :)

Type the rest up when you have it done coz it would be good to read :)

 

yup! i want to find out how they bad boys turn out! :D

Hehe its going to take a LOT of self motivation, hopefully I'll start up on it again very soon.

 

Thanks for the support guys, I mean that, thanks.

no problem, its a great story dont give up on it